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  1. #1
    greengiant is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default A Flaw in Myself that PUA Has Shown

    Best describe my personality 5 years ago was monotone, little words, self concious. Im now confident (atleast I pretend to be), and my personality has turned into a cocky/funny mentality (pre pua), and since starting PUA my Approach Anxiety is now gone and I always got a little tense around HB8-10, that is now gone.

    Although the same problem that has always been there is still here. Connecting. I can talk to girls, make them laugh, with that cocky/funny mentality. But cannot connect. Holding a conversation for more than a few minutes is very hard. Being interesting is also very hard for me. And connecting emotionally making a person feel good is also very hard.

    Yesterday for example at a party I was talking to some girl her bf was there. I was already introduced so didnt run an opener. I had good social proof because there was only 15 people there and I knew every single one of them, and everyone talked to me at some point. Talked a bit got to know her, made her laugh but after a few minutes, I started to draw blanks on things to say and didnt want it to fizzle out so just ejected on a high point and then went and talked to some guy I just met about random shit. I always do this.

    There was another girl there who I had already met a week prior her bf was there too. Besides saying hi to her, I didnt strike a convo with her, because I wouldnt know what to say. Since shes a friend most routines wouldnt work as everyone knew my ex gf is not from LA who surgically cracked her jaw so she could have a C smile.

    Basically I can shoot shit with any guy, but fail hard to talk for long periods with woman and seem interesting. Everytime ive gotten female attention/sex has usually been from an overload of extremely cocky/funny/high social proof/maybe some Kino.

    Ive never been able to grasp that interesting/emotional connection part that allows a girl to get sucked into the convo and connected.

  2. #2
    don pimpin sheezy's Avatar
    don pimpin sheezy is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: A Flaw in Myself that PUA Has Shown

    Quote Originally Posted by greengiant View Post
    Best describe my personality 5 years ago was monotone, little words, self concious. Im now confident (atleast I pretend to be), and my personality has turned into a cocky/funny mentality (pre pua), and since starting PUA my Approach Anxiety is now gone and I always got a little tense around HB8-10, that is now gone.

    Although the same problem that has always been there is still here. Connecting. I can talk to girls, make them laugh, with that cocky/funny mentality. But cannot connect. Holding a conversation for more than a few minutes is very hard. Being interesting is also very hard for me. And connecting emotionally making a person feel good is also very hard.

    Yesterday for example at a party I was talking to some girl her bf was there. I was already introduced so didnt run an opener. I had good social proof because there was only 15 people there and I knew every single one of them, and everyone talked to me at some point. Talked a bit got to know her, made her laugh but after a few minutes, I started to draw blanks on things to say and didnt want it to fizzle out so just ejected on a high point and then went and talked to some guy I just met about random sh1t. I always do this.

    There was another girl there who I had already met a week prior her bf was there too. Besides saying hi to her, I didnt strike a convo with her, because I wouldnt know what to say. Since shes a friend most routines wouldnt work as everyone knew my ex gf is not from LA who surgically cracked her jaw so she could have a C smile.

    Basically I can shoot sh1t with any guy, but fail hard to talk for long periods with woman and seem interesting. Everytime ive gotten female attention/sex has usually been from an overload of extremely cocky/funny/high social proof/maybe some Kino.

    Ive never been able to grasp that interesting/emotional connection part that allows a girl to get sucked into the convo and connected.
    You can be a monotone man of few words or a cocky/funny extrovert, it doesn't matter, as long as you try escalating with the women you find attractive. A chick that's sexually attracted to you is going to find it a hell of a lot more interesting a guy that's trying to escalate things over a guy who's trying to make "interesting" conversation. To hell with conversation, be a man of action. John Wayne didn't have to do a bunch of talking, he made things happen.

  3. #3
    rs5096's Avatar
    rs5096 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: A Flaw in Myself that PUA Has Shown

    Hey greengiant,

    It may be that you are trying to hard. I know this sounds weird but hear me out. Escalation is important but if you don't connect the girld is gonna feel the gap, especially if you want to develop relationships.

    trying to means hard means getting los tin your mind, you keep thinking what should I say. Try let it flow.

    One of the ways is to narrow in from a broad conversation. So if you're talking to a girl at a party and you say, "nice party" - that is a very broad statement.

    However, if you start getting more specific the conversation and conection should flow. For example, you might say "Nice party. I like the music it reminds me of the time I went backpacking around Europe and they played this at the hostel where I met some cool guys from New Zealand. What music do you like?"

    Its just and example, and introduces a nyumber of threads that the conversation might follow; but the narrower and more specific the conversation the more natural it will flow.

    Also don't keep asking questions like in an interview.

    So, if the girl answers, "I really like U2", you could follow up with a statement like "that's cool, Bono is pretty talented and I like the work he is doing in Africa." or "yeah, on the backpacking trip I went through Ireland. what a magniicent country and the people are so friendly." Again introducing new threads for the conversation to flow.

    Hope this helps.

    rs5096

  4. #4
    Markymark1 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: A Flaw in Myself that PUA Has Shown

    1st post. This makes sense. Most people use generic statements and it's just annoying


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