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  1. #1
    discreteYP is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How do I pick up at places where I'm a regular

    So maybe it seems like a dumb question but here it is; I'm recently out of a relationship and just getting back into trying to meet women. I've been going to the same places (and there's a pretty good list) though to the point where I'm a regular who knows and is in with the bartenders, most of the staff and a lot of the other regular patrons. I don't frequent meat market or dance club places but prefer laid back environments (I dislike being packed in so close that it's impossible to move) like the bars I've been going to.

    There are several good looking women there but they all know me already and have never expressed any interest (but then, I wasn't looking for it since I was crazy about my girlfriend). SO here's the big question; how do you approach girls who already know you at bars where you're a regular or do I have to go to new bars or clubs or other environments to pick up?

  2. #2
    CHASladykiller is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How do I pick up at places where I'm a regular

    This is a no-brainer. Talk to them and YOU express interest. It's not the woman's place. The man initiates and leads the interaction, the woman paces it. Keep waiting around for a woman to show interest in you and you will be needing lots more hand lotion than you currently have.

  3. #3
    CHASladykiller is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How do I pick up at places where I'm a regular

    also, have you studied any aspect of the pickup game??

  4. #4
    discreteYP is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How do I pick up at places where I'm a regular

    Chas: Yeah, I have but I'm kind of starting over from scratch after having been out of it for a long time. Some of it is coming back to me but I still feel a bit clueless sometimes (2-3 year committed relationship and I lost my game).

    I guess I wasn't clear enough. I was mainly wondering how much of a barrier the fact that I've known most of these people personally for the past year and they know me is going to be since there's already some established ground working there instead of being able to start from the beginning with someone.

  5. #5
    CHASladykiller is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How do I pick up at places where I'm a regular

    Oh, I dont know man about that since its been a year of knowing these chicks socially. Your either hardcore friend zoned or aquaintence. hm, I can only theorize what to do from here since I've never tried to go backwards with girls I never hit on that i've known for a while. I say its time to start flirting, and doing things like gender role reversal and accusing them of trying to get in your pants. Try to establish yourself as a flirt, and create sexual Tension. I'd just lean into it too, give em that look, like "I know you want it, so come and get it!!!" Good luck.

  6. #6
    beenderew is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How do I pick up at places where I'm a regular

    you're obviously giving too many ioi's. you have to brush them off first. make them wonder why you're not paying attention to them. don't get stuck in the friend zone. you have to escalate rather quickly. i admit, it is more difficult for people you know and they may be offended. i myself have trouble with the friend zone. but if you seriously want to move out then slowly put on the heat. i tried getting out of the friend zone friday night with a girl and she jumped out like a frog being put into hot water. you have to put the frog in cold water and slowly heat the water to a boil so as the frog doesn't jump out. it's called stealth seduction. gambler has videos on youtube on stealth seduction with a very attractive and desirable woman. you can really see his game working on her. it's amazing. but, regularity helps build comfort. just create attraction. the seduction phase is longer with friends and should be anticipated. i'm from a small town and tried to establish Kino too quickly and she mistook that for seduction. some of this big city stuff is a little off but the game is universal.

  7. #7
    discreteYP is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How do I pick up at places where I'm a regular

    I'm actually known as a flirt. I get away, in fact, with saying some pretty outrageous things to most of these girls. Things that I have seen other guys get slapped or have drinks thrown in their face for. They're all comfortable with the flirting and tend to flirt back a lot. I'm not saying they're not interested, I was more wondering if picking up at places you're already known at is a barrier or not.

  8. #8
    beenderew is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How do I pick up at places where I'm a regular

    i'm not too sure. i did the game in college and there was always a new place. picked up one solid girl for two lays. but now i'm back home in a small town and the game is hard. you can definitely develop a bad reputation but i say all game is looked upon favorably to all men and only makes women jealous if they notice that you are hitting on other women. as far as it being a barrier...only if you have aa. which i doubt you do. perhaps you are going through the Manage Expectations phase.

  9. #9
    discreteYP is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How do I pick up at places where I'm a regular

    Interesting you bring up aa.

    I wouldn't say I have AA but I would say it's because I have generally never given a shit about any particular girl. If I'm not already interested beyond just her looks, I don't generally give a rat's ass. I don't go out with the specific intent of just getting laid (done that plenty of times, want more than just a fling) so AA isn't really an issue.

    I haven't tried picking up at these places since they already know me so it's not even about managing expectations. It's really just about figuring out if there is a barrier in that circumstance at all.. I'm thinking of trying to find some new places (kind of hard since I think found all the places that suit my preferences in this town) so I don't get a bad rep at my hangouts.

  10. #10
    beenderew is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How do I pick up at places where I'm a regular

    yeah i'm reading conquer your campus right now and if you're around college age then the game is totally different. try working on new girls. and if you really like the places you visit then don't do anything that will attract bad vibes. it's obvious you know more about this than me but being as i really only have one hangout i generally go for what's new and who i think i can improve relations with. though, the last time i got laid was in '07 when i was in college. filling out an application to go back. i think i can really master the social atmosphere that kept bringing me down those first few semesters. reputation is everything.


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