Girl flirts with me in front of her boyfriend!

There is this girl at work that I’ve known for nearly a year now. In the past there has been a lot of flirting between us (both face to face and via email), but as she had a long term boyfriend who now lives with her I didn’t pursue things. Plus, as there was someone else at work that I liked even more, my mind was taken off this one. Therefore, things fizzled out and the flirting and conversations between this girl and I became far less frequent, and there was less flirting in the conversations. Then, in the last month, her boyfriend actually got a job in the same company as us surprisingly (on a different floor), so I actively cut down the flirting with her. As an aside, I have actually met her boyfriend through another friend of mine (who is good friends with her and her bf).

However, yesterday several of us (including her boy friend) went out for drinks after work. Even before we got to the pub that evening she was walking with me and talking to me (while her boyfriend was already at the pub before we left with some other colleagues). Then at the pub while we were all standing around outside with our drinks, she was very chatty with me and even gave me a couple of playful hits during the conversation (I’m sure people around us and her boyfriend must have seen this). She seemed more interested in talking to me than her boyfriend and anyone else. In fact, in the entire time she was out (around an hour before her and her bf left), she must have been talking to me for 80-90% of that time. Though, because of her bf being there I made sure I didn’t actively flirt with her in the conversation, that my body language wasn’t too open (standing sideways to her with my head turned round to her), and that I didn’t use any Kino on her (I normally would use a little on her). Near the end of our conversation her bf joined us and while he was just talking normally with us, he was actually giving me some strong eye contact and was staring me out a couple of times.

Now, I’m not asking whether I should pursue this as I know that would be entering dangerous territory, and I’d like to think I am not one of those sleazes that would actively ruin a relationship. What I am wandering is why would she do that, and how do I play it from here? She is not a “slut” and doesn’t really flirt with other guys in the office, so I’m confused as to why she would do that? Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like she never flirted with me in the past and suddenly is now, it’s that other people’s and her boyfriend’s presence almost encouraged the flirting, bizarrely.

I wouldn't put too much thought into this one. Like you said this is dangerous territory. She could have been extra flirty for any number of reasons. Maybe just buzzed having a good time.

I actually had the same kind of thing happen recently. My buddy has had the same girlfriend for years, then when I see him and his girlfriend after not having seem them in a long time, she flirted heavily with me. It was at my birthday party (just a bunch of friends and family at a park having a bbq, no drinking). I just showed a lot of interest in what she was studying at college and demonstrated higher value because I knew a lot about the subject, and she must have also felt very relateble to me because I knew the subject. The whole time her boyfriend was right there. He tried talking about the subject of science as well, but she didn't even respond to his comments.

Honestly, it doesn't mean anything. Girls are guided by emotion, not logic. I've had this happen quite a few times. It's just that girls want to feel that they aren't stuck by being in a relationship and are still "hot" or "desired", or whatever. Months after she "flirted" with me, she kind of gave me the cold shoulder the next time I saw her.

I'd say just enjoy it, on the inside, DO NOT show it on the outside. Seeing as how this reply is like six months after your post, I'm sure the situation is done...maybe?

When that happens to me in Florida, it's usually a couple swingers who want my body :P Don't give in to the temptation to do someone's girlfriend at work. In my experience, it's not worth the drama. Just find a girl who looks similar to her and bang it out. Even if you do start up with that girl, it's not going to be a clean break. She'll probably try to keep him around at the same time so she has security. I like the drama in these stories though, so if you give her a pounding let us know :P