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  1. #1
    Alanswer's Avatar
    Alanswer is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Why are you in the LJBF* (friend) zone? 1 of the most common mistakes men make

    *LJBF stands for «Let’s Just Be Friends».

    One of the most common mistake made by men is to believe that their desires for a woman/girl are automatically and undoubtedly known to her.
    Maybe they put too much faith in the women’s ability to sense a man’s attraction, the famous ‘woman intuition’.
    Or maybe they don’t give it much thought. As if, somehow, their intentions and desires were inevitably shared by the girl they feel connection with or arousal for… Because everything is clear… Or so they think.

    So, what happens when a man, holding this kind of underlying belief based on pure speculation, tries to share his feelings (with), touch or kiss her?
    He gets rejected and/or LBJF(ed) --explained below and in the PUA Dictionary of our site--. Sometimes he doesn’t even understand why.

    Well, it’s because he didn’t give her clear signs of emotional or sexual interest.

    Contrary to what most men think, a girl doesn’t always know what they have in mind when talking to her. You could just have a convivial or fun moment together. If you don’t show her you want more BEFORE to try some Kino or verbally express interest in her, she won’t be prepared for it… And you might get rejected or seen as creepy (touching her for no apparent reason).
    So, (if she’s polite) she very well might take your hand of her knee, neck… and tell you: «let’s just be friends, ok?» (The «ok?» here is rhetorical, she made her choice, at least for now.)

    The point here is to make you all understand that a woman (girl) needs seduction signals from you. You need to prepare her mentally and emotionally to be kissed or touched. As well as you need to build up, increase or create attraction.

    You have to express yourself verbally, sure. But also, and even more importantly because it’s more natural and is accessing directly her subconscious and emotional mind, non-verbally through body language, eye contact (the way you glance at her), smile…
    She doesn’t read minds! I know most of you think that girls are strange creatures but I can assure you they don’t have supernatural powers.

    They are more perceptive to non-verbal signs like body language, eye contact, tone of voice… than we are, it’s true. But It’s for the most part unconscious.
    That‘s why it‘s so important to give her these non-verbal signs. Your attitude must express self-confidence and charm (don’t worry you can learn how to) so she can perceive subconsciously you’re interested, attracted by her… And reciprocate these feelings.

    If you don’t, you take the risk of rejection. And she’ll give you the LJBF statement as an excuse.

    It’s not because you have these emotions, desires within you when you are with her that she will automatically and surely perceive them… And share them…
    And just laughing and smiling with her won’t cut it.

    So, advice and solution number one:
    Use your body language, eyes, tone of voice, behaviors, touch/kino… (non-verbal signs of attraction) to show attraction.
    Use words too.
    Better yet, create and/or increase HER attraction to YOU.
    That’s the kind of things (the steps to follow to make HER desire you as well as the best PUA routines and methods) you’ll be able to learn reading our website articles.

    But, remember, to effectively avoid being said « LJBF » the best way is for you to be regarded as a potential lover/boyfriend… And there are proper behaviors to adopt to achieve that efficiently.
    Read pua routines,tips,method s... They did most of the job for you.

    Alanswer

  2. #2
    dreamboy199 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Why are you in the LJBF* (friend) zone? 1 of the most common mistakes men make

    Hello Alanswer,thanks for the interesting post...i have a question .
    when after few months of dating,(and you known each other for 2 YEARS)and you want to take relationship to the next level,like in,get sexual,and your told sex is for married people,do women mean that? is that mind games,or honest truth due to their upbrining,or just a sighn of rejection and you should run like hell?
    with the same girl,before we dated,we had known each other for a year,long story short,was a on and off long distance relationship. AFTER the last breakup,i decided to move closer to her. At the time we werent dating,sinced i moved closer but my desire to get to talk to her again worked.I was invited to watch movies at her sus house,we were alone, and were just enjoying each others company. their was a moment,it was time to go to bed,and i wanted to sleep over. when all of suden she said,lets get naked... i was bit shocked and surprised( as in that moment i was wondering if she ment it,and felt we werent dating,is it a test)
    i inda played along,then she replied with a shocking ,confused expression,what if we were just 2 lonely people. At that moment,my nice guy side kicked in and i felt,i dont wanna ruin a potential long lasting relationship.that nite we slept in separate beds(i still remember her locking her bedroom door,and then txted me "what now"

    after that night,few weeks later,we did start a relationship,but nothing sexual happened. if i tried to touch her,she would push my hand away,once i got to close to her and she pushed me away....we eventually broke up,cause i couldnt tolerate her mind games,manipulative and emotional abuse.

    was i being a wuzz? i actually regret not trying to seduce her that evening she said lets get naked. thought i was doing the right thing...she has told me,i mustn't believe everything she says...i really either suck at understanding women or have a bit too much respect or worries not to make a move if you aint officially dating.

    any advice?

  3. #3
    Petros is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Why are you in the LJBF* (friend) zone? 1 of the most common mistakes men make

    When she didn't do any Kino with you should have started to ignore her as a punishment and the when you finally meet tell her you have expectations in a relationship...

    You have to show you are a man and with that she would have had sex with you later
    TO Win a GIRL you got to risk not getting to be with her and that can be very hard and it takes practice

    And for the post by alanswer...AWESOME

  4. #4
    dreamboy199 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Why are you in the LJBF* (friend) zone? 1 of the most common mistakes men make

    Thanks for your reply.

  5. #5
    WellDone is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Why are you in the LJBF* (friend) zone? 1 of the most common mistakes men make

    I'll Sum It Up.

    Sexual Frame

    Non Verbally - Body Language, Eye Contact, Confidence, Charisma, Tone Of Voice, And Always Smile (Normal Smile, Not Too Big, Make It Seem Like You Know Something She Doesn't Know, Yeah! That Smile)

    Verbally - Kino And Escalate, Start Out Little And Progress Through. Your Making Your Intentions Clear By Doing That.

    New Guy!
    -WellDone! AGH!

  6. #6
    jtp156 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Why are you in the LJBF* (friend) zone? 1 of the most common mistakes men make

    most guys end up in friends zone because they let a girl know they like her before she is both interested and attracted to them.

    make a girl fight for your attention. and never, ever let her know you like her before you know she likes you, then you can act as if she's starting to win you over.

    and this is short, but it's all you need. think about it... every time you end up in with some girl telling you she just wants to be friends, it's because you violated one of these two things.

  7. #7
    dpav02 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Why are you in the LJBF* (friend) zone? 1 of the most common mistakes m

    Quote Originally Posted by jtp156 View Post
    most guys end up in friends zone because they let a girl know they like her before she is both interested and attracted to them.

    make a girl fight for your attention. and never, ever let her know you like her before you know she likes you, then you can act as if she's starting to win you over.

    and this is short, but it's all you need. think about it... every time you end up in with some girl telling you she just wants to be friends, it's because you violated one of these two things.
    Dude... this totally just changed my life. I'm not kidding. THATs what I've been screwing up with the ENTIRE time.

    Damn.


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