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  1. #1
    twmcfarl is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default at club and clueless

    Hey I have been going out to this local club called the Venue in St. Petersburg FL, and when I get there with my friends, I have no idea what to do. I see people talking to girls and I feel completely lost. No idea what I'm supposed to do or say. My friends can talk to girls, I can't. When I try to dance with them, they give me a nasty look. It sucks.

  2. #2
    Mr8Hyde6's Avatar
    Mr8Hyde6 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: at club and clueless

    Sounds like you might have confidence issues (inner game specifically) and also Approach Anxiety.
    Observe your buddies and what they do. Heck, mooch off them for a bit and strike up conversation with them. My one best bud does this to me, and I don't mind. It helps him build up his confidence. He still has aa though.

    In regards to establishing a stronger inner game, you have to just go out and try. The only way to build up your confidence is accepting that a) you will fail at times - more than often at first, and b) you have nothing to lose. Once you accept those two, you can easily just become better at approaching and controlling what is going around you.

  3. #3
    Mr8Hyde6's Avatar
    Mr8Hyde6 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: at club and clueless

    Practice with complete strangers with no intention of anything being returned. Such as, you see a cute girl working at a store, ask her opinion on something. Strike up a tiny conversation and leave it at that. Then, repeat. Do this over and over. You could even start off by, next time you buy something, just smile politely at that sales employee or cashier, thank her, and just see how recepetive she is to your body language. Body language is key to a lot of everything that comes forward. If you are able to control your body language, ie, looking confident and at ease, people become more open to you.

    I have a buddy of mine that used the same openers I use. He got turned down. I approach another set with the same opener, and they just start talking. (BTW, there are hundreds of openers you can use. The best is to just read a few, practice them, and then eventually you can be good at just creating ones on the spot or altering ones you know to the situation). The reason why I am good at opening is because I come across as confident, nice, and charming. I don't look creepy or weird. My friend needs a little practice. So.. my advice, go out and just practice. You truly have NOTHING to lose.

  4. #4
    SPIRIT is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: at club and clueless

    Dude, you're from St. Pete? Me too! I'm sorry I can really help you as much as you like because I pretty new at this stuff too but from what I'm learning it's all about confidence. Just walk random people in the club and start talking to them (guys/girls whatever) and talk to them about how packed or dead the club is (i've never been to Venue but I go to Durty Nelly's sometimes). Then compare it to other clubs. Talk about how lame or great the music is. Just keep doing that with every set (or group of people) eventually everyone will know you and you can eventually build up enough confidence to talk specifically to girls. Also what Mr8Hyde6 said...use your friends! At Durty Nelly's they do this dance called the "wop". My two cousins are masters at it so before we went the next time I ask them to show me it and they did. Then when everyone start doin the wop I was all in. After that I just did the two-step (cause I'm a less than stellar dancer) and girls start approachig me and asking me how to do the wop. So ask you friend what do they do to get chicks or when they start talking to a group of girls put your two cents in. Like I said I'm not the best at this so that's the only advice I can give you.


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