There are many books and magazine articles out there that tell you how to get women and how to get men, but sometimes the best thing to read is not what you should be doing, but what you shouldn’t be doing.

For instance, if you are a guy here’s what you should not do if you want to pick up a woman.

First, whatever you do, don’t insult her. Somewhere along the line men started advocating bringing a woman down to make her like you. It doesn’t work. At the same time, don’t fawn over her. If you have a genuine, sincere compliment than say it. Don’t make up some generic line that means nothing. She will see right through you.

Don’t act like a pig. Have manners. Don’t engage in typical “gross” male behavior, such as burping, farting, talking rude and crude. That type of behavior may be fine around the guys, but it is a big turn off for women. You don’t have to be uptight, just talk to her like you would around your sister.

Don’t think that looking sloppy conveys nonchalance. It doesn’t. It only shows you are a slob. Try to dress nice, in clean clothes and have excellent grooming habits.

OK, now if you are a woman, here is the number one, worst thing to talk about when meeting a man: your cats. Any guy who hears you are living alone with your cats will run far away. I don’t care how hot you are, it just is a bad idea. If you want to discreetly mention you have a pet, you can feel the guy out. He might be like a friend of mine who is crazy about animals and you will have an instant commonality. However, make sure this comes out after you’ve gotten to know one another.

Also, if you are a woman, please, please, please don’t talk about your ex-boyfriend. This is a big turn off. We men don’t really want to know anything about who you used to date. We don’t want to hear about your terrible past relationships or your fantastic last boyfriend. We don’t care.

And if you are a woman, do not talk about commitment or what you are looking for in a man or a relationship. This is a conversation that can take place way, way down the road. It is not necessary to even broach this subject for several dates and months later.

Now, this goes for both men and women: If you want to successfully attract someone, whatever you do, don’t have needy or clingy. Have enough self confidence that you convey a sense of nonchalance and fun. With enough self esteem, you can attract anyone in the room. People are drawn to confident people like bees to honey. It is probably the most important thing you can work on to attract someone to you.

Remember, sometimes when you are trying to decide how you should act to attract a love interest, it is just as important to remember how not to act.

Bill Preston has been studying Pick Up Lines and how to be a Pick Up Artist for the last 5 years and is a guest instructor at the top Pickup Artist Boot camp in NYC. He loves sharing his experience and the latest Pickup Lines with other men looking to improve their lives.