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Thread: Say no to LJBF (Let's Just Be Friends)! Friendship is for p*ssies: The HmS Method

  1. #1
    Alanswer's Avatar
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    Default Say no to LJBF (Let's Just Be Friends)! Friendship is overrated: The HmS Method

    How to avoid, prevent and counter the «LJBF» statement? Use the HmS Method.

    There’s an easy way to avoid being tagged as a friend, to stay in the ‘potential suitor’ category.

    And with this really simple idea, she doesn’t have her say, at all.
    You’ll never depend on HER (their) choice again. YOU will decide when and if it doesn’t bother you to be considered as a friend. You can always decide to play the seduction card later or if you want to be seen as a potential lover (not necessarily as a boyfriend) right from the start (better solution).

    The other advantage of this method is that you can use it at any moment, even if she told you she wanted to just be friends already.
    But to steer clear of confusion and/or be seen as a bit weak not having expressed your ideas sooner. You should make this statement as soon as you decide to hit on her.

    So, you want to know what is it? It’s simple.
    You just have to make her understand, clearly and without any ambiguity, that you don’t believe TRUE man-woman friendship to be possible.

    That’s the « When Harry meets Sally » Method. (HmS Method) For those who don’t know the movie, it was starring Billy Crystal (Harry) and Meg Ryan (Sally). The main topic was men-women relationships including, of course, the (im)possibility (argued by Billy Crystal) of true friendship between members of opposite sex.

    It’s really an indirect and effortless way to tell her you don’t wish to be her friend… So, guess what, she won’t see you as one. She won’t be able to use it as an excuse to turn you down either.

    If you’re already in a situation where the girl expressed her preference for you to just be friends and only that, you can always decide to tell that it doesn’t work for you anymore. The time constraint is important because you don’t want her to think that you have been lying (implicitly or not) to her by agreeing to be friends when, in fact, you were physically attracted since day one.
    You can say that you thought it was a good thing or that you tried but now it doesn’t seem right. And then you can further explain it by introducing the HmS concept. You saw the film recently or you read an article on the subject… And it got you thinking.

    As I said it’s clearly trickier but still a good way to (try to) express your true feelings for the first time. You have nothing to loose. Better to end a one-way (phony, imposed, unhealthy) friendship than continually being frustrated.
    You may believe that seeing her as a friend is better than nothing… But really, think about it, you’ll be better off when you face reality and start to open yourself to the world (plenty of nice beautiful girls out there)… Instead of being locked up in a depressing and windowless box.

    So, how do you like that?!
    Last edited by Alanswer; 03-21-2011 at 07:57 PM.

  2. #2
    Raunchy is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Say no to LJBF (Let's Just Be Friends)! Friendship is for p*ssies: The HmS Method

    i dont like it...i love it

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Say no to LJBF (Let's Just Be Friends)! Friendship is for p*ssies: The HmS Method

    Addendum

    Don’t admit FEELINGS for her, just tell her you want more than just friendship and/or you find her attractive, that’s all . Don’t develop. If she asks you what you mean, just tell her you’re a man and men are attracted to cute and smart girls…

    If you already expressed your true feelings to her it becomes trickier. You thought you had nothing to lose… And you were right!
    Better to end a one-way (phony, imposed, unhealthy) friendship than continually being frustrated. You may believe that seeing her as a friend is better than nothing… But really, think about it, you’ll be better off when you face reality and start to open yourself to the world (plenty of nice beautiful girls out there)… Instead of being locked up in a depressing and windowless box.

    So, now, what you need to do is to put your money where your mouth is and… break contact with her. I mean it. Completely remove her out of your life (for a while at least, something like a month.)
    Don’t worry, you’ll make your come back. We keep in mind that the goal is to convert this ‘friendship’ into an affair or real relationship. But it will be on YOUR terms and you will have shown you’re willing to walk away.
    Even better (for the reasons we mentioned above) if you’re actually thinking it, not only acting as if…

    But DON’T BE BITTER OR ANGRY, this is very important. Tell her what you have to say (you understand that she doesn’t seem to see you that way but it doesn’t work for you anymore. That kind of thing.) and don’t wait for an answer, just go..

    Don’t try to convince her (rationally) to be your girlfriend or to have a romantic relationship. Women don’t work that way. Logic will never attract a girl. But emotions, feelings will.

    If she tries to call you, tell her that you’re busy and/or keep the conversation short. Again no anger nor frustration. Just show her everything’s fine for you. In fact, you feel even better. If you see her, adopt the same Mindset/attitude. Smile but don’t speak long.

    she’ll begin to realize that you have other interests in your life than her. She may even be missing you or get frustrated (that’s good). She will ask you questions like « Where were you? », « What did you do? ». No need to answer all her questions. Be a bit vague, let her imagination do the job for you. Above all: DON’T reassure her by saying things like: « Oh, it‘s nothing. I was with John. » Or: « Don‘t be worried you‘ll always be first for me » ….

    You can also play on the jealous side. Go and see other girls, even if you don’t make out with them. Better if you do. If so, don’t do it just in front of her, be subtle. If you know she’ll be somewhere, be with or kiss your new ‘girlfriend’ 50, 100 yards from her… And don’t notice her presence, don’t speak about it afterwards. Let her bring up the subject… When speaking about this (new) girl, be positive, describe her in a good light (Don’t need to make up stuff or to try too much).

