PUA Forum Blog

One of the true secrets to success with women and dating, is to surround yourself with an abundance of high quality women.  Here are 11 ways that you can increase your social circle and have a much higher chance of attracting women, including the woman of your dreams.

1. Play co-ed sports.  Whether it is Volleyball, Ultimate Frisbee, Softball, Tennis,  Dodgeball, it really it doesn’t matter.  Not only will you have fun and stay in shape, you also will be exposed to women who are healthy and have a fun sense of adventure.

2. Join a Club.  Find things that you enjoy doing and look online for other people who love the same things.  There are so many clubs out there that range from book clubs, to skiing clubs, to movie clubs.  The key here is find something that interests you, don’t just join the club to meet women.  If nothing else you will meet some like-minded people, which brings me to my next point.

3. Befriend everyone.  Guys, girls you are not interested in, older people, younger people.  ALL of these people have other friends and many times they know of a great single gal just waiting for a decent guy to come along.  If you are friendly to everyone, you will be surprised at how many people try to set you up with their single friends.

4. Get a part time job somewhere that has women working there or women coming there.  This could be a bar, a coffee shop, the campus bookstore.  Look around, there are places that women spend a lot of time at.   Work there, even just part time a few hours a week and you will be exposed to hundreds of women.

5. Befriend girls even if you are not interested in them.  This might be the single most important thing you can do to surround yourself with the women that you would like to date.  Befriend the women you are NOT interested in.  They will invite you to all sorts of parties and events where you will be exposed to MANY more women than you would be able to meet on your own.  Plus, women talk and nothing is going to get you in the door quicker with a girl than to get a stellar review of how fun and cool you are by the girl who brought you.  Remember, women base a lot of their opinion on what OTHER women think of you (the whole social proof thing).

6. This one I learned from two guys I am friends with, Christian Hudson from The Social Man and Steven Nash who is LA Playboy from The Game.  Have weekly dinner parties and tell your friends to bring a friend or two.  I believe Steven had a weekly Tuesday night dinner at his place where he was the host.  Christian always had a Sunday night Entourage dinner party.  I can’t tell you how great this was for Christian and his friends.  Every Sunday a different set of amazing women would show up, many of them would remain in our social circle after just that one simple event.  And since it was held in NYC, many people didn’t have family near by so it was a great way to connect for a Sunday dinner and bond with people.

7. Invite women as friends to sporting events.  I love going to Baseball games, especially Yankees games.  I love being around women.  So it makes perfect sense to invite one or more of the women in my life (both women I am dating and women in my social circle) to a game.  We always had a great time, downing a couple of beers and watching the game.  Many guys will bring their guy friends to sporting events, but I have to tell you – while that is pretty fun… nothing beats bringing a girl who is into sports.  Plus you never know, you might end up back at your place after the game.  It’s a win – win baby.

8. Talk to people all the time.  Now this one can be the hardest, but it also is one of the single most important thing you can do when trying to get better with women and increase your social circle.  Even if you feel that you have NOTHING in common with the person near you, you really have no idea until you talk to them.  Be social and you will see how your game improves dramatically.  Here is a quick tip that I used when I first moved to New York.  Find out someone’s name and use it when talking to them.  It does WONDERS for rapport.  There is something about someone using your name when they are talking to you that somehow makes you like them on an unconscious level.  Look around, the people who are REALLY good in social situations always use the person’s name in the conversation they are having.

9. Take a class.  This can be a night class at the local University or even just a local class you find on meet up.  It can be a group class on learning to play the guitar, or even a speech class (which I can not recommend enough).  These classes will put you in contact with people who share your passions and will also help you improve some aspect of your life.  Either way, you will enhance your life and your social circle.  A great way to bond with people is to invite everyone from class to grab a drink after class to talk about what you just learned.  This strategy has met me people that I am still friends with to this day.

10. Volunteer.  Find a local soup kitchen that needs people to help prepare or serve the food.  Maybe join a group that spends Saturday mornings cleaning up the local park or repairing the local baseball field.  Not only are you helping the community you live in, but you are going to be exposed to some truly genuine people who have their priorities in order.  Again, talk to everyone at these events.

11.  Learn how to talk to women.  Women are different then men and like to talk about different things.  While guys can sit around all day and talk about sports or cars, women are more interested in celebrity gossip and fashion.  The key here is to learn a little bit about fashion or maybe keep up a tiny bit on what is going on in the celebrity world.  The easiest way to learn how to talk to women, is actually to spend more time around them (again, it is great to surround yourself with women that you are NOT interested in).  Don’t discount someone just because you are not attracted to them physically.

OK I know I said 11, but here is one more. 

12. Get out of the house.  This one seems obvious, but many people hole themselves up and think about their next move or how they should be living their life.  Instead actually get out and experiment with your life.  Do things you normally wouldn’t do.  Hit up a local jazz bar and relax and take in the music.  Maybe go to a Hockey game for the first time, or grab a Frisbee and head to the park.  Another thing that is fun is to explore a town near you.  In New York this meant walking to a part of town you’ve never been to, but for most people this will mean driving to a town near them and just walking around and checking it out.  You never know what you will find or who you will meet.

These simple changes to your life will not only make your life one of abundance, but it will increase the women in your life, making it that much easier to finally meet the type of woman that you want to spend your time with.  Remember, choice is good and this will give you many opportunities to choose the type of women in your life.