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  1. #1
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default My game is stuck...

    So I have met several attractive women over the past week, and in almost all cases I was able to get their attention, smiles, laughter and so forth almost immediately. In almost all cases I felt that I got a good vibe started from their body language. Here is an example last night at a restaurant while I was ordering, we had already established somewhat of a raport with a survey she wanted me to take to help out the restaurant.

    Me: Hey there, you look busy tonite
    Her: Yes, hold on a second (she walks over to the window and hands the food out and comes right back).
    Me: I filled out your survey, you owe me one (she smiles)
    Her: Thank you
    Me: Don't thank me, the place was trashed, the food was cold and skimpy, it was almost all 2's on the scale (she gives me a playful laugh and some positive body language, licking her lips, playing with her hair a bit. I pause for about 3 seconds then start back up) Especially that crappy service, it was awful. For sure a 1.
    Her: Oh yea, just terrible (she giggles)
    Me: Its okay, I'm sure you will get there. (I then give her my order and pay)

    Now she is busy this whole time but keeps wandering back to the front counter, obviously wanting me to say something or notice her, but at this point I am frozen, and her boss is up there working with them and being kind of a bitch to them, so I didn't want to get her in trouble. My food came up, and I left, do my sexy "Bye ladies" and flash her some fark me eyes, then walk out nice, tall and confident. I forgot my sauce so I go back in to get it, she negs me a bit telling me "Wow that is embarassing, and to get the hell out of there." I take my sauce and leave.

    I simply just lost the conversation. There wouldn't be time for anything more then witty banter but there may be in the future. My thing is I'm constantly running into issues with keeping the flow of the conversation, which is out of the norm for me as I have quite a bit of charisma and use it. I've just recently started training my brain to get my wits back up to help with this situation, but I'm still having some real issues here, so any input and help is appreciated.

  2. #2
    lib27 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: My game is stuck...

    I'm not big fan of teasingand negging because it demonstrates to much interest IMO. I think you should try to demonstrate less interest and more value for example by telling her that funny thing your female coworker told you today at work or the scary moment you almost burned the kitchen making dinner for friends because you'rea bad cook .... So she gets to know you little bit and gets attracted.

  3. #3
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: My game is stuck...

    Appreciate the input. Well I am a natural tease myself, so of course a bit of teasing is a part of my personality. HOWEVER:

    I absolutely agree with you. Lowering the value of a woman in my opinion is no way to treat her, or get her to like you. I have always had this self-protection mechanism of degrading myself or someone else for a laugh, and its something I have been working really hard to get rid of. I actually hung out with a group of about 10 or so friends last night, and had quite stimulating conversation, while keeping the teasing or jokes to a minimum, and I felt so much better about the whole thing.

    So to put a it into a single sentence: I have found that if you choose to really participate in the conversation, which is much more listening then talking you can actually contribute better, and people actually listen when you talk as well.

    PS: Also on a side note I choose to overcome some insecurity and confidence issues while in a court-ordered support group. I made an analogy about a recent science experiment involving colored liquids that wowed the whole room. It took only 90 seconds, and I had the entire room shaking my hand and giving me props. It was a wonderful feeling.

  4. #4
    lib27 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: My game is stuck...

    I have nothing against teasing i like it its fun but all I'm saying is that it sometimes conveys to much interest and you come off as try hard or boring. At first negging was used to convey disinterest so that the target thinks that you're not after her but it has been used so much that girls started to pick up the vibe and today if you neg or tease girl, she will probably assume that you do it because you're attracted. So I'm not saying that you should stop teasing but just to be cautious that it can be interpreted as an ioi by the girl.
    By the way I'd like to hear more about your side note, it seems cool what is it ?

  5. #5
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: My game is stuck...

    Yea I get what you are saying. I saw her again tonight, she kept coming over to talk to me, but I couldn't really think of anything interesting to say. Its not so much my mind went blank, so I started thinking to myself, damn am I really THAT boring?

