Today I want to talk to you about the number one tool in your flirting arsenal; Role Plays.
Role plays are really good for flirting because role plays are pure emotional communication, which means they’re playful, They assume a relationship because you’re creating this fun fantasy role play relationship. They are familiar, they create an “us versus them dynamic”, they’re not too deep and you can nonverbally communicate why you do them. Which is basically everything you want in your flirting.
So role plays are awesome for flirting. Role plays, in fact, are one of the few things that Hollywood gets right when they are depicting scenes of flirting or scenes where a man meets a woman, or a woman meets man. For the most part they are crap but Sex in the City and various movies that I’ve seen have gotten the role play right. Hollywood gets that when you play around like this and you create this fun, fantasy scenarios you, are flirting.
I want to talk about two specific types of role plays today. The past and future adventurous projection, so we are going to start in the past, as we should, with what a past future projection is. So what a past projection is, and I personally think past projections are a little flirtier, they assume a little bit more of a relationship because you’re going to create this fun scenario that happened in the past between you and her. Usually with the two of you as a couple.
So my favorite one of these is the: I cheated on her with a Spanish milk maid, so I’ll go if it’s a group:
“You know girls, there’s something you don’t know, Sarah and I actually dated and I’m not too proud of this but I actually cheated on her, you know. It’s not my fault though because I did the math and statistically like this was my really only one chance to sleep with a Spanish milk maid, so I had to jump on that, but I do feel bad about it, you know, and I promise I’ll never do it again.”
At this point, one of two things is going to happen. The girl is going to play along and be like: yeah, I cheated on you with a pool boy; or something like that, that’s usually what they say though, or she will like mock-cry or something, and now you know she’s flirting. I like that one a lot because there’s just an instant reaction: either she’s going to flirt or she’s not.
Future adventurous projections I like to do, again, ones that assume relationships that are real. Like I don’t like to do the ones that are like:
“I’m going to put you on a spaceship and make you my space princess,”
“I’m going to put you in a devil suit and walk you down the street”
Because I guess like at a base, base level, psychologically something is happening there, maybe, but to me I’d much rather make it more realistic and something that we can kind of play into.
So I’d be like:
“ you know what, you’re going to be my girlfriend for the next five minutes, so we should create a whole relationship including breakup into five minutes, so we had better get started. How do we meet, and I’ll just go through this whole role playing, fun, tongue-in-cheek scenario and I don’t have a specific way it goes down, it depends on the situation. It could be in the bookstore, and I was making fun of you because you were reading Rush Limbaugh’s book. Or I was making fun of you because you were reading Spanish Vogue, didn’t really realize it was in Spanish because you were just looking at pictures; and we were on our first date to the mall, and then blah-blah-blah”
I hope by now you see the power of role-plays and also the value of keeping your role-plays a little more realistic in order to assume more of a relationship and move things forward.