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  1. #1
    Lovesting is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Talking Kisses and hugs, or just hugs, or nothing?

    Hi Guys,

    I am lost on this one.

    I have been working this girl for a few weeks now. Everything else is going fine.

    Yes, she has a boyfriend. You know, I don't like to hire "unemployed women", lol.

    However, I need some advice on e-mails we have been interchanging.

    In the initial e-mails, I used to finish with "Best wishes", and she also replied with "Best Wishes". Then, I decided to end with "Hugs", and she also started replying to me with "Hugs".

    Then, one day I ended an e-mail with "Kisses", and she replied with only "hugs". I then finished a couple more e-mails with Kisses and gave up, going back to hugs.

    Then, one day, out of nothing, she replied to me with "Kisses", and then shortly ater, ended a subsequent e-mail with "A huge kiss".

    Well, I was exhilarated. I replied to this e-mail with "A huge kiss, honey".

    Well, since then, we have exchanged a number of e-mails. But then she has been ending all of them with "Hugs" only.

    Well, despite being kind of disappointed, I have kept ending my e-mails with "kisses". The curious thing is that, lately, although she keeps replying the texts with only hugs, she appears very enthusiastic in writing, with a text full of emoticons and emotional energy.

    Question is:

    From a texting point of view, would it be better for me to keep pressing with "Kisses", or even with a "Huge kiss", or should I step back and simply match whatever ending she uses?

    Or, what dynamic should I follow?

  2. #2
    Bill Preston's Avatar
    Bill Preston is offline Owner - PUA Forum
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    Default Re: Kisses and hugs, or just hugs, or nothing?

    She is teasing you and playing with you (and it's working). Instead of thinking about everything she is replying with so much, you need to be the one doing the teasing and keeping her on her toes.

  3. #3
    Lovesting is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Kisses and hugs, or just hugs, or nothing?

    Thank you.

    I guess I am a little blind with this dynamic.

    However, your reply is too theoretical for me. Please, explain what you mean with a practical example what I should do to "keep her on her toes".

    I do not know how to do that in an e-mail.

  4. #4
    Bill Preston's Avatar
    Bill Preston is offline Owner - PUA Forum
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    Default Re: Kisses and hugs, or just hugs, or nothing?

    I would check out Race's B4UTXTHER (Text Game Mastery) Program... it goes into details on teasing (the same can be used for email).

  5. #5
    Lovesting is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Kisses and hugs, or just hugs, or nothing?

    Ok, I will check into that - I am looking into his homepage now.
    But, in the meantime, any quick suggestion I could immediately use?
    Thanks

  6. #6
    gunsnglory is offline Official PUA Forums Moderator
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    Default Re: Kisses and hugs, or just hugs, or nothing?

    What you need to do is stop reacting to anything she does, that you didn't initiate. Otherwise, you are effectively falling for her $hit tests. Also, when she does respond positively to you, don't make a big deal over it. Just give her a light amount of indirect praise, or every once in awhile, no reaction at all.

    In this way, you will soon turn the tables and have her eating out of your hand, or if she was only playing with you for fun, she will get bored and leave. Either way, you win.

    EDIT:
    Also, you are stifling any good behavior when you point out things like "A big kiss, hon?" For two reasons. One, is what Bill mentioned, but two, if she isn't playing with you, you've just called her out for sticking her neck out and being a little flirty, now she is going to be self conscious and withdrawn for a bit. The only time you start pointing things out like that, is once she is super into you, and you both know it is on. At that point, you're one step above a direct, "Let's fack!" moment.

  7. #7
    Lovesting is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Kisses and hugs, or just hugs, or nothing?

    Thank you Gunsnglory. Very clear and informative.

    I will start doing the teasing in future e-mails and see how it goes.


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