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  • 8 Post By The Red Baron
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  • 7 Post By SexualSorcerer333
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Thread: Inner confidence wake up call

  1. #1
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Inner confidence wake up call

    I want to address this issue of neediness, one-itis, and inner confidence briefly

    I see post after post asking how you can get one girl, how you can make her like you, how you can get her into bed

    It should never be about one girl, there's no magic bullet and even the best PUA regrets a few that got away, but the more effort you put into an individual girl the fewer you're going to get.

    Everyone needs to stop getting caught up on individual girls. *Enough ultimatums, enough appealing to girls asking them to be your girlfriend. *Let them ask you and decide if they are worth it

    Guys regardless of your experience, what you look like, your education, or particular skills, you all have something that women want.

    You need to stop thinking about what you offer them, and start wondering who is worthy of your time

    Remember a date is your opportunity to screen her, NEVER the other way around. *If she's a bitch, she's not worth your time. *If she's cool, reward her, if she's a pain, show her your disappointment*

    Dating is a game, it's how it's meant to be. *It's ok to date multiple girls at once as long as you are open about it

    *(see post for references how: http://www.puaforums.com/dating-advi...exclusive.html

    Keep in mind "serial monogamy" is not healthy.

    If you're willing to commit to any cute girl out there it shows you don't value the ones you choose

    Screen them, make sure a girl is pretty amazing before you decide she's good enough for you

    Let them see you're valuable, let them see you're wanted, you have choices

    Trust me it makes you more desireable, and it shows that if you decide to date a girl, she must be pretty special to make it on that list

    Inner confidence guys, you're the prize, you're screening them not the other way around
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  2. #2
    Grant C is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Inner confidence wake up call

    Thats sound advise, do you have any technics of getting yourself into a Mindset that your screening them not the other way round.
    At the moment im all ways trying to impress the girl witch has worked but I have come across as needy a couple of times.

  3. #3
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: Inner confidence wake up call

    Umm fake it till ya make it? Haha

    It gets much easier after you get used to being confident.

    I really don't use routines but if you want a place to start, try incorporating false disqualifiers "we would never work because x", tease girls on silly things, "really? You're from Wisconsin? (or whatever, you do x?), that's..... Kinda a deal breaker". Those things are magic

    You also want to look into ways to elicit values (ev routines), that make a girl show she's up to your standards. Read Jugglers ebook "how to meet and connect with women", he's got solid natural (although very direct) game, and he's possibly the best at natural EV

    After you start to turn it around you're going to notice an amazing shift in the way women start to prove themselves to you and how you actually care less about proving yourself to them. It comes together but hopefully that can help you start

    And always remember the mind frame I discussed in the base post
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  4. #4
    SexualSorcerer333 is offline PUA Forums Banned
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    Default Re: Inner confidence wake up call

    Lol I just started reading this and already I have to reply about the first issue. I hate how many posts there are, literally like thousands, on here about men, talking about one single situation with one single woman they need very specific help with. Not only does it show poor game to be that concentrated on one woman and situation, but its just not helpful to be putting that much effort into one single one. not only that, but most of all, the advice you get on that one situation, when its so specific, is not easily transferrable to other situations. And that means your not helping anyone else out either. When I write posts about my situations, I keep them as general as possible so that they can be applied to any number of situations. People on here should be th inking more about the big picture.

    Also I think people need to realize that this game, is about numbers. its a numbers game. Your right, there are no magic bullets. I live in a city witha very high crime rate so people here are very guarded, and very unfriendly to people who approach them out of the blue, usually. So there have been so many situations where I have done absolutely everything right and the women just are not reachable, they are too guarded. Conversely there have been so many situations where Ih ave done everything right, and the women do play right into my palm, but for some logistical reason, or some other reason, it just doesnt work out. But I still do get with women because I am playing the field. Its all about statistics. I am not spending all of my time trying to get these women its not working out with. Persistence is key but not when it marginalizes everythign else you sould be also working on lol. I know when things arent going well with a woman and I will persist to a point but there comes a distinct point when I realize its a waste of my time and energy because she is obviously not the girl for me because she has a bad attitude, or is emotionally unavailable, or lame or stupid (i have gamed women who were ungamable because you cant really talk to them because they are so lame and stupid, and honestly no matter how hot they are, its not worth my time). And I know when its going good too, but just wont logistically work out, because she works too much, is self absorbed, has a weird schedule, whatever. I know when things go well and I should try to get the girl out on a date but if I keep trying for a little while and its just not happening thats taking time away from other women. And I do get other women, because I know when to move on. Its just not worth it, even when things have gone really well and you really like a woman, and she seems to really like you, sometimes it just doesnt work out, and you have to just say "it was really nice meeting you but were obviously not going to hang out, if your ever free let me know though."

