PUA Forum Blog

I just got this great article from my friend Mark Manson (Entropy PUA):

“Hey honey, can I pee in your butt?”

I stood there horrified as my friend shouted this at literally every attractive girl who came within five feet of us. It was early in 2006, I had just discovered all of the exciting secrets that PUA had to offer and had just started going out to apply it.

As another aspect of my education, I decided to start hanging out with a couple guys who got laid more than anyone else I knew. The idea was that I’d go out with them, study what they said to women in their interactions and then emulate it.

Enter my friend Matt and “Can I pee in your butt?” Matt was a guy I briefly met once through a friend, but his reputation was widely known. He was in a rock band, had tattoos down his arms, and banged girls like it was his job. I had run into him by chance a week or two earlier and this was my first time hanging out with him for a whole night.

It’s human nature to become dogmatic in our beliefs. There are right and wrong things to eat, right and wrong ways to drive, right and wrong jobs to have and right and wrong things to say. We’re programmed to think in these terms for no other reason than that it’s simpler and requires for less effort than dealing with the spectra, grey-areas and nuances of every tiny behavior.

This applies to picking up girls as much as anything else. In fact, when most of us get into this, our first inclination is to hunt down the “right” things to say and do, and avoid the “wrong” things that we’ve been doing all of our lives. Products are sold to us as the “correct” ways to behave to attract women. Success is defined as a very black/white concept, when it’s not at all. It’s entirely subjective.

Reality is fuzzy. And realizing that it’s fuzzy is not always a pleasant experience.

As you can imagine, every girl ran away in horror at the “Can I pee in your butt?” comment. Matt was drunk and I was seriously questioning what the hell I was even doing out with him.

But then something funny happened. A couple girls laughed. And then suddenly another girl actually hung around and kept talking to us.

Needless to say, back in 2006, there wasn’t anything written in PUA manuals about how to transition out of a “Can I pee in your butt?” opener. So I stood there awkward and confused waiting to see how my friend would recover. Next thing I know Matt is talking about how he’s going to lick her butthole… OK, fuck this, I’m getting a drink. I don’t want to be associated with this guy when he gets thrown out.

About ten minutes later, Matt finds me, and surprisingly he’s got his arm around the girl he had been talking to.

“Hey man, we’re heading back to her place, it was great hanging out, we should do it again some time.”

To this day, this was one of the most pivotal nights of my entire journey and development. Was it that I learned that “Can I pee in your butt?” is the right thing to say? No, it’s that I learned that it’s not necessarily always wrong.

And by proxy, that means that most of what I had supposed were right things to say may not always be right — including pick up advice and material. A problem that I run into with guys constantly is that when things go wrong, they immediately assume that it’s due to their poor execution, when in fact, perhaps the advice they received may have been bad advice, given their situation or for that particular girl.

There’s no right or wrong; just better or worse. And how you navigate that better/worse is what “having game” actually is: understanding when teases or aggressive escalation is appropriate and when it’s not; knowing when to relate and connect with her and when not to.

The actual doing it is just doing it.

Check out more of Mark’s information at his: Get Girls Guaranteed Online Coaching Program