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  1. #1
    prescriptions is offline PUA in Training
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    Thumbs down Needing tips for starting solo sarging.

    I just recently got into the forum. I have been reading books, just got started on NLP, will be moving on to magic, mind reading, handwriting, etc. I consistently workout, and definitely want to become a well rounded & knowledgeable man knowing multiple languages, music, etc.

    The issue: today I went out with a buddy of mine. We've been friends for a few years and like any good man, he loves to talk about his past conquests, so I finally convinced him to get over it and join me on this journey to self-improvement, so I'm trying to get him to be a supportive wing.

    Today, however, we went out with the purpose of buying new clothes, but I only really went because I wanted to try and get over my aa, make a few approaches, etc. In the end, we bought no clothes, chickened out and didn't get over any AA, although I tried to be friendly to a few employees here and there...and with people overall.

    I understand overcoming AA, and getting that confidence is more than just following some routine, and instead being a well rounded person. Being able to make any approach though is essential. In reality I'm starting out solo, so I only have me to wing & encourage me. I'd like to hear tips on how to get started on solo sarging, making approaches on the street, mall, etc. I'm definitely the only person that cares whether or not I succeed, so I think this is the path I must take before I can have a wing.
    Last edited by prescriptions; 12-11-2011 at 09:30 PM.

  2. #2
    jkwan23 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Needing tips for starting solo sarging.

    Not sure why there is a thumbs down for this thread, hmm. Well anyway.

    Daytime approach is hard at first because it goes against social norms (people don't normally walk up to random strangers and start talking). But when done in a natural way, you can make friends/potential dates and get numbers. There's a lot of different methods to get over aa, but I'll tell you the one I used that worked.

    1. Get the right attitude about approaching, which is: people aren't scary or mean, they won't get mad when you talk to them. There is nothing wrong with being friendly and social, so don't let anyone make you feel bad for approaching. Nothing bad will happen.

    2a. Begin by doing "warm up" approaches. This means approaching with low stakes. Go up to 5 people (girls or guys) a day--that's right every single day--and stop them on the street to ask them a question. Try asking people "excuse me, do you know what time it is" and once they answer say "great, thank you." and walk away.

    2b. Then move on to asking for directions, having a slightly longer, but still brief conversation.

    2c. Once you are comfortable with the above, move on to the "question + complement." Approach 5 girls each day with a question (time, directions, etc.) and then before you depart, make a quick complement about their outfit or something. Here's an example:

    You: "Hey, excuse me, do you know where the starbucks is around here?"
    Her: "oh, it's like two blocks that away on the right"
    You: (pointing) "two blocks that way? ok cool, thanks. I like your scarf by the way."
    Her: "haha, thanks"
    You: "see ya"

    Do this with a smile and positive body language and do it until it becomes really easy.

    3. Continue to lengthen the interactions, staying longer and flirting more. Eventually, you will be able to do this with ease if you build up gradually.

    The reason this works is because you condition yourself to approach, you get used to it. The early steps are so easy to do and risk free--nobody is going to blow you off for asking what time it is. Your mind will get used to being treated nicely during approaches, and you will become comfortable going a bit further.

    So start slow. Don't hit on anyone to start, just walk up to random people all day with no pressure, since you aren't going for phone numbers, you are just asking a simple question. Keep it up everyday and AA will diminish, but don't rush the process--let your body feel some success first by doing the easy approaches.

    Best,

    -jkwan

  3. #3
    prescriptions is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Needing tips for starting solo sarging.

    Thanks a bunch jkwan.

    The other day I actually went out by myself to the mall. 1st thing I did was get a smoothie so wherever I went it looked like I was on a mission, but still there to enjoy every moment of it, through my smoothie.

    Next I went out looking for an x-mas gift. Using my periferal I looked out for ladies while "minding my own business."

    After a few minutes of being a chicken, I hit it off with a worker at Fossil, lil bit of joking and flirting and I was on...

    Next stop, Macy's. I know employees are paid to be nice, so it was time to talk to some customers, so I found a 2 set in the appliance section, mom & daughter. All it took was a split second, (I could have walked away), but once again decided "f-it," and just went up and straight asked them for advice on what I could get for a secret santa.

    To my relief, I got a positive response. At first they were a little caught off guard...like "what??"...but once they saw my intentions were genuine, (I really needed help), they gave in and started thinking reeeeaaaal hard for me, haha. We decided on chocolate, couldn't go wrong, but I had to get more opinions!

    On my path to self discovery, I approached a few more sets, and overall, awesome response. A mom & 2-daughter 3-set I approached got so into it I kinda had to remove myself with a spatula, (very abruptly).

    So since then, I've been running on this renewed sense of confidence! Never again can I go to the mall, by myself, with the same lame mentality of "where are my friends when I need them."

    The key is to be the "man on a mission", and my personal addition to the "3-second rule" is if within those 3 seconds you're spotted staring, it's your responsibility to immediately walk up and engage the set. Don't give them a sec to think.

    (They were all pretty damn cute too.)


  4. #4
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    chet25 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Needing tips for starting solo sarging.

    Make goals and push yourself. Find out why men have anxiety and then work on deadening the social pressure. Your not going to get killed and there are millions of females now, so your not going to hurt your replication value.

    It is good your building a solid lifestyle, that is ultimately what makes a confident man. One big sticking point is stalling so know what your going to lead an interaction before time, practice. So your not thinking about, where you can think about your body language and other parts. Just get out of your comfort zone, those experiences will make it easier. Don't go in with an agenda, just worry about the process. That's when you'll get the skill.

  5. #5
    drqxx is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Needing tips for starting solo sarging.

    I would keep try and keep sarging. You are going to get shot down a lot. BUT THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS NO IF YOU DON'T ASK. So get out there and get rid of the NO's

  6. #6
    prescriptions is offline PUA in Training
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    Thumbs up Re: Needing tips for starting solo sarging.

    Quote Originally Posted by jkwan23 View Post
    ...I'll tell you the one I used that worked...

    -jkwan
    Thanks for the imput everyone. I think I'm going to start with what you did jkwan. How long approximately did it take you to carry out what you did in your response above? I have no intention of rushing things, but I'm trying to work out a schedule for the next few months as I dedicate myself to this.

    Thanks


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