    And I want to address this a step further. There are so many guys who post on here saying "Things are going so well with this chick she really seemed to like me but then....idk what happened...and I keep texting her and now she is unresponsive....what did I do wrong and what should I do?" well if you have done the key lock sequence, and used every technique you can think of, and its been a week or two of not working, well what your doing wrong is continuing to text and think about this girl, and what you should do is forget her!

    And finally I want to address the men out there who keep posting on here about women who have boyfriends, or are in some impossible situation, but these guys just have that one-itis over them and want to know how they can steal this woman from her boyfriend, or infiltrate her impossible situation. Really? Were f*cking pickup artists, and your going to bother with that mess? Girlfriend stealing and dealing with women who are just plain unavailable situationally, or who just plain dont have the right kind of brain and personality to relate to others need to be left alone. Its just so stupid to be wasting your time and energy on that kind of girl.

    And women who are stupid, lame, have bad attitudes, are lazy, never go out, are workaholics, have no social skills, are boring, etc etc etc, as many hot women and women who have never been made to actually be proactive about life, well, why the hell would you want to talk to, let alone spend serious amounts of energy trying to date and have sex with that kind of woman? What kind of pay off is that anyways? I mean your gonna do what in the bedroom with her, have her lay there like a plastic doll? Because women like that do not know how to have sex, they literally lay there, its pitiful. I literally stopped having sex witha girl once and said this is pointless, you dont do anything. And I moved on to a girl who was way cooler and more fun, and was a demon in the sack. She probably wasnt as hot but I coudlnt tell because she just had a better frame. So think about that for a minute. What do we learn here, its not about looks its about frame. Teh same thing goes with the women you date. Your wasting your time with women who have looks but a shitty or void personality.

    And one last note about dealing with women who have boyfriends. What the hell are you looking for? Some guy to come hunt you down and try to fight you for stealing his girlfriend because he is not a pickup artist and doesnt know how to get other girls and has one-itis over her himself and has to cling to her for dear life because he is worried he cant get another? Because thats what happens when you steal a hot girl away from your average jock. The freaking monkey does anything to get her back, including beating the shit out of you right in front of her. Or, maybe your looking for some other kind of drama, because there are others that come of these situations. Or maybe your looking to date a girl who cant be trusted because if you can easily take her away from him you have just proven to yourself that she is untrustworthy...sooo o...or wait...maybe your looking to turn the art of pickup into something devious, where you actually are the bad guy, or maybe your looking for a woman who you have to really struggle to get, or create some sort of ping pong match or competition with her and this other guy. Either way, those situations suck. I used to think the best women were taken and had no scruples about trying to steal girlfriends. And I used to be a fiend for impossible situations too. I was successful a small percentage of the time. Had some great feats. Stole a couple girlfriends. One of them was a serious prize, a very high class film maker who dumped her boyfriend of ten years for me and flew me out to this mansion for a week of vacation and tantric sex on LSD. I even was able to do a roomate switch from this life guard I dated to her much curvier, blonder roomate, who had a way better personality. The rest were all a waste of time. what did I learn from these experiences? Well they are no more than self sabatoging. Those few instances of success I named, took so much time and energy. In those couple years I could have been with so many more women, and spent so much less energy, and emotions, on them. Its just not a good idea.

    And boyfriend stealing is wrong. When that high class woman told me how her boyfriend of 10 years reacted when she broke up with him out of the blue to be in a polygamous relationship, I felt extremely bad for the guy, because the way she described his actions sounded like how I would have reacted if I was heartbroken. And I have been. And so will you if you let your one itis get the best of you and you allow yourself to invest too much energy, and emotions, into any one woman, especially when she is in one of those just generally bad situations.

    The best maneuver a pickup artist has sometimes, is his ability to turn around and walk away. There is a difference between aiming for women who are harder to get because easy ones just are not high quality, and gaming women who are too hard, or a better word would be, too complicated to get, because guess what? Its their situation is difficult, or complicated, for a reason. Just dont get involved. There are no shortage of women out there, and if you play the game like a numbers game, your going to find the women of your dreams much more quickly. There are so many positive women out there who will make you so happy.

    And interfering in happy relationships is wrong. Imagine that you do find that girl and a better pickup artist takes her. youd think to yourself, how fucked up is that? A pickup artist who can get most any woman he wants just breaks up our happy relationship for no reason? You should only do that if the relationship is abusive.

