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Thread: Bitch Shields?

  1. #11
    Syrus is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Bitch Shields?

    Let me tell you, you are approaching at this from the wrong perspective.. "I wasn't really thinking about getting her into bed. I was gonna be happy with whatever type of relationship she wanted." You sound needy and a push-over.

    Come on, you are better than that bro. You choose the relationship You decide what You want, and how long You wanted lo last. It is a lifestyle.

    she is just another fish in a big sea.

  2. #12
    DuncanIdaho is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Bitch Shields?

    Quote Originally Posted by Element View Post
    Some of the time, its the first one, which I just kill the conversation, because...well I'm not sure why, it just seemed like the right thing to do. She does the second type to other guys, which kinda give me the impression, that she could do the exact same to me too if I don't handle my approach well
    I find in my personal experience, you have to work "through" unreactive spots in a conversation.

    See a lot of people, especially ones used to using "openers" at clubs parties and what not are used to opening to women being like HEY so when they see a chick that's just like "yeah sure okay" they're like oh man I botched the opener abort, whereas they should stay in there and keep rolling.

    I think it has to do with the environment, like if you're approaching in school the environment isn't FIST PUMPING EXCITING, so you gotta be in there long enough for your positivity to catch on.

  3. #13
    Element is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Bitch Shields?

    Thanks for the comments, I'm reading the Attraction Code right now, and thinking of implementing some shaping techniques, so I'm sure that'll do something. Syrus, any ideas of how to shape women, or any experience on it? Also DuncanIdaho, I've read some VinDicarlo articles about how emotions are contagious? Maybe that'll change her initial base reaction, instead of who the hell is this? To "hey this guy seems cool". Any examples you can give of you working through an unreactive spot? Thanks!

  4. #14
    Magnum is offline PUA in Training
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    Thumbs up Re: Bitch Shields?

    I agree, emotions are contagious. Use that to your advantage! Combine that with the concept of your reality-- that is to say, she is a visitor in your reality, rather than you being a visitor in hers. Basically, whatever her emotion is, it shouldn't bring you down from your positive place, otherwise she's leading you instead of you leading her.

    As for the unreactive spots, depends. Once enough rapport is developed, you can withdraw attention briefly to discourage her lack of enthusiasm and get her chasing you. Essentially, when she does something like that you disapprove of, let something else monopolize your attention-- act like you just got an important email on your phone or wave back to a friend a across the room. Unconsciously it will frustrate her that she can't hold your interest, and will make her question what she just did. When you return attention to her it will feel more like a reward, too. Thus, don't withdraw attention too long. If she's really bad, use a different technique rather than amping up this one.

    And remember, that's if you have good rapport already. If not, well, you just have to keep the conversation flowing, or abort early and create some mystery for the next encounter (I.e. Create a reason for cutting the conversation short, but have it be really interesting and/or unique. You'll maintain status for being the one to end the conversation, and you'll have here thinking about what you're up to in your interesting life. Just make sure it doesn't sound like you cut it off in direct response to her unreactive reply.) As for keeping the conversation going after an unreactive spot, it's best to have something interesting to say that gets her attention back, yet transition to it without making it seem like a non-sequiter. Non-sequiters are transparently obvious response to her letting the conversation drop, and doing that makes you appear to be trying too hard to get her attention back. Humorous observations are best, because they are naturally spontaneous, so they can come out of the blue without being connected to what was said before. Sometimes you just don't have one available, so it's best to have some interesting stories ready. The transition is often the hardest part and requires practice.


    So, now can anyone help me with mine?

    I'm calling this the delayed onset Bitch Shield, unless you guys think it's something else altogether...

    Starts out I'm leaving the club at the same time as aquaintance redhead HB9, so we walk together. Laughing, joking, good Rapport. I wasn't really bothing to game her, but she gave me the digits and told me to let her know next time I was going to this event. Couple weeks roll by and the event comes up again, I decide to go, and txt her a short FYI that I would be there (No-Flakes-style open loop or whatever its called). She flips out and sends me this long txt (3 pages with bullet points!!) about how I'm assuming she would care.

