How to attract girls - this challenge has occupied men since the beginnings of humanity. Cavemen collected food, warriors slayed bad guys, and artists painted masterpieces all in the name of getting nookie. But they all got it wrong. And men the world over continue to get it wrong to this day.
Not all men. 99% do not realize that this puzzle has been *solved*. The code has been cracked. We now know precisely how to attract women, on a biological gut-level. We?re not talking fleeting feelings here.
I?m on about the kind of deep emotional attraction women normally only feel for guys like rock stars, or film actors. Think screaming, crying, fainting Beatles fans - That?s what I?m talking about.
That?s what we can do now the code has been cracked, and more importantly, that?s what we can *teach* to anyone?
I know, because several years ago I was shown the beginnings of what I know now about attracting girls.
Trippy Flashback Alert?
I was at rock-bottom in my life. I had just finished University (voluntarily - I dropped out), and I was unemployed. I lived with my parents. I had very few friends, and I felt lonely and depressed. I seriously felt like my life had no purpose, no direction. I felt lost in the world.
I could not see it at the time but all of these problems were rooted in my inability to have ?success with women?. I was intimidated by women. I felt guilty for my feelings, like I didn?t deserve to even be looking at attractive women. All in all my life was pretty messed up, and my head was in a bad place. I was depressed because I was not being the person I knew deep inside myself I had the potential to be.
This all changed when I met someone who introduced me to the principles of approaching women, interacting with them, and getting them attracted to you. Cliche time - my *life changed*. I know it sounds cheesy and corny, but the truth is I went from depressed to seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
All of a sudden I found myself able to talk to women in public places. This was awesome on its own, but even better they were laughing, smiling and touching me - they actually *liked* me (and without even using pheromones!!!). They were *attracted to me*. To go from what I was before, to this, felt incredible.
Its like the film The Lion King (stick with me here
), where Simba?s Dad Mufasa is killed at the beginning, and you feel so sad, there is such a deep feeling of sorrow at the loss. Then the film progresses and Simba grows up, becomes a mature male Lion, and ends up avenging his father?s death and leading the pride. That emotional high that you feel at the end is a tiny sliver of what it feels like to experience this transformation in yourself. Loss and Redemption.
After this initial breakthrough, I progressed quickly and it wasn?t long before guys began going out with me, to learn from me. I showed guys casually these principles, and they started to have the same success with girls that I had experienced. One guy, Steven, went from a depressed, self-loathing, self-harming shell of a man to a confident ladies man, who constantly met women in real life, online, and had many girls at his work chasing him.
So, after much convincing by the guys I have helped. I?m putting a few of the principles I go by into written form, so that others can benefit from my experiences, learn from my failures and generally shorten their own learning curve.
You might think this includes showing people how to approach girls, how to attract girls and dating women, read on to find out how?
Sorry if things seem a bit haphazard. I?m not the best writer ever, and my mind sometimes wanders off into strange and mysterious places all by itself. I never really intended to write any of this stuff down. That said, let?s get into things - onwards!?
Three Kinds of Men - Which One Are You?
In my experience, there are three kinds of men (or ?stages of maturity? if you like), and each one falls into one of the patterns of behaviour below:
- The Unacknowledged Hero: Work Hard (job, etc) -> Get or Create Stuff -> Try To Impress Girls
- The Pickup Artist: Learn Loads of ?Lines?, ?Routines? and ?Techniques? -> Use Them -> Get Girls -> (usually) Feel Shallow and Like You Are ?Faking It?
- The Real Man: Develop Yourself as a Man -> Be Genuine (Attractive Behaviors Happen Naturally, Without Effort) -> Women Are Attracted To You Automatically
The Unacknowledged Hero: Work Hard (job, etc) -> Get or Create Stuff -> Impress Girls
The Unacknowledged Hero works really hard, usually has a great job, and the thought of impressing women with his prowess is at the forefront of his mind. Unacknowledged Heroes buy women chocolates, drinks, flowers, jewelery, and more. All in a futile attempt at getting a woman to like them, sexually.
They try to understand women from women?s perspective (reading Cosmo, etc.). They are nice to women, and will be the first to pipe up about sexism and equality. They think they are being genuine, but the hard truth is women don?t see it that way. This combination of material bribery (buying gifts, taking them out for meals, etc) and standing up for women only because they think it will get them into bed with them is seen by women as creepy and manipulative.
Women will use and take advantage of a guy like this, even though they know they shouldn?t really. And they will string them along with the promise of physical intimacy always just out of reach, getting drinks, rides place, meals out and more all paid for. All the while they have zero intention of ever doing anything physical with the guy, and if they were to tell you truthfully, they are kind of repulsed by them.
The Pick up Artist: Learn Loads of ?Lines? and ?Techniques? -> Use Them -> Get Girls -> (usually) Feel Shallow and Like You Are ?Faking It?
So one day our Unacknowledged Hero comes across some resources online that teach techniques for meeting women. He puts them to use and he gets great results. Six months down the line, he is getting girls consistently. He has become a player and is the envy of all external observers.