    So anyway I am court ordered to go to this support group. The first couple meetings I didn't talk, but as I have also been working on posture and such pretty heavily, its also nice to be able to force yourself to sit properly the whole time. Basically they were having a talk about relapse and how tempted some of them had been, and they were discussing why they relapsed when they knew what was going to happen before they did it.

    The study was a few variables (random test subjects) and the control was colored and flavored liquids but the flavors messed up, such as yellow grape flavored liquid. The people then had to guess what they thought the flavor was, and pretty much no one got it right, suggesting that our brains think about the color and what we are going to taste before we taste it.

    Their brains are programmed so that they associate their vice with feelings such as a relief of stress, being more relaxed and such but at the expense of not caring. They simply didn't care about the negatives going on in their life and therefore had a relief of various issues they were facing. They seemed happier because they didn't care what happened to them while practicing their vice.

    The theory I proposed was that their brains were trained to think that while practicing, their problems were no more, so therefore practicing their vice was the best way to deal with their emotions. It was something along the lines of:

    "You guys are wanting to drink the red liquid and expecting a strawberry flavor when in reality its shit flavored liquid," or such and "I hope you guys can think about that to get a different perception when you are tempted."

    The point is that I had the confidence to actually address the group as an outsider and not one of them and have them bring me in fully while knowing I was not one of them. This is why the support group setting is good to help build conversational skills and confidence when you speak. You get a chance to work on eye contact, body language and also reading the body language of the others around you so you can change up the subject some if it is getting boring. I don't know if anyone else has thought of this, and the plus side is that you can go in and even if you act like a total tool they will still accept you and let you speak because that is the point.

    Some strong points I may suggest to remember:

    Use a firm handshake and maintain eye contact while shaking hands, but not too firm. You want to establish equality and not try to dominate.

    Maintain eye contact with various people around the room while you speak.

    Slow yourself down and articulate clearly, and loud enough for everyone to hear.

    Piggy back off of other's ideas and listen very carefully to what they say to inspire yourself and keep relevant to the topics being discussed.

    If you do not have a problem still pay attention to the reasons behind the steps, there are often good life teachings to help deal with the stresses of the world around you and mellow you out as a person (making you more likable and less annoying if you have that problem as I do).

    I know this is a stupid long post, but I hope it helps answer your question.

  6. #6
    AlmostDone is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: My game is stuck...

    Quote Originally Posted by lib27 View Post
    I'm not big fan of teasingand negging because it demonstrates to much interest IMO. I think you should try to demonstrate less interest and more value for example by telling her that funny thing your female coworker told you today at work or the scary moment you almost burned the kitchen making dinner for friends because you'rea bad cook .... So she gets to know you little bit and gets attracted.
    I totally agree. I am on board with many PUA advice but not on teasing. I am also not much on advertising your own value. I think keeping you a mystery is better. I think the following.
    1. as opening conversations talk about the moment. Keep things in the 'now' If she is enjoying the 'now' she will get around to asking about you. Ask about the venue you are at, the event, does she have friends here, is she having fun (avoid 'do you come here often' only because its over used). You can then link that to other places like 'you know such and such place its a lot like this one'
    2. ask questions about her and let her talk as long as she wants about her. Dont over due this, women know if its done to much you are playing. same with compliments.
    3. let her ask questions about you instead of you telling her about yourself. because one, they are more intrested in themselves then any other guy to be honest and two if she asks questions about you then you know she is starting to be intrested.

  7. #7
    lib27 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: My game is stuck...

    If think it depends on the situation because when you do day game, the girl doesnt know who you are and doesnt really wants to know. In this case you have to dhv little bit to spark th attraction that will allow you to have natural conversation. In day game situations, if the girl quickly learn that you have other girls in your life, that you have some kind of status or cool friends or any other dhv then she will be much more likely to continue talking to you. I think what you described is good for clubs, parties ... but is too hard to do in day game


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