    My main question is this-- how do I respond to this?? I understand I should play it off as the cool confident Alpha Male who is above any petty drama, but how do you express that without getting sucked in nor totally defenestrating this chick? (remember I still have to float in the same social circle as this girl and we share a fair number of mutual acquaintances, and yes, if the situation were repaired I wouldn't be above banging her also lol )

    An additional question might be this-- how did this happen?? Is she just being bitchy because I had better things to do than call her the last two weeks? Is she just testing? Did she just totally forget that she *asked* me to remind her about the event? (even so, doesn't alone explain all the attitude) Or could it be she was having a bad day and she's just taking it out of the first person who bothers to talk to her?

    I'm pretty much anti-drama, so I hate to even give it this much attention, but I'd still like to learn how to better deal with this sort of thing in the future.

    Thanks!

  5. #15
    studmuffin52 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Bitch Shields?

    success story, so my buddies (3 of them) who are used to picking up people got all turned down, so i did a different approach.

    Basically, the girl before i even said a word was "are you here in attempt to get my number?"
    Me: "i was just walking passed you, but it's okay to think that I want your number.
    Girl: oh, I'm sorry.
    Me: it's okay. *and continued walking*
    Girl: wait! i turned down all your friends, are you sure you aren't up to something?
    Me: well I could be, buy me a drink and we could use that time to talk.
    Girl: okay.. *orders 2 cranberry vodka*
    Me: Sorry, I allergic to cranberries (a lie)....
    Girl: shit, I'm so sorry! what do you want ...
    Me: it's okay, you had your chance. *walks away*
    Girl: *finds me 10 minutes later with a rum and coke for me and her number on a napkin.*
    Me: cool! I will call you every 2 hours starting tmr.

    end...

    we ended up meeting up for another bar run, she called it a date... got cheeky with her, and that was it.

    definately a fun run, but I'd never want somehting serious with bitch shields, because in the end, they will only drain you.

  6. #16
    Element is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Bitch Shields?

    Thanks for your post Magnum..certainly got me thinking about things, and the advice was pretty helpful, any examples? And I would be more than happy to put in my own two cents about your situation, but my piece of advice now is to maybe start a new thread for that, so you could get help faster, than making people wade through my thread first. studmuffin, thanks for the comment also, what I'm wondering is how exactly did you get her to call back to you asking if you were up to something, did you build intrigue? Anyways, very well played out, you didn't go through the front door, you actually went through the back on that one, I might actually use that technique....I was reading somewhere recently just today that if you can make a girl laugh, her Bitch Shield is down for time being (until maybe the next interaction), so maybe you're right, if it becomes a task trying to Disarm it with each interaction. Thanks!

  7. #17
    Magnum is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Bitch Shields?

    Thanks, Element. I didn't mean to hijack your issue. I actually did post a new thread (http://www.puaforums.com/ask-expert/...-flip-out.html) but no one read it. I've noticed people often ignore a thread until it has a lot of views or replies, so sometimes I try to find a popular thread with a similar topic and see if I can help out in exchange. I've seen other people get help that way so I figured it was ok.

    As for examples, I seem to remember Style liked to use the "did you know Elvis was actually blonde?" one. I'm usually more situational, like connecting something from either the conversation or or the situation to a recent whacky news story or something (if you have a local alternative newspaper like the City Paper or whatever, they usually have the News Of The Weird section, or you can find one online). Sometimes openers can be adapted as conversation REopeners. Like the classic "did you just see that fight outside?" becomes "did you see that fight after class yesterday?" or whatever makes sense. Be creative. If you need to switch it up, try commenting on what she's wearing-- even the drab girls can talk about fashion for hours if it's something they picked out to reflect their own personal style. You can frame it as a neg or a compliment, depending on what is warranted. Usually I just go for a neutral statement and then transition to asking "so where do you get something like that?" which then can lead to "does that place have men's clothing?" which can easily lead to the classic 'errand date', as in "I was planning to go pick up a new pair of jeans this weekend, why don't you tag along, I could use an extra pair of eyes." etc. I forget who came up with that approach, I think it might be either Style or David DiAngelo.