    I talked to two women this week who literally just made my day. Tehy had boyfriends so I didnt ask for their number. But we had extremely flirty interactions. One of them was a gorgeous red hed who was super freaking cool and literally talked to me for like a half an hour about all kinds of things, joking and flirting. She had a husband and I could tell that she wasnt satisfied with him, but he couldnt have been a bad guy, she probably just had a higher energy level than him or some interests he didnt share, she was probably just bored. It didnt even come up that she was still married for a while (she had married him adn divorced him, and then remarried, and when she told me she had been married and divorced, she left out the part about remarrying him until later hahaha) but when it did I didnt think, oh I have to steal her from him, I thought to myself, idk what her deal is, or what his deal is, but there is no way in hell I am getting involved. This chick is going to be friend zoned. Thats right, you can friend zone a girl. Its a great idea. You know why? First, when you do that, you are in control. And just like when a girl friend zones you, you want her more, when you friend zone a girl, she wants you more. So it makes it more liable to actually happen when you friend zone her. Secondly, even if you never do get romantic, its good to have cool girls as friends. when women see you out with other cool attractive women, they see that as a status symbol, and want you.

    The other girl this week who had a boyfriend was super gorgeous, and young. She was so friendly with me. When I asked for her number she said she had a boyfriend. I asked his name and acted happy for them, because I was. She is young, he is young, I dont want to get involved in that freaking drama. No way, are you kidding me? Over a girl when I could easily just turn to the next one walking by? I thought to just ask her to be friends but then I said na forget it, she is young, I'll probably get bored with talking to her quickly anyways. So I just acted like a genuinely classy guy and left on a positive note, not feeling rejected, but enriched by the interest that a super gorgeous girl had shown in me even though she had a boyfriend. Thank god he wasnt around because she probably would have done it regardless, and that would have been trouble.

    And nothing is worth your trouble. You shoudl be using your skills to make your dating life smoother, not bumpier. The guys who know how to properly use this material are fluidly going from chick to chick having positive interactions with most of them, closing many because they are playing the game as one of numbers, and are on the fast track to the girlfriend or girlfriends of their dreams. That should be you. Not "I keep texting this girl and she isnt texting me back, what do I do?" lol. Even the smallest towns and counties have at least 30,000 people in them, and half are women. Statistically speaking, there is never any reason to be hung up on any one, because no matter how good she seems, there is most likely someone better.

  5. #5
    Autismus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Inner confidence wake up call

    Quote Originally Posted by The Red Baron View Post
    Remember a date is your opportunity to screen her, NEVER the other way around. *If she's a bitch, she's not worth your time. *If she's cool, reward her, if she's a pain, show her your disappointment*
    Gives a whole new level of meaning to DHVing
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  6. #6
    SexualSorcerer333 is offline PUA Forums Banned
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    Default Re: Inner confidence wake up call

    yes and thats exactly right. Your the one who needs to be doing the screening and filtering. Not pursuing her until she filters you out. This doesnt mean turn the date into a job interview, lol everyone knows not to do that. But in your mind, dont be putting yourself below her and treating it like she is interviewing you. Practice selection. Natural selection is the fundamental law of sociology. If your not practicing social darwinism your not going to have any more of a satisfying love life. You might get laid but youll be with women who you find out are psychotic, lame, stupid, etc. You have to be playing the game as a statistics game, and screening your women well to make sure you are getting with the ones that you want.

  7. #7
    Raptor is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Inner confidence wake up call

    @ SexualSorcerer333, so much of what you said rings true about breaking people up. I applied the first stuff I learned on here to do that because, frankly, it worked too well and she basically threw herself at me (shes a mess emotionally and in maturity btw, so I'm not trying to say I'm an uber PUA), and I was stoked to just have a girl and get some. So here I am 3 months later, alone, having less of a social circle then I should, and shes back with her ex. I'm past it (happened a week ago), but I realized how stupid of a decision I made. I settled for less with this girl, and now that I know what that feels like, I never will again.

  8. #8
    SexualSorcerer333 is offline PUA Forums Banned
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    Default Re: Inner confidence wake up call

    Yea, I'm sorry you had to learn the hard way. but the fact is that, even if you dont care about your fellow man, and how it would feel if a better pickup artist manipulated someone you were in love with to cheat on you....the fact is that women who cheat cant be trusted, if she is cheating on him with you who knows what ways in which she will lie to you and use you. And also its just asking for serious drama, and possibly violence. Just bad ideas and thats the bottom line. if she is legitimately unhappy or in an unhealthy relationship thats a total exception, some women just cant break free and need a little help. But you just cant go around destroying happy couples creating drama like that, cause your the one who has to deal with it lol.

  9. #9
    Raptor is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Inner confidence wake up call

    Ha, I wouldn't call him good, but she's settling for what she can get and so is he. There was some major trust issues going on, I will say that. The breaking them up made it hard for me to trust her and the reason was "whats to stop her again." She did cheat before breaking up with me, with said ex, so what do you know? She also didn't really trust me even when I did totally go back to AFC behavior, and it destroyed some friendships with cool girls I had.

    The thing I keep coming back to is that I learned a lot, she really didn't deserve me, and I am going to be better for it. Otherwise I would probably be moping around hating myself for AFCing.


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