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Conquering Jealousy
Old 11-12-2009 09:39 AM
Bill
 

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Chances are the love of your life will be attracted to someone else at some point even if they are blissfully happy with you. That is human nature. It is normal, even healthy, to have physical attraction to others even when you are already solidly in a committed relationship.

The sooner you accept this fact, the better. Can you honestly say you have never been in a relationship and been attracted to someone outside your relationship? If so, I think you are ignoring those feelings.

Physical attraction is normal. It is even primal and natural. Some say our DNA determines who we find attraction, who would make the best DNA match with us to produce the strongest offspring.

Obviously the problem occurs when you are aware of your partner’s attraction to someone else and make a big deal out of it. You may notice your partner light up and pay particular attention to someone who walks in the room or see her act giggly or him showing off.

Just take it easy there remember that you know how to pick up women and show how charming you are. Your ever-loving partner may not even realize they are attracted and reacting this way. Unless it is rude or disrespectful to you, it is best to ignore it.

A little harmless flirting hurts no one. In fact, sometimes it spices up your own love life. For instance, seeing someone flirt with your wife or girlfriend reminds you of all the qualities you find attractive about her. You again see her through someone else’s eyes. Or say your wife is just full of self esteem because men at a party made her feel pretty and attractive. She might want to come home and share those good feelings with you in bed.

The most important step to overcome jealousy is to develop such a strong self esteem on your own part, that you couldn’t possibly understand how your partner would find anyone else better for them than you. Not only is this self esteem super attractive to your mate, but it is almost a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You can work to develop so much self esteem that if you did end up with a partner who strayed or left you, you would know with every fiber of your being that it was for the best. You would know with every ounce of your being that you deserved better than that.

It still might break your heart a little, but you would know it was for the best in the long run.

With all that said, sometimes there is behavior by the one you love that makes you jealous. The first step is to talk to her or him about it. It could be they were unaware of this behavior or just naive. Once you bring your concerns to the table and they are met with responsiveness from your mate, you have done about all you can do.

You can’t change your partner. You can’t control them. You can’t make them love you. You can’t make them faithful to you. The only control you have is over yourself and the choices you make. Good luck.

Tags: jealousy,self improvement,self esteem




 

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