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  1. #1
    DominoC is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need reassurance!! Please read..last opportunity TOMORROW!!

    Ok...I've failed for the second day in a row and feel like a total pussy. Somebody please give me some reassurance!!!

    (Sorry for the novel, put PLEASE read and let me know what you think)

    First off, I have zero experience approaching women at all. Its something I have been desperately trying to work on. I've never had a girlfriend but have had a couple successes with women who practically had to throw themeselves at me.

    I just finished day 2 of 3 of a training program for a new job I just started. There is about 100 people in the program, divided amongst five separate groups. The girl of interest is in one of the other groups and I only see her for a few minutes in the morning before training and a few minutes right after being released for the day.

    Everytime I see her, I feel as though she gives me several glances. I've tried multiple times to introduce myself, but continually pussy-ed out due to my poor conversation skills. So thus far, I have had zero one-on-one interaction. I can tell with certainty that she is somewhat shy and possibly a little insecure like myself.

    So here is my plan for my 3rd and final chance:

    I want to make a SINCERE PROMISE to myself that I will atleast talk to her even if it is short-lived and totally unsuccessful. I know I will regret not taking the the opportunity for a long time if I don't.

    My plan of approach is to hopefully catch her in the morning as she is walking towards the building before she has any chance to get into conversation with another girl I always see her talking to. I plan on opening by paying her a sincere compliment regarding her very nice/classy style of dressing. Word for word (since I'm to anxious to come up with anything on the spot) I plan on saying something along the lines of "Hey how you doing? You know, I've been wanting to tell you how much I like your style. Very classy." {{{Please give me you opinion of this opener}}}

    I'll probably then move into a little jib-jab about the job, exchange names, and then come flat out and tell her I've been trying to talk to her since day one but have been too nervous becuase she is so very attractive. {{{This I am also very unsure on...please let me know what your think}}} Depending on her feedback, I will then ask for an e-mail as we are walking into our separate training rooms.

    Please let me know what you think of this approach and if there is anything I can do differently to make it more casual and less awkward. I have a really good feeling about this, but I really just need some reassurance.

  2. #2
    Svemir is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need reassurance!! Please read..last opportunity TOMORROW!!

    Confidence can not be found, you have to build it . You have to work on your game , learn and practice it. Do not compliment her before she compliment you. Try acting cool . There is much more you need to know before you start sarging like this. Anything i say can be interp. wrong in eyes of a newbee. Go for it , if nothing you'll find out if you have balls or not hehe, it will make you feel better what ever happens.

    Try to open like this sice you see her only twice a day - if you're going to approach in the morning - just say '' good morning, i've noticed you yesterday you had a stain on your t-shirt- or whatever ( do it with a BIG SMILE ), she'll say, whatever she say, you say i could sware there was a chocolate stain but i saw it for a sec i could be wrong, that is a good neg so you can than start DHVing . . . i can't tell you a routine cuz nothing is scripted.figure something out to talk about, after you got in like - did you know that elvis died his hair, or ghandi was a lawyer, or something like that

    in evening do the some thing , say good morning like you just woke up try to jawn and then burst into laughter and say that you feel so refreshed, and that everybody are telling you that they are tired but you are just burning with energy good luck
    Last edited by Svemir; 05-18-2011 at 08:54 AM.

  3. #3
    DominoC is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need reassurance!! Please read..last opportunity TOMORROW!!

    Triple fail.

    I had the most perfect opportunity in the world, like it was put in front of me by God himself.....and I waited 1 minute to long and blew it. She was sitting by herself...no earphones...no cell...just waiting for a ride for like 10 minutes. (All while I sat 20ft away pretending to do the same/be busy on my phone)

    Its no big deal though..I know there's plenty more out there. I'm just worried I'm coming to a point in my life where great opportunities such as this one become much fewer and farther between. (21y/o, about to graduate college and enter professional workforce)

    I don't know why I just can't get my Mindset right.....logically I know I'm just like everyone else; I'm human, smart, and I even rate myself a solid 8/10 appearance wise. But because I think on some other level, I get anxious and get to the point where........this is funny actually.........if I'm having a normal enjoyable conversation with a good, close friend or family member, and even the slightest thought of "awkward eye contact" come across my mind, my eye contact goes totally weird and the conversation goes to shit.

    {{If anyone has any input on this please chime in -->}} I think my biggest "excuse" for not just getting out there and practicing is my lack of conversation/social skills. I cannot carry a conversation with any stranger for shit unless it can relate to my one of my two real passions which are cars/motorcycles and sadly, my little friend mary jane. (neither of which are any good for talking with females). I try to read up on a multitude of interesting subjects, watch pop TV, see new movies, but can never seem to use it advantageously in conversation....or even remember it when it comes to those moments. (only with strangers of course) I have any especially hard time at business socials, networking events, parties where I don't know anyone, etc.

    I feel that if I were confident in my ability to carry a conversation even with a dude, my Approach Anxiety for women would be GONE. This may just be my "excuse behavior" that is holding me back from just not going out and approaching as I should.

    On a good note, I do feel like I'm coming out of a depression of sorts and I'm ready to do whatever it takes to build my confidence. My hopes are high and I am eager to get out there and try some purposeful blowout lines which I believe may help.

    If you made it this far......thanks for reading another novel! And of course, feedback is greatly appreciated!

  4. #4
    Svemir is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need reassurance!! Please read..last opportunity TOMORROW!!

    U sound just like me few months ago, but my conversation skills were bad only if i liked the girl. And it was bad, i could think of a one story to tell , like i was an idiot, but when i was with my friends i was always the loudest and most funny. The thing that i done is that i had a peace of paper and wrote some funny stories on that like the story of 93-7 % girls mastrubate-sing under a shower or There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with month, orange, purple, and silver and few more, so when i get stuck i can start talking about it and while speaking something i've said a 1000000 times i try to think what next should i say.
    Go to type useless knowledge in into google and find some funny sh1t to talk about , but don't overdo it. it is just to fill the gaps.
    As a theme to talk about those things that you read , saw ar whatever put them on a paper and remember it , trust me if you read it few times and tell story outloud you will remember it !have that peace of paper in your back pocket.

  5. #5
    MD11Lover is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need reassurance!! Please read..last opportunity TOMORROW!!

    Man, I certainly know where you're coming from. I screwed up meeting a girlIve been enamored with for like 5 years so dont feel too bad. It sounds like you have plain and simple Approach Anxiety, the best thing you can do to alleviate this is simply to get a couple approaches under your belt and figure out how to reduce the meaning of these approaches. Being 24 and never even kissed a girl, despite being fairly attractive and personable had practically obliterated my confidence and social bearings and eventually figured out that all the knowledge in the world wasnt going to help me and that experience is the best way to gain confidence and to build a more robust social life. It may seem hard at first but after a while you simply pick up alot of things/social cues subconciously and it becomes more natural. Another thing I recommend is try learning something new everyday or trying a new experience, its a great way to shake up your "routine" and has the added benefit of giving you more things to talk about and being able to create a kind of cavalier personality that chicks find attractive. There are no easy answers, you simply have to get off your ass and let go of the outcome, the longterm benefits are invaluble despite the short term frustrations. Also I recommend "Rules of the Game" by Neil Strauss, I dont like shilling products but I feel that that book helped me break through my initial fears and offered an easy structured way to build confidence and learn social dynamics. Hope this helps, sorry for the essay.


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