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  1. #1
    RocketMan Guest

    Question I am an OK flirt... but I want to flirt like a master. Help!

    I think I am a decent flirt, but some guys I know are so amazing at flirting and they do it all the time. I think it would really help my game to be a better flirt. I try to copy some of what they do, but it just doesn't feel right for me.

    Any help?

  2. #2
    MPUA Steve's Avatar
    MPUA Steve is offline Administrator
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    First off - do you know how to flirt? Flirting is an essential skill to have at your disposal when interacting with women. It creates Tension, and this tension leads to attraction. If you can flirt with women then you can make them attracted to you.

    Flirting techniques are a learn-able skill. Attraction is an unconscious response. Think about this for a second: Did you choose to be attracted to the curvy athletic brunette at the bar, or did the attraction response happen in your body without any assistance from your mind?

    Attraction is an Emotion.

    This is an important distinction to make. Attraction cannot be ‘earned’ by the buying of gifts, or the doing of favours. These behaviours do not create emotional responses in women beyond, ‘that was nice’.

    What we’re going after here is significantly stronger than mild enjoyment, and significantly cheaper to do. Attraction is not logical. There is no thought-process involved in attraction. This confuses men and women, and leads to many of the common misconceptions both sexes have about what makes the other attracted to them. The emotion of attraction comes first. Only once attraction has taken control of a woman’s body, does her logical mind start to kick in with thoughts like, ‘I like this guy because he has dark hair.’ and so on. The truth is, the emotion causes the logical reasons in her mind.

    This is what psychology calls ‘backwards rationalization’. It is the same mechanism that is at work when you make a major purchase. You buy the new massive TV because it is awesome, and it makes you feel great, you desire it. After you have decided to buy, your mind will kick in with reasons like, ‘It has excellent picture quality; the contrast ratio is great, etc.’ Really it was this emotion called ‘desire’ (or ‘attraction’) that compelled you to ultimately make the decision to purchase.

    So by following this flirting guide, you are able to demonstrate that you are an attractive man to women. They will be attracted to you, and there will be nothing they can do about it.

    This is powerful stuff, and under no circumstances must it be used to manipulate or deceive, or really bad shit will happen to you. I’ve seen it go down. You have been warned.

    The Art of Flirting
    Flirting is an art form, and there are several components. When it comes down to it, the best flirting advice is really all about attitude. If you have the right attitude, and you get in the ‘zone’, then the right things to say just magically happen. You don’t need lines, or scripts, or routines. You just play jazz.

    And on the other hand, no amount of flirting tips (or dating advice for men in general) will compensate for not having the right attitude and beliefs in the first place. The first thing to get down pat is your body language. By this I mean specifically:

    * Make strong eye contact. Not 100% of the time, but enough to let her know that you are not afraid to show your dominance. This is attractive.
    * Smile with your eyes. This is that subtle slight scrunching of the muscles around your eyes. This conveys playfulness, and that is what flirting is all about.
    * Do the Cheeky Grin. This is where you do a subtle smile using only one side of your mouth.

    Now, we need to establish the right beliefs to be successful when flirting. The first, and probably most important belief to have is what is called the Abundance Mentality.

    There are millions, even hundreds of millions of women out there. This one in front of you right now, although beautiful and unique in her own way, is ultimately replaceable. If she walks off, there is another woman right around the corner to take her place. She is not special to you by right. Being special to you is something that has to be earned. If you demonstrate this attitude, your attractiveness will skyrocket.

    The abundance mentality leads directly on to not caring what your outcome is. It simply pales into insignificance. All pressure is removed. You just don’t give a shit, and go balls out.

    If she walks off, so what? If she laughs at you, does it really matter in the grand scheme of things? Of course not. Adopt this mentality, and your courage (a highly attractive trait) will be boosted immensely. There is no such thing as failure, only feedback. This is a principle taken from NLP. If you stay as impartial to the interaction as possible, and analyze what happened from an emotional ‘distance’. Then you will have learned where perhaps you went wrong, so you can avoid repeating the same mistake in future.

    Learn from your mistakes.

    The Key Ingredient To Flirting

    Now that your inner-game is up to speed, let’s look at a concept that is at the very core of tips on flirting.

    Frames. Frames are the context of an interaction. If you go to a car dealership, and a salesman approaches you, the frame of the interaction is that the dealer is going to attempt to sell you a car. Frames exist in every interaction between people. Most people don’t even know they exist, and just blindly grope their way through life. This is not going to be you.

    Once you recognize that frames exist, the next step is to communicate in such a way that you set the frame. This is incredibly powerful, and is called ‘Re-framing’. Of all the dating tips that exist, this has the potential to be the most powerful for generating attraction. This is how to get girls.

    Think for a moment about the standard frame would apply when a man approaches a woman in a bar. The frame is, the man is trying to pick up the woman. This frame gives all the power to the woman to say, ‘No’. Furthermore, it is the same kind of thing she has to deal with every single day of her life. It is boring to her. And boredom kills attraction dead.

    So the secret, is to take the bull by the horns and re-frame the interaction yourself. In order for this to be most effective, for a number of reasons, the best strategy is to re-frame your interaction so that your roles are reversed.

    She becomes the one that is trying to win your affections and approval. This is the keystone of flirting.

    Anything that women find unattractive that men do, apply it to her. Re-frame her behavior and what she says into one of the following frames:

    * She is trying to chase you.
    * She is a pervert.
    * She is naive.
    * She is pretty dumb.
    * She is socially inept.
    * She is trying to act cool, but really she is a bit strange.
    * She is desperate.
    * She doesn’t understand men.
    * She is a badly behaved girl, and needs to be told off (like you are her daddy).

    Misinterpret their language and behavior in such a way that it reinforces these frames. Take it as far as you can. Build the tension like crazy. Don’t let up, or say, “Just kidding.” As this releases all the built up tension. Tension is how you get on a girl’s mind, and stay there.

    Remain playful at all times.

    Important note:- You need to be mean with your words, but loving with your attitude. This is all a game to you. Different women will react differently to varying degrees of verbal sparring. If you take things too far, you run the risk of appearing to be an asshole. You don’t want to push it so far as that you properly offend her. This isn’t good for attraction.

    She needs to be able to pick up, on some subtle level, that you are only playing with her. You do this mostly with the non-verbal cues I mentioned above, the cheeky grin, etc. She’ll know by the glint in your eye that this confrontation is only for play, and is not serious.

    A good sign that you are on the right track is when she starts coming back at you with her own banter. This is great, the tension skyrockets. And it is great fun too. Nothing beats a healthy bit of verbal sparring. Get out there and have a go yourself.

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