*LJBF stands for «Let’s Just Be Friends».
One of the most common mistake made by men is to believe that their desires for a woman/girl are automatically and undoubtedly known to her.
Maybe they put too much faith in the women’s ability to sense a man’s attraction, the famous ‘woman intuition’.
Or maybe they don’t give it much thought. As if, somehow, their intentions and desires were inevitably shared by the girl they feel connection with or arousal for… Because everything is clear… Or so they think.
So, what happens when a man, holding this kind of underlying belief based on pure speculation, tries to share his feelings (with), touch or kiss her?
He gets rejected and/or LBJF(ed) --explained below and in the PUA Dictionary of our site--. Sometimes he doesn’t even understand why.
Well, it’s because he didn’t give her clear signs of emotional or sexual interest.
Contrary to what most men think, a girl doesn’t always know what they have in mind when talking to her. You could just have a convivial or fun moment together. If you don’t show her you want more BEFORE to try some Kino or verbally express interest in her, she won’t be prepared for it… And you might get rejected or seen as creepy (touching her for no apparent reason).
So, (if she’s polite) she very well might take your hand of her knee, neck… and tell you: «let’s just be friends, ok?» (The «ok?» here is rhetorical, she made her choice, at least for now.)
The point here is to make you all understand that a woman (girl) needs seduction signals from you. You need to prepare her mentally and emotionally to be kissed or touched. As well as you need to build up, increase or create attraction.
You have to express yourself verbally, sure. But also, and even more importantly because it’s more natural and is accessing directly her subconscious and emotional mind, non-verbally through body language, eye contact (the way you glance at her), smile…
She doesn’t read minds! I know most of you think that girls are strange creatures but I can assure you they don’t have supernatural powers.
They are more perceptive to non-verbal signs like body language, eye contact, tone of voice… than we are, it’s true. But It’s for the most part unconscious.
That‘s why it‘s so important to give her these non-verbal signs. Your attitude must express self-confidence and charm (don’t worry you can learn how to) so she can perceive subconsciously you’re interested, attracted by her… And reciprocate these feelings.
If you don’t, you take the risk of rejection. And she’ll give you the LJBF statement as an excuse.
It’s not because you have these emotions, desires within you when you are with her that she will automatically and surely perceive them… And share them…
And just laughing and smiling with her won’t cut it.
So, advice and solution number one:
Use your body language, eyes, tone of voice, behaviors, touch/kino… (non-verbal signs of attraction) to show attraction.
Use words too.
Better yet, create and/or increase HER attraction to YOU.
That’s the kind of things (the steps to follow to make HER desire you as well as the best PUA routines and methods) you’ll be able to learn reading our website articles.
But, remember, to effectively avoid being said « LJBF » the best way is for you to be regarded as a potential lover/boyfriend… And there are proper behaviors to adopt to achieve that efficiently.
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