You’ve got all the moves and she is eating them up. She’s batting her eyelashes and lightly running her fingers down your arm. You’re happy. She’s happy. And then, in walks the girl you went out with last night and makes a beeline for you.

She actually comes up to you, gives you a kiss on the cheek, and then mercifully walks away.

Suddenly your date is not so friendly anymore. She has withdrawn physically, emotionally, and mentally. She sits with her arms crossed and demands an explanation.

“You’re a player, aren’t you?” she asks with a pout.

What to say? This situation is possible for any man who is not dating one woman exclusively. And in fact, unless you are super serious, I never recommend exclusivity. It isn’t good for you or the women you date, unless you are ready to settle down in a very serious relationship.

So back to your lovely date. What to say? Well, unbelievably, you need to be as honest as possible, without revealing everything and without hurting feelings. Now some feelings will be hurt no matter what, but you need to lessen the blow.

Here are ways you should handle it:

1. Ask her this: “Are you asking me if we are exclusive?” If she answers, yes, then say you’re not ready for that yet.
2. Immediately follow with this: Tell her that you love spending time with her and wouldn’t give that up. That what matters to you is being able to spend time with her because you enjoy it so much.
3. If she asks again if you are dating others, you can say that you aren’t ready to date her exclusively yet.
4. If she demands that you don’t date other people, you have to be ready to stand firm. Tell her that you are sorry she feels that way because you really like hanging out with her and were hoping something more would come from it, but weren’t ready to commit to her exclusively yet.


Now at that point, you need to shut up. You’ve said you’re two cents. You’ve been honest and let her know how you feel. Now the ball is in her court. It is up to her to decide if she wants to hang out with you and take the chance that you might not ever decide to date her exclusively, or she can cut loose right now.

Really, you’ve done your part. You’ve been honest and had integrity and tried not to say anything that would make her feel bad, hurt her feelings, or damage her self-esteem.

Notice, that in what I suggested you tell her, you never say, “Hell, yeah, I’m dating a ton of women, including that hottie who just came up and kissed me on the cheek.”

You can avoid sharing details without ever being dishonest. This is the best way to handle it. She is probably a smart girl and realizes that you are being a good guy and honest, but that you jut aren’t ready to commit.

And if she does stick around, then that is the girl you might want to consider dating exclusively in the future: someone who is confident and appreciates your honesty.