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  1. #1
    gosteelersgo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default I suck at talking to girls

    I'm relatively new to the whole idea of game. Long story short, I've been battling depression/anxiety but seem to be doing a lot better lately so I've become a lot more comfortable around girls. I've banged 25+ girls that I've met online, and one that I used to work with. She introduced herself to me and basically was all over me whenever I showed the slightest interest.

    But my game has huge holes in it. There are awkward silences sometimes, and to head that off I sometimes just end the convo early. I tend to agree with girls and when they tell stories I honestly don't care sometimes so I just reply "yeah..." or "uh uhuh" instead of turning it into a story or something to let her show her feelings.

    A big part of my anxiety that I'm still getting over is that I'm sometimes very paranoid. I feel like everyone in the room is focusing on me and it makes me very nervous and I fumble and stumble around. This makes Kino extremely hard for me to initiate. I'm afraid to put my arm around a girl or hold her hand at times because I feel like my boss, or her girlfriends or a stranger will see us and she will react negatively and then it will embarrass me. When I have a girl alone there's no problems advancing and escalating to sex. But I usually try and escalate via text, which works really well on some girls but not others. Bottom line is flirting in person is a powerful tool that everyone needs. You can't get very far with text-only escalation. You can get some girls but not the ones I want. Luckily my anxiety has gone down a ton and now I'm going up and talking to girls at work and in public, smiling at them and just saying hi as they pass by. It makes me feel great because a few weeks ago I couldn't even look a girl in the face let alone initiate a conversation.

    But I really do suck at sustained conversations. I need to improve that for sure. And I'm really awkward at initiating kino. I've been trying my hardest to introduce it, but haven't had any results yet. My main methods are pointing to and touching a spot on her shirt and asking "what's that?" in a laughing tone, sort of a neg. Sometimes I'll throw in "you need a bib?" or some smart-a** comment too depending on her reaction. I also have been using the "wipe something off their shirt/face" such as a piece of lint. I've done that one about 5 times in the past few days. I give high fives to a few girls I see regularly. But those girls are probably long gone, and have LJBF me in their mind since I've known them for 2+ years and never made a move. They don't know it's because of depression/anxiety...and lately I've become a new person so maybe their opinion will change. That's about it though. With new girls, kino is alright but I can't put my arm around them or hold their hand right away, it's still too awkward. Hopefully the more I try it the more natural it will feel.

    Anyway does anyone have any tips/stories on when they first started with game and especially kino? I've read a bunch of articles so I know how important it is to implement it often.

  2. #2
    Sitfab's Avatar
    Sitfab is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I suck at talking to girls

    To me, conversation wasn't a problem at all. So I can help you out.

    Tell stories that don't necesarily have all the details in them. For example. "I remember this one time I've done (insert stuff here) in Italy". Or "when I was working on my car....." Leave unanswered questions, they'll bring it up to you later.

    You can ask her questions about herself, but not in a chode-y way. Like don't ask her "so, where do you work?" and shit like that. Instead ask "natural avalanche" questions, like "I like this shirt, where did you bought it?"/"Do you always shop there?"/"They look good on you, I wonder how you'd look elegant(or whatever).

  3. #3
    xavier's Avatar
    xavier is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: I suck at talking to girls

    bro i'de just like to say that i was where u are now about 6 month ago u won't beleive how much pu helped save my life (i was suicidale) i'm still not that good at it but still it's better than nothing. oh and stifab u always have great straight to the point posts keep it up!

  4. #4
    Sitfab's Avatar
    Sitfab is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I suck at talking to girls

    Thanks, xavier. I appreciate it very much.

  5. #5
    Obsideo's Avatar
    Obsideo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I suck at talking to girls

    Damn I feel like you stole my exact story. I am pretty much in the same boat that you are, good with texting/Facebook and not necessarily bad in person, but I just need to amp up the conversation.

    A tactic that I like to use is to sit at home and sort of plan out conversations. Pick 5-10 different subjects/stories (This one time I went to visit my aunt in Florence and I found out she makes some really cool shirts). Then just start working on ways to reference that story in on a normal conversation (The reason I bring that up is because I swear that she made that shirt that you're wearing, you don't happen to go to Florence often, do you?). And lastly just work out all the different ways to string that conversation to others (Shirt to clothes to her wanting to be a fashion designer to your career aspirations of being a musician to her taste in music, etc.) That way you can work in the boring questions of, "What music do you like?" and, "What is your dream job?" but they'll have relevance in your story.


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