How to avoid, prevent and counter the «LJBF» statement? Use the HmS Method.
There’s an easy way to avoid being tagged as a friend, to stay in the ‘potential suitor’ category.
And with this really simple idea, she doesn’t have her say, at all.
You’ll never depend on HER (their) choice again. YOU will decide when and if it doesn’t bother you to be considered as a friend. You can always decide to play the seduction card later or if you want to be seen as a potential lover (not necessarily as a boyfriend) right from the start (better solution).
The other advantage of this method is that you can use it at any moment, even if she told you she wanted to just be friends already.
But to steer clear of confusion and/or be seen as a bit weak not having expressed your ideas sooner. You should make this statement as soon as you decide to hit on her.
So, you want to know what is it? It’s simple.
You just have to make her understand, clearly and without any ambiguity, that you don’t believe TRUE man-woman friendship to be possible.
That’s the « When Harry meets Sally » Method. (HmS Method) For those who don’t know the movie, it was starring Billy Crystal (Harry) and Meg Ryan (Sally). The main topic was men-women relationships including, of course, the (im)possibility (argued by Billy Crystal) of true friendship between members of opposite sex.
It’s really an indirect and effortless way to tell her you don’t wish to be her friend… So, guess what, she won’t see you as one. She won’t be able to use it as an excuse to turn you down either.
If you’re already in a situation where the girl expressed her preference for you to just be friends and only that, you can always decide to tell that it doesn’t work for you anymore. The time constraint is important because you don’t want her to think that you have been lying (implicitly or not) to her by agreeing to be friends when, in fact, you were physically attracted since day one.
You can say that you thought it was a good thing or that you tried but now it doesn’t seem right. And then you can further explain it by introducing the HmS concept. You saw the film recently or you read an article on the subject… And it got you thinking.
As I said it’s clearly trickier but still a good way to (try to) express your true feelings for the first time. You have nothing to loose. Better to end a one-way (phony, imposed, unhealthy) friendship than continually being frustrated.
You may believe that seeing her as a friend is better than nothing… But really, think about it, you’ll be better off when you face reality and start to open yourself to the world (plenty of nice beautiful girls out there)… Instead of being locked up in a depressing and windowless box.
So, how do you like that?!