blown number close

Ok so i noticed an acquaintance of mine on facebook became single. Rough break up after a long a relationship. Just going through a break up of sorts myself i decided to chat with her seeing as i had my eye on her. I knew she was going to have a shield up because we dont know each other well and my recent break up was my way through it. Here it goes...

ok nvm i just realized i lost the chat so i will summarize.

opened with casual how are you etc. Then i brought up her having a rough week and she said yea but kept it short. I told her i was in the same boat and briefly told her my situation. Because of this she opened up and told me much more. We made some jokes about it and i said yea it even sucks because its cold so its hard to go out because no one wants to. She said she went out this weekend but it wasnt that good because of carrying a coat etc. I asked where she went. One of the bars she mentioned i had gone to before and they happen to have a mechanical bull. i asked if she had ridden it but she said no she just likes to watch people fall off. I said oh then we have to go and you are riding the bull! She said her making a fool out of herself dancing was enough.

Thats the basic summary. My transitions from getting her to open up to Escalating to us going out together were really smooth and playful.

The problem here is that i was talking to one of my friends as well. I decided to ask his opinion on my Number Close and she logged off facebook while i was in chat with him. DOH! huge screw up because without the number close my intentions were probably not perceived as more than friends.

What i was going to say "hey i have to go but give me your number because we are going to xxxxxx this weekend and you are riding the bull."

Now i have to try to salvage this and im looking for the best way to. Hopefully i can catch her online again before the weekend and i want to say something like. "hey you went offline before i could get your number. blah blah something about the bull"? Im thinking i can throw in that she would look sexy on it too somehow that way its clear what my intentions are.

help please!

If she gets online I would neg her for ending your conversation without giving you the courtesy of a goodbye. Then when she apologizes say something about going to that place and tell her she can make it up to you by going. If she is at all into you she will go.

I think you have 2 options:

Option 1 is to just pretend it never happened...pretend that she actually said "I gotta run, ttyl" And next time she's online start up a new convo. Mentioning she went offline will sub-communicate that it affected you or bothered you. Right now you're just chatting on Facebook...it's not like she flaked on meeting up with you.

Option 2 is to use a "reopener" that puts you both on the same high-value level. For example: "What happened? I just realized we were totally flowing and then our busy lives got in the way." Then continue the convo.


By the way, Bill is adding a Facebook Forum soon since it's getting so popular.

I think I also wouldn't invest so much in her. You both are like a recipe for disaster. If you have fun together, one of you might end up being on the rebound. Having a thing in common is cool, but it's not so if the thing in common is a breakup.

I would avoid talking about your respective relationships altogether at this point, first of all, that's asking for LJBF and it is nothing but bad vibes anyway, she wants to forget, not dwell on bad $hit.

Ignoring the fact that she took off on you is 'safer' but there's an opportunity to build some attraction if you give her $hit about it and are completely sarcastic. Get her number when she's stimulated, bull$hit for another couple minutes so it doesn't seem like so much of a hit and run. Also you could use it to open her next time instead of 'hey how ya doin' or something boring. I'd be more likely to ignore it and avoid the risk of appearing needy. Open with 'hey brat' or something playful, or something interesting that happened to you that day. Nothing wrong with opening with something random and bouncing around a little, it makes for more stimulating conversation.

Oh for sure. That whole relationship deal was over and done with quickly and it was all in a playful manner. I wasnt her shoulder to cry on. I was just using it as a bridge to get to the good stuff. Its not coming up again. Thanks for all the input.