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  1. #1
    Magnetysm is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Situation with girl from online dating site

    OK, so I'm quite content with the fact that everyone I know on Facebook is a real life friend. I want to keep it that way, I don't want to add any girls that I've never met before. It's happened a couple times that girls online want to see my FB and I flat-out tell them no, not until I've met you and until we find out if we click in person. Needless to say, women don't like this. I've got this really sexy girl right now giving me an ultimatum on the matter. And she's definitely into me, but I'm afraid this might be a make-it or break-it point. Should I just cave an add her? I'd rather not. Or is there a smooth way to talk my way out of/around this situation? Thanks, Mag

  2. #2
    JonTylerDiPrince is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Situation with girl from online dating site

    Hold your ground. "Facebook is for close friends and family. You're cool enough that I'm sure you can respect that."

    If you can't avoid it, create a "List" in facebook and lock everything down for that list. Then add her to that list. It's kind of convoluted now since Facebook has made "Groups" a more prominent feature, but you can still create lists, and set defaults which essentially excludes all your private information from that list. I call mine the "Randoms" list (i.e. random people)

    Or just push her away and forget about her. Tell her why you did. "I don't have people in my life that don't respect boundaries and privacy." She's going to be the type of girl that tries to steal your passwords and sht.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to JonTylerDiPrince For This Useful Post:

    Magnetysm (11-27-2015)

  4. #3
    Magnetysm is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Situation with girl from online dating site

    Quote Originally Posted by JonTylerDiPrince View Post
    Hold your ground. "Facebook is for close friends and family. You're cool enough that I'm sure you can respect that."

    If you can't avoid it, create a "List" in facebook and lock everything down for that list. Then add her to that list. It's kind of convoluted now since Facebook has made "Groups" a more prominent feature, but you can still create lists, and set defaults which essentially excludes all your private information from that list. I call mine the "Randoms" list (i.e. random people)

    Or just push her away and forget about her. Tell her why you did. "I don't have people in my life that don't respect boundaries and privacy." She's going to be the type of girl that tries to steal your passwords and sht.
    I'll look into the lists feature. It's not something I was even aware of.

    I sent this girl another message trying one more time to avoid adding her, something along the lines of your suggestion. In the previous message, she was making the argument that she needs to see my FB because I might be a creeper or something.

    My response:

    A creeper? Pfftt... you're a sharp girl, which is why I've enjoyed keeping with our conversation. I'm quite convinced you know I'm a safe, fun, and normal (well, as normal as can be expected) guy. So your hidden facebooking motives don't escape me.

    On a serious note, my facebook is a pretty tight circle of close friends. I post a lot of private stuff on there--for instance, the link to my blog and the 2nd draft of the novel I just wrote. It's not something I'd show people I don't know.

    I use to work there part time teaching kids after school. They required a background check and everything. Call 'em up and ask 'em if I'm cool.

    -Mag


    I'm unsure if giving her my old work website counts as trying to qualify myself. But it was one of those things where I really wouldn't expect her to follow up on it (although it's fine if she did).

  5. #4
    JonTylerDiPrince is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Situation with girl from online dating site

    big time qualification. could have just left it at "my facebook is a pretty tight circle of close friends." Now it seems like you're trying too hard and that it really matters to you. It'll be harder to make it a non-issue now. SHE's the creeper. Find a way to change the subject, if it's not too late. You don't want this dominating your interaction.

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    Magnetysm (11-27-2015)

  7. #5
    Magnetysm is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Situation with girl from online dating site

    Quote Originally Posted by JonTylerDiPrince View Post
    big time qualification. could have just left it at "my facebook is a pretty tight circle of close friends." Now it seems like you're trying too hard and that it really matters to you. It'll be harder to make it a non-issue now. SHE's the creeper. Find a way to change the subject, if it's not too late. You don't want this dominating your interaction.
    Alright, gotcha. Perhaps when she responds, if she's still harping on it, I'll just ignore her for a few days?

  8. #6
    JonTylerDiPrince is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Situation with girl from online dating site

    Don't think the conversation has to be logical. If you've got a little comfort, maybe try and start a new conversation ahead of time. That way she'll feel the harping herself if she brings it up. Then you can call her out on it.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to JonTylerDiPrince For This Useful Post:

    Magnetysm (11-27-2015)

  10. #7
    Magnetysm is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Situation with girl from online dating site

    Quote Originally Posted by JonTylerDiPrince View Post
    Don't think the conversation has to be logical. If you've got a little comfort, maybe try and start a new conversation ahead of time. That way she'll feel the harping herself if she brings it up. Then you can call her out on it.
    Solid point.

  11. #8
    perrotdude Guest

    Default Re: Situation with girl from online dating site

    Dude walk away from that one. i agree, she's the type who's going to be reading through your emails when you're not looking. you dont need that!

  12. #9
    Magnetysm is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Situation with girl from online dating site

    Quote Originally Posted by perrotdude View Post
    Dude walk away from that one. i agree, she's the type who's going to be reading through your emails when you're not looking. you dont need that!
    Heh...well, my emails aren't that interesting. Can't imagine anyone reading more than a couple before getting bored.

  13. #10
    Morrisb is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Situation with girl from online dating site

    I use other sites. Talking to girls I already know doesn't sound interesting.


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