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  1. #11
    MrPieMan82 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: difference between talking and flirting

    Quote Originally Posted by The Red Baron View Post
    That is a better question. Someone put a good post up on a list of IOIs. Look for it and review it to help understand indications of your progress

    In general you flirt or reward a girl with Kino / move forward with numbers after SHE has done something of value (not when you have) in this way you reinforce the sense that you are interested in her because she is cool / smart / funny and not just for the heck of it

    Alright, I'm at the point where I can pretty much recognize when a girl is flirting with me. Now, I'm understanding that flirting is more about your tone and body language than exactly what you say. Flirting is done to build rapport? So you open, build rapport and then what?

  2. #12
    In The Tropics's Avatar
    In The Tropics is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: difference between talking and flirting

    Quote Originally Posted by MrPieMan82 View Post
    Sarcasm is difficult to detect over the Internet. I seriously meant that in a "what do you mean?" sense. I figured that knowing how to flirt with a girl is an actual part real game. Honestly, I know about everything you just mentioned but I do have trouble figuring out exactly when to do what and how to transition. Because of that, I tend to open and then lose control of the conversation.

    I understand. What steps do you get caught at? Hooking the set, or isolating your target, or do you run out of material?

    I am just trying to see where you feel like you get tied up so that I can tell you some things that work for me in that scenario.

    One thing that I am going to start doing that I have read about is making a cheat sheet of different routines that you can fall back on as a reminder. Similar to an outline. It would be easy to scan a piece of paper real quick without your target knowing what you are doing.

    What literature have you read on these steps? There are definitive techniques that you can learn to improve steps you are struggling with as well.
    There is no such thing as rejection, only feedback.

    Be the flame, not the moth.

  3. #13
    MrPieMan82 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: difference between talking and flirting

    Quote Originally Posted by In The Tropics View Post
    I understand. What steps do you get caught at? Hooking the set, or isolating your target, or do you run out of material?

    I am just trying to see where you feel like you get tied up so that I can tell you some things that work for me in that scenario.

    One thing that I am going to start doing that I have read about is making a cheat sheet of different routines that you can fall back on as a reminder. Similar to an outline. It would be easy to scan a piece of paper real quick without your target knowing what you are doing.

    What literature have you read on these steps? There are definitive techniques
    that you can learn to improve steps you are struggling with as well.
    I don't know exactly what hooking a set would be but here's what I do:

    Open
    Attempt to build rapport
    I usually get ioi's and now I know how to flirt so I would do that
    Next? I don't know...help me?

  4. #14
    In The Tropics's Avatar
    In The Tropics is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: difference between talking and flirting

    Quote Originally Posted by MrPieMan82 View Post
    I don't know exactly what hooking a set would be but here's what I do:

    Open
    Attempt to build rapport
    I usually get ioi's and now I know how to flirt so I would do that
    Next? I don't know...help me?

    What do you do as far as "building rapport?" You need to do things that show preselection and social proof. So if you are talking to a set, you need to include everyone in the conversation and not just zone in on your target. That way you can diffuse the obstacles and work to Isolate your target.

    If you diffuse the obstacles and the other people in the group like you, you can then say "Hey I have been ignoring your friend, do you mind if I steal her for a second?" Usually they will tell you its up to the girl and she will most likely comply if her friends like you.


    Always have a quiet place in the venue prepared in your mind where you can isolate the target to. Like maybe an outside patio, or a quieter place if it is loud.


    You also need to work to Number Close and kiss close the girls that you are working on. If you can isolate her it makes this a lot easier.
    There is no such thing as rejection, only feedback.

    Be the flame, not the moth.

  5. #15
    Mystic's Avatar
    Mystic is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: difference between talking and flirting

    Flirting is playful communication between people suggestive of sexual awareness and interest. As a few posters before me have already mentioned, it often involves sustained eye contact, lots of smiling, entering each others personal space, and playfulness/teasing to create sexual Tension (and if you're doing it right, with her giggling/laughing as a result to release some of the tension). Flirting will often happen naturally between two people interested in each other who are relaxed and comfortable enough to enjoy the communication. A particularly useful Mindset is to perceive flirting as verbal foreplay, as this may help smooth the path to physical intimacy.

    -mystic, nyc

    "I am in favor of preserving the French habit of kissing ladies' hands - after all, one must start somewhere." ~Sacha Guitry

  6. #16
    MrPieMan82 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: difference between talking and flirting

    Quote Originally Posted by In The Tropics View Post
    What do you do as far as "building rapport?" You need to do things that show preselection and social proof. So if you are talking to a set, you need to include everyone in the conversation and not just zone in on your target. That way you can diffuse the obstacles and work to Isolate your target.

    If you diffuse the obstacles and the other people in the group like you, you can then say "Hey I have been ignoring your friend, do you mind if I steal her for a second?" Usually they will tell you its up to the girl and she will most likely comply if her friends like you.


    Always have a quiet place in the venue prepared in your mind where you can isolate the target to. Like maybe an outside patio, or a quieter place if it is loud.


    You also need to work to Number Close and kiss close the girls that you are working on. If you can isolate her it makes this a lot easier.
    I'll pretty much try to find things that connect us. For example, the last girl I spoke was in a bowling league and she was into martial arts. At one time I was in a bowling league and I'm into martial arts, so I threw in a few jokes and spoke about that. The targets are always alone. I know what preselection is but not quite sure how to go about showing it.


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