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  1. #1
    joeboarder14 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How Do I Counteract Insults?

    One of the biggest issues I run into while I am talking to a girl, is when she uses something I commonly use on her, a neg.

    Of course if is good to tease or feed women Neg's, and sometimes that these have been used on me. There have been several times I am talking to to a woman, and she comments on something about me, or something I am wearing out of the nowhere.

    I know this is a test to see how I handle the immediate criticism, or to make her feel slightly superior. The issue I run into is I freeze up, which is NOT what you should do in these situations, or I sometimes laugh it off, or make it into a joke. The issue with handling it like this, is it makes me feel like a little Btch, as if I am agreeing with her.

    Is there any ideas on how I can handle this? How can I reverse it? How can I handle it with such a confidence it doesn't make me feel like I just "took" it?

    I would appreciate all inputs. Thanks.

    -Joe

  2. #2
    Virgil's Avatar
    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: How Do I Counteract Insults?

    Actually you should just laugh it off and take it. An insult is a test to see whether or not you're secure enough of yourself to take it without being insulted. Teasing her back (with a smile on your face) or laughing at it are great ways to counter it. You're doing the right thing. And you should feel good when she negs you. It means she's testing you, so there is interest and a foundation for the future.

  3. #3
    joeboarder14 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How Do I Counteract Insults?

    Quote Originally Posted by VirgJans12 View Post
    Actually you should just laugh it off and take it. An insult is a test to see whether or not you're secure enough of yourself to take it without being insulted. Teasing her back (with a smile on your face) or laughing at it are great ways to counter it. You're doing the right thing. And you should feel good when she negs you. It means she's testing you, so there is interest and a foundation for the future.
    That is kind of what I figured. I never look at it like it is a compliment, but I guess you right. That obviously means she is interested and is testing me. I guess the best defense would be to have something I observed about her on the back burner just in case(I will obviously deliver it as a joke back). I appreciate it man.

    -Joe

  4. #4
    Killian is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How Do I Counteract Insults?

    Actually, you can just hit her back with anything, manipulating and utilizing your situation and environment to your advantage.

    You'll appear light-hearted, cool, a quick thinker, unpredictable and fun to be around with

    Digging too deep or using something too personal may strike a fragile chord and she may get uncomfortable

  5. #5
    joeboarder14 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How Do I Counteract Insults?

    Quote Originally Posted by Killian View Post
    Actually, you can just hit her back with anything, manipulating and utilizing your situation and environment to your advantage.

    You'll appear light-hearted, cool, a quick thinker, unpredictable and fun to be around with

    Digging too deep or using something too personal may strike a fragile chord and she may get uncomfortable
    I'll keep that in mind. Thanks man.

    -Joe

  6. #6
    CHASladykiller is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How Do I Counteract Insults?

    yeah, what all the guys above said. Just remember to be non-reactive. Let it go right thru you, or pretend u didnt even hear it. Change the topic and take back control of the convo or situation. haha you know, just seem completely aloof to what she just said, its a total test

  7. #7
    Suave Kino's Avatar
    Suave Kino is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How Do I Counteract Insults?

    Ok, I am going to disagree with the previous posters a little bit. Yes, you can absorb the hit and ignore it, but I believe there is a far more powerful method of dealing with an insult. Steal it and run with it take it to the extreme, make it a better joke than he or she ever could have. This is a powerful dhv. This displays extreme confidence and lowers thier value in respect to you. It's one of my favorite techniques.

    For example, she says "You wear a lot of jewlery." You say, "You should see me next week, my Mr. T starter kit is gonna be in I'm gonna blinging my ass off."

    She says, "You dress really well, you're not gay are you." You say "The truth is I suspect I am. I accidently watched Twilight and loved it. I am bordering on "Super Gay." include (fake lisp).

  8. #8
    Quincythedgo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How Do I Counteract Insults?

    In a lot of cases you should confront the insult head-on and keep it the topic of conversation. Decide whether it was friendly or malicious first. Give them the burden of elaborating intelligently and make them defend what they just said to you. Sounding curious instead of bitter/insulted, ask them questions...Doesn't have to be exactly like this but to give you an idea..

    Restate to them what you just heard them say then:
    1. Why are they a credible source to make the comments they just made to you?
    2. Why does it bother them that they had to bring it up in the first place?
    3. What kind of solution do they have if any, or do they just like to make half-assed comments without being helpful?

    Follow up with your own opinion. It doesn't have to be a long-winded conversation. It could all take place within 20-30 seconds.

    This puts them back on the defensive, gives you time to think about a good comeback if needed, and more importantly it helps "clear the air" with them instead of holding pent-up resentment inside which is no bueno. Of course in some situations you just got to tell them to fk off.
    Last edited by Quincythedgo; 12-20-2011 at 04:13 PM.


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