But inside he feels empty. He has said the same opening lines, stories and routines hundreds if not thousands of times. He feels like it is an effort to ?put on? his Pickup Artist personality. This leaves him feeling demotivated, drained and deeply unsatisfied. He wants girls to like him for himself, not for the stories and routines someone else came up with years ago. This is not living, its acting.
The Real Man: Develop Yourself as a Man -> Be Genuine (Attractive Behaviours Happen Naturally, Without Effort) -> Women Are Attracted To You Automatically
So the Pick up Artist takes a look at himself and realises (finally) that he has to get to the *real* bottom of things. And he realises that the real challenges lie deep within his own mind. The focus has to move from external ?techniques? to intrinsic principles, values and beliefs. All deeply held within his character. He does this, and all of a sudden he stops having to ?try? anymore or put on a song and dance show. He relaxes into just being a *Man*.
To others he looks like he has always been naturally good with women. He makes it look effortless, and for the most part, it is effortless. Each day he feels alive and fulfilled. Women are everywhere in his life, and he is truly happy.
Don?t Be The ?Pick up Artist?
Forget about what you are going to say or do to attract women for now. Lets focus on what is going on in your mind. You need to believe in what you are doing, and become the man that women will naturally find attractive. Everyone has this ?Alpha Male? quality inside them, it just has to be nurtured and developed.
How To Let Your Inner Man Shine Through
At the moment you Inner Man is like an animal that has been caged in a Zoo. It has not been well looked after, it is gaunt and its fur is patchy. The spirit has been beaten out of it over many years of abuse and banging against the bars in a vain effort to escape its prison. It?s time to unbolt the door to the cage and let the animal roam free. It?s time to stop trying to force yourself to be a leader, and just relax into it.
How do you recognise your Inner Man when it shows itself? How can you know when you are on track? Well, you could go and watch the Discovery Channel for a few hours and see the characteristics of the alpha male lion (Roar! - fun), or you could just keep reading as we delve into that aspect of mind known as being a Real Man.
Real men are:
- Decision Makers
- Picky and Choosy
- Always Surrounded by Plenty of Options
From now on, in any situation where other people are involved, you are the leader. Any group you are in, you will become the leader without thinking about it. Instantly you will become more attractive to women in the group, and outside the group.
You are the dominant person, everyone looks to you for what to do. You tell people what to do. You know best. If anyone else want to be the leader, they must challenge for it. In the animal kingdom, this results in a fight. With civilised, sober humans, this (almost always) happens verbally. You stand up for what you believe in, and you will admit when you made a mistake, but you do not apologise for it - you acted to the best of your abilities and knowledge at the time.
Part of leadership involves you being decisive. Being decisive is a result of having strong Values. The stronger and more clear your values are, the quicker you will make decisions. Work on developing and becoming intricately familiar with your values (this is a big enough subject for a whole other post, but do some digging around, there are resources online that can help, as can books on NLP
). You have this mentality when you are with women. You make decisions and act quickly in situations involving both of you.
Lots of Options
A Real Man is choosy, picky. This comes from the fact that he has lots of options. Having lots of option comes from seeing possibilities everywhere, while everyone else sees only chaos.
Start believing all women are attracted to you. You have options. All women are into you, you are doing the selecting. You have an air of confidence, coming from the belief that you can meet and attract any women you want. This confidence *will be noticed* (consciously or unconsciously) by women. They are biologically hard-wired to pick up on very subtle cues.
Stop Caring What Other People Think Of You. Get out of your own head. Get rid of that need for others? approval. Its time to grow into a mature man. A man that only requires approval from himself. If you think it is good, it *is* good. This might be the most important point of this whole post.
Be it people you know or people you don?t, it does not matter. This is especially important when it comes to women. When you approach you will be confident because you can have any women in the bar, club, supermarket etc. (as we talked about earlier).
If you ?balls it up? it does not matter. You can go around the next corner and there will be ten more women right there ready to be approached.
Who really cares what happens to you? Do these strangers give a shit about your life? No. But you do, and I do too. So listen when I say stop caring what other random people think of you, and let your Real Man shine through. Stop worrying what people think, and start making the rules yourself.
Listen to some Rage Against The Machine. Start standing up for yourself. Give yourself permission to do the things you?ve always wanted, as long as they are *legal*
- anything?s fair game. Stop waiting for someone to tell you everything is ok, and just get on with it.
Filling The Void
The problem is too many people want to learn techniques as a replacement for genuine value in themselves. They are the magic bullets that provide the instant gratification we all desire. Granted, techniques and lines allow you to go out and approach women straight away. The problems stem from the fact that you, like anything in life, must believe in what you are doing. You must think and feel like a Real Man in order to become a Real Man.
Take a professional sportsman for example. Every one of them believes they are, or can be, the best, and that they *will win*. Any thoughts of losing are banished as soon as they spring into existence in the athlete?s mind. This is the attitude you have when interacting with women: I Can Have, and Deserve, Any Woman I Desire.
I?ll end with one of my favourite quotes of all time. As, the fabled Rick H, speaking at David DeAngelo?s Advanced Dating Techniques seminar said, ?It?s Something I Am, Not Something I Do?.
Hope you enjoyed reading ?How to attract girls?. Now stop trying and start being!