    If she doesn’t get jealous or more interested in you, at least you know were you stand now. No need for you to loose your time and emotions on her.

    The main point is STOP being always there for her. Again, better to be a bit sad for a while… but having a life… Than being sad and being masochistic as well. By constantly being there for her, you ARE with her and hear her… Always reminding you how much you’d like more. It’s seriously unhealthy. You don’t want her to be(come) your «ONE-ITIS» (See our PUA Dictionary for definition.)

    So, just stop. And maybe you’ll like what you find and you’ll indeed begin to think less about her, meet other girls. You can even end up being pursued by HER.

    But always remember, the three most important words a guy who is/was ‘LJBFed’ forget are:
    Attraction, attraction, attraction. Comfort is only half of seduction.

    Have a life. Stop giving her only comfort… Meet new/other girls.
    That’s the best way to don’t come across as needy… Because you aren’t! You have other girls gravitating around you. This girl could be cool to make out with but she isn’t the only one!

    From now on, with the girl you meet and are attracted to, you need to be more playful, teasing (e.g. cocky-funny instead of simply nice). Use more Kino: Touch them more (light touches, don’t make them fell uncomfortable)… And show them you don’t need them.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Say no to LJBF (Let's Just Be Friends)! Friendship is for p*ssies: The HmS Method

    damn wish you caught me about a week ago haha...ive already pretty much gave her the boot..well sort of. last friday she wanted to 'hang out' (which this particular hang out shes put off for three weeks prior) so i said sure at first and we set a time and place...then i txt her back and playful ask if she's gonna treat me on this 'date' which i called it. thats where she pretty much hit me with a 360. she declined it as a date..and as im persisting that it should be a date is where she comes out and says basically ''i cant date anyone right now yada yada yada" then shortly after her next reply was "i thought i made it clear we're just friends, besides im interested in someone at my church".........bitc h. i didnt freak or nothin. jus told her i dont to be friends and that if she didnt ant me then we dont really need to chat anymore. she tried to stop me but i was done. then she txt me a day or two after asking if i was gonna talk to her again and i said no not yet. hahah i hate this fuckin girl..wasted the last four or five months workin on this bitch!

  5. #5
    Alanswer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Say no to LJBF (Let's Just Be Friends)! Friendship is for p*ssies: The HmS Method

    Yep, sometimes you need to say stop. Above all when she said to you she was interested in someone else. Next time you'll see the sign sooner and won't waste your time. We can't have them all now, can we... Still, I really thought you could have this one. Something must have gone wrong. You didn't tell me how the wine testing went.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Say no to LJBF (Let's Just Be Friends)! Friendship is for p*ssies: The HmS Method

    was nooo wine she she flaked that whole idea...anyways she still texts me evry now and again...i really dont wanna talk. i think shes trying to make me alil jealous its evident here: her:hey me:hello her:hi how are you? meretty good you?(or something like that) her:im good, been real busy with work and school so it leaves very little time for the friends and bf.... i promise i wanted to tell her just drop dead right there hahah

  7. #7
    husk is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Say no to LJBF (Let's Just Be Friends)! Friendship is for p*ssies: The HmS Method

    There could not have been a better time for me to read this. I've had a major case of one-itis for a while. Basically, on a drunk night recently we made out, she told me she loved me etc. When I asked her out a few days later she LJBF'd me. Having a convo with her now about being friends I said "sure" .. Can I say to here "actually.." Someone finish that sentence for me? =s

    Husk

  8. #8
    husk is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Say no to LJBF (Let's Just Be Friends)! Friendship is for p*ssies: The HmS Method

    Actually, I'm gonna have to apologize, I understand you don't see me in that way but I can't do the whole friends thing. x
    Take care of yourself Sally x

    please dont do this

    10:11pm
    Sally please understand I'm not and don't mean to sound angry or resentful but I can't just pretend like I don't want to take things to the next level. I'm a guy, it's not how it works, and I just don't think friendship will work.

    so this is it? we're just not going to speak anymore? x

    what now?! xD

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Say no to LJBF (Let's Just Be Friends)! Friendship is for p*ssies: The HmS Method

    It's her move... let her marinate on that last text you sent. She will contact you and then it will your clue that she still is interested in you. Play hard to get...

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Say no to LJBF (Let's Just Be Friends)! Friendship is for p*ssies: The HmS Method

    Me:Sally please understand I'm not and don't mean to sound angry or resentful but I can't just pretend like I don't want to take things to the next level. I'm a guy, it's not how it works, and I just don't think friendship will work.

    Her: so this is it? we're just not going to speak anymore? x

    Her: are we just not going to speak anymore? x

    Me: It's for the best x

    Her: well im sorry it came to this x

    (10 mins later)

    Her: okay i know you dont want to speak to me but i hate the fact that we're like this. Are you ever going to be able to talk to me? x

    Me: Sally I dont know.. you know how I feel and until I'm through with that then it just won't work.

    10:48pm
    Her: okay im sorry i'll leave you alone x

    I really should've waited for your advice for i said anything.. i think I royally Farked it up when I said "You know how I feel", just reminding her of when I was acting really AFC. =s


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