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  1. #1
    thedankster Guest

    Default I am NOT BEAUTIFUL, please help!!

    Hey guys, I need help with a girl situation.

    The lowdown: This girl and I have been hanging out for the past 2 months, she's come over on several occasions and I've cooked her food, on which she has complimented me on. However, these always seem to be "study" dates. Sometimes she seems to be into me and sometimes she seems to give me a really weird vibe. I invited her to sleep-over one night and she said "haha i may have to take you up on that" but that never actually materialized because she pulled an all-nighter to study for an exam and couldn't stay the entire night. She's been really engaged with our conversations the past two weeks or so, and flirty. Here's a string of texts from earlier today that seems to give me mixed signals...PLEASE HELP!!

    her "lol i wish i was too. Did you like it?"
    me "i'll give it a 7 but watching it with a beautiful woman woulda made it a 10"
    her "i am not a beautiful woman"
    me "and what would make u say that?"
    her "because i am not. that's just a fact"
    me "a fact i'd like to argue against"
    her "go ahead and argue"
    me "since i'm so conceited, i wouldn't set aside so much of my time to hangout with this so called not beautiful woman, if she wasn't in fact, so"
    her "well, just no"
    me "oh mmk i think it best we shouldn't hang out then, since i guess i lost the argument"
    her "ouch"
    me "you HAD to win, so now you reap what you sew, miss. idk what else to tell ya and you obviously don't like the truth...but i don't like to tell lies. so see the dilemma we have here?"
    her, "nope, not at all, si ha!"
    me "what?"
    her, "i'm going to sleep now good nightttttt"

    I'm getting so pissed about these mixed signals she sends out, it's really frustrating and I feel like I'm wasting my time with her.

  2. #2
    dlb_8685 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I am NOT BEAUTIFUL, please help!!

    To me the critical moment here is your response string after she says "I'm not beautiful." It seems like you lose the argument with her, and at the same time imply that you don't hang out with girls if they aren't hot. To me the mixed signal is her simply not liking/feeling good about where the conversation is going, and in the kind of way that doesn't build attraction or rapport.

    I'm not an expert though, I'm more curious as to what other people have to say. I might be completely off here, I'm really trying to get better myself at reading situations like this.

    What's a good thing to say she says "I am not a beautiful woman?" I'm actually confused as to whether his response was best or if it led down the line where he sounds like he only hangs out with beautiful girls, etc.

  3. #3
    VisiniR is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I am NOT BEAUTIFUL, please help!!

    Hi

    Honestly this is not a situation that I have been… So I will try to help and also look forward what other members can share.

    I think u are stuck on the friends zone now. Even u show some intent, she seems quite comfortable how the things are now and is messing with u show some sexual value that she knows that will keep the things going with u.
    Anyway the frame is established by her and u are thinking and not doing. U are not leading your movie forward but stuck on her movie.

    Maybe some attraction is lost by now… My suggestion is u keep the current flow but insert a new member. A new girl on the story maybe will shake her.

    Maybe she will see some competition and keep increasing sexual value signal or she will leave.

    Anyway I think in both situations there will be an opportunity to u to lead to achieve your intents.

  4. #4
    Sitfab's Avatar
    Sitfab is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I am NOT BEAUTIFUL, please help!!

    This could very well be a shit test, if she doesn't genuinely have low self-esteem. And indeed, you bought into her frame for the moment, but you can easily turn it around.

    You're not in the friends zone yet, but you're on the way if you don't build attraction soon.

    Also, she deliberately sends those mixed signals to test your value. Don't give in.


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