    Anyway, I hope that helps. Please do give some advice on mine, I'm starting to feel like this chick was just upset that I didn't call her, and I'm not sure how to smooth that over without looking uncertain and apologetic.

  8. #18
    studmuffin52 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Bitch Shields?

    well, see there are always games in your head, think of a 2 sided story like a backup plan, i was walking towards the bar and she was in the middle of the dance floor, i looked at her and held the look. and as I walked past her I just grinned.

    Girls will call you out if they have heard a ton of lame pickup starts, or if they find you unusually different and unpredictable. When they do, it usually means you are doing somehting awesome .. or funny look like "why do you wear a winter jacket in a summer day in a bar"... point is, once they start, it's your game, they are playing in your home court, you set the rules, you play it out, you make them want you more. It's like instead of chasing someone, you are being chased.. and it's a good feeling.

  9. #19
    Element is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Bitch Shields?

    Thanks again studmuffin, so it's a type of intrigue that you use her to open you, which you then make her play on your terms...I think one would relate it to "peacocking" from "The Game". I see you take a much more subtle approach, what I try to do is say a funny joke to my friends as shes passing by, so *hopefully* she hears it, laughs and then comes over. I'm still trying to see if that's a good or bad type of approach. Another thing I do is sometimes I bring my guitar with me, and have a "jam session" (sounds weird when I'm typing it out..). I usually play some romantic song such as "You and Me" by Lifehouse when she walks by, in order to maybe associate those feelings with me...in a way (unfortunately I'm not blessed with a good singing voice). Another thing I liked was when I passed by another girl, I shouted "HI (girls name)!!!!!", and she would shout back "HI!!!". I would like to try the eye contact thing, but how much eye contact can you make, until you cross the line of being "creepy"? And yeah no problem Magnum, I wasn't really bothered or anything, and I did post a comment on your thread. Well I am gonna go on a trip with this girl around June for a class, so I kinda wanted to try something..that would..how shall we say..impact her emotions in a positive way, so that I'll be considered "unique" in her eyes, so I need to change her opinions about me to a friend, and Disarm her Bitch Shield for good. I'll try use your date ideas during the trip maybe. Thanks!

  10. #20
    studmuffin52 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Bitch Shields?

    the thing I noticed with reading all that "Game books" or PUA books, it's great it teaches you how to be confident, but it also makes you try hard to be different and sometimes we cross the line... actions speaks louder than words...

    here's an example, I was at a club with 2 of my guy friends and we were on the dnace floor and this girl drops her drink on the floor. I handed her napkins to dry her legs, skirt, floor whatever she wants to do, and she saids I'm usually not that clumsy! my response was... "you look like you just gave birth, you should relocate yourself to avoid being embarrased and she grabs my hand and takes me to another part of the dance floor and we start dancing and she asks for my name and number... you can imagine what happens after...

    The amount of eye contact is two times maximum where they are locked with the other girl, 3 seconds each time, within a 10 second pause in between, if that matches, you're golden, even if u just say, I'm a 40 year old virgin.. you're golden still... because the internal connection is made... (although that's a pretty funny pick up line.. lame by randomly funny.. yes i JUST came up with it and will test it out this weekend)

    The jokes sometimes backfire, because really what is "funny" these days? .. remember girls also keep up with PUA books and stuff, they get harder and harder to tackle.. my advice is stick with the classics .. don't get fancy, basic is key.

    I would also think that for your trip with the girl, do maybe a pre-trip date, make it feel special have a few laughs but no sexual intentions, just loosen the air.. it's kind of like .. pre-drinking. just to jump start things.


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