That intriguing girl is at the coffee shop again this week. Last time you saw her you thought about walking up and talking to her, but you were afraid she would shoot you down. Today, that gurgling, churning fear in your stomach stops you cold in your tracks and she walks out the door That fear of approaching a woman might have let the perfect girl for you slip through your fingers. What to do?

Start changing things right now so that never happens to you again. Here are some tried-and-true tricks and tips that will help you be a better conversationalist and make approaching a woman much, much easier:

1. Take a Toastmaster class. If you spend a little bit of time learning how to speak comfortably in front of a group, you will reap the rewards for a lifetime. The ability to speak in front of people doesn’t always come naturally. But the good news is that it is a skill that can be learned. It doesn’t take much money, just some time and effort. If you are willing to improve your speaking ability, you will improve your ability to approach women.

2. Practice everywhere and with everyone. Don’t think that you have to wait until you see a girl you want to date to practice your approach or conversational skills. That is the wrong time to “practice.” Instead, practice every day every chance you get. For instance, practice striking up a conversation with the guy or gal who makes your coffee every morning. Start talking to the clerk at the market. Talk to the guy waiting for the bus beside you. Initiate a conversation with the older woman at the flower market or the woman at the dog park. Don’t save your conversational skills for the Hot Babe you want to date. Practice any chance you get.

3. Read the paper. You can do this online or even get your news from the radio, but keep abreast of current events. This makes you more interesting just because you are interested in events outside of yourself. IN addition, knowledge of what is going on in your neighborhood, your city, the country, and the world gives you lots of fodder to strike up a conversation. In addition, you can more effectively contribute to someone else’s conversation when you know what they are talking about.

4. Have opinions. Part of keeping abreast of current affairs is reading topics that you can then develop an opinion about. You might think it is brilliant or asinine, but that doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t matter what your opinion is, as long as you have one. Women will like you if they see you are decisive enough to have an opinion about something EVEN IF that opinion is the exact opposite of yours. Having an opinion and not being afraid to express it also demonstrates a high level of self-confidence, which is golden.

5. Listen. Learn how to be a good listener. Did you know that most people will rank someone as a good conversationalist not based on the witty things that come out of their mouth, but based on their listening skills? If you don’t listen carefully and engage in active listening with everyone you speak to, start doing it now. Figure out what makes a good listener and adopt those qualities.

If you pay attention to these five bits of advice, you are well on your way to conquering any fear you might have about approaching women.