The key to picking up women is attitude. If you don’t have an attitude that projects your self confidence, you aren’t going to be able to Attract Women no matter how good looking you are or what kind of awesome car you drive.

Women are attracted to men who ooze self-esteem.

This is a fact of life.

We cluster to be around people who like themselves. And isn’t that what self-confidence is at its core — how much we like ourselves.

So, the first tip I would give you to help you be successful with women is to do whatever it takes to boost your self-confidence. The first step in doing this is to sit down in a quiet place with a pen and paper and list all your strengths. If you want, you can include your weaknesses, but truly that is not going to be a focus of this exercise or any other advice I give. (Studies show that it is a waste of time to try to work on weaknesses and that the best use of time is to build on our strengths.)

Sit down and list your strengths and attributes. You list might look something like this:
• Kind
• Loyal
• Ambitious
• Good problem solver
• Dealmaker
• Loves animals
• Snazzy dresser
• Witty
• Great sense of humor
• Master at chess
• Skilled bicyclist
• Outgoing

Your list should be much longer than this, but I just want to give some examples. Then take a look at your list and make sure you are giving yourself props for these strengths. You can even put these qualities on index cards and paste them around your apartment for a few days to remind you. I want you to be able to call these strengths up at any time. Maybe not all, but at least a few.

Another great exercise to help build self-esteem is to come up with a catch phrase that you memorize and then use to replace any negative self talk you might have gotten into the habit of letting run around in your head.

For instance, you might always freeze up and stutter when you approach a beautiful woman. As soon as you do, you might think, “Okay dingbat, you sound like a moron!”
As soon as any thought like this creeps into your head, replace it with your catch phrase, which needs to be fairly short and memorable and contain particular words that are meaningful to you.

For instance, if you have abandonment issues, are insecure about your looks, and feel tongue-tied often, your catch phrase might be: I am attractive, articulate, and worthy of someone’s love and loyalty.

It’s that easy. Create the catchphrase that sings to your soul and practice saying it at least three times a day, but hopefully more. Then practice replacing any negative self-talk you might have with these words of positive reinforcement. Pretty soon, it will become habit. Even if you aren’t saying anything negative in your head, if you start to feel insecure or unsure or lacking in self-esteem, just pull out your catchphrase and say it over and over until you feel more confident again.

Self-confidence is rarely natural for anyone. It is a product of our upbringing and environment and how we treat and talk to ourselves.