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  1. #1
    danny97 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How the heck do I start approach?

    Hey guys, I really need your help here and some real advice from experience. A litte history about me...I'm decent/good looking, in shape, 28yrs old. I've never been able to approach in my lifetime...maybe the odd times here and there but very rarely. I get extremely nervous and fidgety, I don't know what to say, and I hate looking foolish and like an idiot if i'm rejected in a terrible manner. My actual relationships i've been in, I was picked up by the girls. I was in a 8 years relationship and 3 mths after that ended, I was in a 2 year relationship. So basically from 18-28 i've been in relationships. I now just want to get into pick up and meet a lot of hot girls. I got into online dating in the past couple of months and picked up like 20-25 girls without any problems. I met up with half of them and fclosed all of them by the 2nd date. My game is good over the phone, text and in person, but I have extreme difficulties getting the numbers and dates in person which is what I want to accomplish. I decided to stop online dating because i'm sick of it...my game is not improving one bit (where I want improvement), and all of the girls i've met have been -2HB in comparisson to the pics. So if I see an HB8 online, they're really an HB6 when I see them in person...and the same principles apply for all...so I can never meet an actual HB online, they're all uglier and fatter in person lol sorry to be so blunt...but it's been disappointing.

    So I now want to get into daygame and nightgame. I've been researching hot spots in my area and I found a couple of good areas for daygame along with nightgame (excluding clubs). I put myself in those spots in the past week to analyze and maybe do something...and for the life of me I couldn't grow any balls to approach. I was at a coffee shop yesterday and I saw a big group of 6 but I thought to myself, that's like feeding myself to the wolves...I think it's impossible to approach a huge set like that, am I wrong? How would I even open them? In a coffee shop environment, I feel that people are there to catch up with each other..would I not fail if I attempted to approach by pissing them off, interrupting there conversations, or should I not care? That's how I look and think about it...so I never approach. I saw a couple of small sets in the coffee shop but I just couldn't approach.
    Last night, I was in a bar/lounge. The place was busy, maybe 60/40% ration guys to girls. 90% of the girls were HB9 and up. I was trying to get eye contact from a lot of them but they looked overly snobby and into themselves...I couldn't get eye contact back from any of them...they also had a facial reaction like if you even attempt to approach me i'll bite your head off lol. Is this normal for HB9s and up? Most groups at this bar were in groups of 4, 5, 6...no small groups...and like I said, the groups were full of HB9 and 10s. How can I approach such a group like this with confidence? What do I even talk about when opening? Do I need a wing to help? Also, last night...I witnessed a 2 set just sitting at the bar table looking at guys, bored out of there minds so I figured, maybe that the perfect set to open bc it actually looked like they wanted to be approached with the looks they were giving..I got eye contact from them multiple times...I was actually planning on going for it until 5 guys sat the there table (actual friends), so I thought it was a bit weird that they were doing that...not sure if I just read them the wrong way maybe...

    I want to also bring up something I did last month to try and get over my Approach Anxiety and issues (had a few drinks in me though, was the only way). I read a situation opener from gambler and I tried it with a 4 set. I was analyzing myself and I was terrible...I was again nervous, fidgety, wasn't standing firm, voice was crackling and I stumbled on a few words from nervousness, eye contact was ok, was moving around too much and my arms were everywhere...it was just bad. What's funny is that when I asked a friend how I did, he said you looked great..I know I didn't and these guys are not into pickup so they don't know much...I know and felt all my farkups. The opener also went dead in the water b/c I got them talking about themselves for 15 mins and then I had no where to go with after because they were giving advice on the situational opener. I moved to a lounge booth which fits more people and invited them up but they declined b/c they were catching up...I didn't know any other way to escalate. That was the first time I ever opened a group in my life and it kind of went really bad...scared me a bit too lol

    I've been reading a lot around here and I also paid for gamblers pickupartistuniversi ty...i'm 7 mths in and watched all of the videos but it's not helping..

    Anyway, hope I didn't write too much...wish someone can offer some advice for the next time I go out..

    Thanks guys

  2. #2
    Virgil's Avatar
    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: How the heck do I start approach?

    The HB9's which look like they're going to bite your head off don't want you to approach, because you were staring at them. At least that's how they feel if you try to make eye contact all the time. You can approach if you happen to make contact incidentally, but staring is creepy.

    Furthermore, try opening single girls first. Then move on to sets when you've mastered that and no longer feel fear when you do so.



    As for approaching:

    One way to start approaching is by just saying 'hi' to every pretty girl you see from now on. It doesn't matter if you know her or not. You'll see that they respond well, and even if they don't, it's because they have a bad day or are not someone you want to talk to anyways. Keep doing so until you feel completely comfortable doing that. Then move on to making small talk with random HB's you don't know. Same ritual. Then start opening with flirts, etc.

    Another way is to just throw yourself in. In 'The Game' there is a post on Mystery's Lounge of a guy called Adonis, I think. He decided to get rid of his aa by approaching 100 women in a single day. He made 125, and went to sleep that night with MAD confidence. It takes some balls, but it'll be worth it.

    These are known ways. I need to do so myself too, though. I have AA and oneitis, and decided to start approaching January 1st. New year, new beginning. And by that time I'll have incorporated some of the PUA books I'm reading. Setting a certain 'deadline' allows me to prepare and let my mind flow into it.

  3. #3
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    xavier is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: How the heck do I start approach?

    Great post VirgJans u covered everything u're getting rep for that

  4. #4
    Virgil's Avatar
    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: How the heck do I start approach?

    Thanks
    And I accepted your request.

  5. #5
    danny97 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How the heck do I start approach?

    Thanks a lot! appreciate it

  6. #6
    TheRemixXx is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How the heck do I start approach?

    I see a few things wrong here Danny. VirgJans already covered what you need to do to improve your game so I'm just gonna stick on what you did wrong.
    Your confidence is way too low. You need to walk inside that bar thinking that you are the sh1t if you don't think you are then "fake it until you make it"
    You are raising those girls way too high up like they're goddesses. There is no HB10 unless she's been photoshopped. When you're oppening up a set you need to understand that you are the ALPHA MALE you are giving then a chance to get to know you. Lead the conversation make sure you talk about interesting topics, neg them (especially the one you want to zoom in on), us the PUSH AND PULL technique, Kino. Keep a firm and confident body language (that's what i meant by "fake it") without the confidence nothing matters.
    That girl you are the most interested in when you are opening up a set is the one you shall talk to the least when you first open the convo. Make it look like you are more into the girl next to her and try to push her away a little and pay attention to her reactions until you feel safe enough to go for the kill.
    Like Virg said you should progressively practice you're PUA skills until you reach to the top or you will be desapointed quick and trust me it won't take you long. The human body is highly adaptable physically and mentally.
    Just remember be clean and be confident because you are the Alpha Male the earth rotates around you. (don't be cocky though just confident)
    Hope that helped


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