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Thread: She gets mad when you with hold info?

  1. #1
    kstud is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default She gets mad when you with hold info?

    I have been with holding any info that is known as a common boring topic that AFL's use. Mainly when she asks about what I do for a living and where I went to school.

    The last two sets didnt want to talk anylonger when I would not provide this info. I said peace next. Any ideas when they truly get mad?

    Other girl said "I hate when people do that". How could I have pushed her? Should I have made her give me a back rub or something?

  2. #2
    bigmig is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She gets mad when you with hold info?

    You can tell them what you do but first have fun with it. So if a gir asks what i do i say " I'm employee of the month at Taco Bell." Or "I'm a lion tamer". I prefer the Taco bell one it always work well for me cuz i can usually pull a number or date from it. After you have some fun with it and have her laughing then you can say what you do. It shows that you weren't some AFC who responds to her command but that you do respect her question.

  3. #3
    AnaM is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She gets mad when you with hold info?

    If you don't want them to know what you do for a living, just say anything you want. You can make it into a joke or even ask her what she thinks you do for a living.

  4. #4
    CHASladykiller is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She gets mad when you with hold info?

    I agree with the above guys. All you had to do was make up something and be silly about it. One of the points of withholding info is also to keep her on her toes, be mysterious. Make it so she can't figure you out. of course once u get into deep rapport I think these things are okay to reveal.

  5. #5
    CHASladykiller is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She gets mad when you with hold info?

    For school, u can say " I didn't go to school. My mom home schooled me and breast fed me til I was 18"

    For work, u can say "I work in my family's business. My dad's a butcher, my bro is a baker, and I'm the candlestick maker" ( its from a nursery rhyme)

  6. #6
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    Autismus is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: She gets mad when you with hold info?

    Quote Originally Posted by kstud View Post

    Other girl said "I hate when people do that". How could I have pushed her? Should I have made her give me a back rub or something?
    No, don't go for a back rub when her friend is ALREADY p1ssed off at you.

    They get mad when you withold the basic gettin-to-know-you information because it is the opposite of comfort-building. Telling them what you do, where you're from etc lets them form an identity and become comfortable with you (not to mention attracted to your identity). Withholding those details tells them either "you don't get to know who I am, but we're gonna fark later I hope" or "I don't feel comfortable enough in my identity to not be self conscious about it."

    Not to worry though:...

    Here's one way to:

    DON'T tell her what you do
    while you
    DO answer her question in a way that sculpts an attractive identity.

    Let's say I'm an insurance salesman from rural Luisianna. If you say "I'm from Luisianna, I sell insurance." the the identity she hears is "boring - maybe goes to Mardi Gras"

    One thing you can do is have her guess what you do or where you're from by describing elements of your job or hometown.
    "...my clients are less concerned about the future than those who are not my clients..."
    "...at my office people bet on their own futures..."
    "...I sell peace of mind..."
    "...I wouldn't want to go swimming in a lake near my home town..."
    "...English is not the only official language of my state (I dunno, maybe French or Creol??)..."

    point is - give her hints that describe your job - that crafts a picture of WHAT you do, not just what your job is CALLED.

    Another thing you can do is straight out of the Mystery Method. When she asks you what you do or where you went to school stack to a story about when you were a kid what you wanted to be when you grew up - what you encountered throughout your life that influenced your choices (always positive and dhv) and how you eventually ended up where you are. Use lots of mulit-threads (interesting them in a side topic, following it a bit, but leaving it unfinished) to keep them interested.

    You can also use the "It's hard to describe what I do," and then just describe your job if you have multiple duties that don't necessarily fall into one easily recognizable category.
    Also: "It's hard to describe my home town: In Florida but not at the beach, in North Dakota but fairly liberal, In Iowa but there's no corn... in [name a state] but it's not [name the steryotipical city in that state]. Then elaborate. Savy?

    I hope these help, I've generally found that witholding information is a sign of being uncomfortable in your own skin - big dlv. Better to permit her access to your world and frame it so her mind gets blown by what she finds.
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

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    Default Re: She gets mad when you with hold info?

    Um...i don't understand autismus ... your basically doing what the other posters have said. You are revealing the info on your own terms. Your not just telling them right away (which is AFC).

    Anyway...talking is like chess. If u tell your opponent what your moves are, your game is over. He already knows your arsenal, but its your superior strategy that makes the difference.

    A woman will judge u on ANYTHING... the more info you give, the more she can disqualify u. Give her your info ON YOUR OWN TERMS. Insert it in the convo naturally. Dont just give it up when she asks for it. That gives her more reason to disqualify u AND shows that u will allow yourself to be controlled.

    Ex HB: So what do u do?
    Me: Secret agent (serious face)
    HB: really?
    Me: yeah its cool. Gotta change me ident every six months but... oh wait, you have to call me Karl now...

    If your serious, she wont be sure about u and will play along. Change topic into something fun. Later on, you can mention your job if its appropriate to do so (ex. You talk about travel and your job allows you to travel so you could mention it. But YOU DON'T HAVE TO mention it at all).

    The main point: Allow her to like you before u tell her things that may disqualify you. If you attract properly from the start, you can have the worst job in the world and it won't matter. She will already be hooked.

    Starting out in comfort mode is a bad idea in PUA (i believe if anyone can confirm ty)
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


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    Default Re: She gets mad when you with hold info?

    This can be a tricky one sometimes.
    It depends on how long you've been talking with her.

    If it's only been a couple minutes, and a girl asks me that question, I'll take a comedic approach & say something like,
    "I'm a freelance mortician... it's not nearly as glamorous as it sounds though." And I'll have a semi-serious look on my face, but with a little glint in my eyes that lets her know I'm absolutely making that up.

    Then I'll laugh & nudge her or lightly backhand slap/flick her on the arm, and tell her what I really do.
    But I don't go on & on about it. I just mention it & quickly switch topics to something more fun.

    I don't want to get stuck in the everyday chit-chat in the beginning. (Save that for building rapport.)


    But flat out withholding info about what you do for work, MIGHT make her think you're unemployed.

    When you're flirting / building attraction you want to keep everything light, as far as conversation goes. Because; it's not about the "conversation" at that point. It's about flipping attraction switches & piquing her curiosity.

    Body language is more important than anything else in this phase.

    You don't want to express neediness at all!
    So giving her too much "positive/direct" body language tells her she doesn't have to work very hard to get you.... there's no challenge.

    Girls thrive on that challenge, which is what makes them begin chasing YOU & trying to qualify herself to you.

    I agree with Autismus about the back rub thing being a bad idea. That would have been interpreted as "needy" & "try hard" at that moment.

    Always keep the word "FUN" in your mind when you're talking to girls.
    FUN is the ultimate attraction switch.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.


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