When it comes to meeting, attracting and seducing women, very few skills matter more than flirting. In fact most of the techniques taught by various PUA and dating gurus are just ways to flirt competently.
So what does it mean to flirt?
My definition of flirting is the act of playfully making a romantic or sexual overture or assumption when talking to a woman you’re attracted to.
I know that’s a mouthful, so let’s break it down piece by piece.
The first thing to learn, is that flirting is PLAYFUL. You can’t flirt when you’re being overly serious. You want to learn to think of flirting as playing a fun game. That way, you won’t take yourself, or any girl’s reactions too seriously.
Now the second part of my definition of flirting, involves making a romantic or sexual overture towards a woman you’re attracted to. That means you’re going to need to let the woman know you’re interested in her.
This is where most guys screw up royally!
The first mistake guys make here, happens when guys learn how to be playful, but they NEVER let the girl know they’re hitting on her. If you want to hook up with a girl, you’re going to have to let her know you’re attracted to her at some point. A lot of guys never do this, and instead end up in the dreaded and inescapable “friend zone.”
The second mistake guys make when it comes to flirting is that they convey their interest in the girl in the WRONG way.
Either they get really needy, and tell the girl how much they like her and want her to be their girlfriend before they’ve even kissed.
Or they express their SEXUAL interest too early. They think that as soon as the girl is somewhat interested in them it’s time to start trying to get sexual.
They don’t understand that women get aroused more slowly than men do, and they need a little more prep time, before they’re ready to get sexual.
So how does one flirt effectively?
My favorite way to flirt is to use what I call a statement of intent. Statements of intent involve letting the girl know playfully what you to expect from you down the line.
For example one of my favorite ways to flirt is to say something like:
“You’re really cute, you better stop laughing at my jokes or I will totally start hitting on you.”
This lets the girl know playfully that if we keep talking and she keeps laughing I’m going to assume she’s interested and try to escalate the interaction. If a girl laughs here or doesn’t say anything she is agreeing and passively giving me permission to move the conversation forward towards either setting up a date or trying to get her home with me that night.
Hopefully this article has clarified the idea of flirting for you.
Best,
Jon Sinn
—> Learn more about Jon Sinn here. <—
