Gf brought up her ex (quick read)

Hey guys, awesome site. Quick question:

My current Gf (3 months) and I had an arguement 2 weeks ago (something she did) but resolved it. She told me yesterday that she thought i would leave her.

So, I saw her myspace today (which i think she wont delete because it is what her ex and her shared) and her status said that she still misses him. (This status was posted the day after the arguement).

Do I bring this up with her? She was engaged to her ex (4 years together and her first love). I started dating her 9 months after they broke up (he cheated and had a kid with another girl).

Or do i suck it up and wait to bring it up until the relationship gets serious? I like this girl a lot and am willing to give her time.

Dude, I would not tolerate that whatsoever.

I broke up with my fiance of almost 3 years in September. I didn't pull that crap, and I can honestly say I loved her, and I loved her until the end. I am still financially broke because of that relationship, even though I got her a job and did so much more for her. A few days after the break up, I hit the ground running, because I'm stable and there is no use living in the past, although I occasionally experience short pangs of depression (they are less and less as I meet other girls) and a little anger. The point is, I got the heck over it, and it was a real throttle to my world, just as much if not more so than this girl experienced I bet.

This girl has some issues, and she is EMOTIONALLY cheating on you. She ought to sever such ties like MySpace, if she is mentally healthy, and make a new one. Saying she misses him is publicly insulting you, it's disgracing your honor publicly. I would not stand for such disrespect if a girl did that to me. I would honestly dump her ASAP, unless I slept with her (personal thing - religious obligation for me).

If this girl truly cared about you in any way, she would not have said she missed her ex, especially publicly. She honestly does not care about you, she is merely using you as some person to fill her void slightly. You need to man-up and get over it, and realize there is someone out there for you, and not take this. Suck it up and dump her, or in the very least, tell her that her behavior is unnacceptable and if she does not delete that MySpace and never pull such a stunt again, and get rid of other ties to the guy, you're dumping her ASAP. Don't be mean, don't be angry, don't be emotional. Just stand up for yourself and get the job done, and move on.

thanks for the quick reply. To be specific she said "you are my heart always and forever" which is worse yeah, BUT she could be talking about her deceased mother (7 years ago). I dont want to bring it up with her and for her to be like "that was about my mom, why are you checking up on me like that?"

But in reality, i think it was about her ex. Yeah I need to man up and leave, she's really just a broken girl. I'm all she has now (no friends, really). Sort of feel bad for the girl.

Wish you the best Raven

I wish you the best as well. Remember, while we're to care for others as ourselves, that means caring for ourselves properly too. And that means we shouldn't let people with problems bring us down, or try to fix others, especially when they disrespect us. If you need help finding a new one, there's the PUA Forums, and I highly recommend Steve Nash's eBook - even if you're good with girls, it's got therapeutic value.

hey just throwing this out there but "you are in my heart always and forever" that was the whole post? first you said that she said that she misses him then u said that quote was the whole post.. which was it? If she thought u were gonna leave her maybe it was about YOU?

She posted the status " u r my heart always and forever"

Myspace has a status thing and that was her status. As always,

her mood is "heartbroken" and it says she is single. Yeah, that's a

lot of extra info. I would rather her keep it like that because if her

ex sees she is happy or "in a relationship" he may contact her.

But it wasnt directed towards me. She says she has strong feelings

for me but I told her dont say the l-word, wait for me to say it. I

dont love her, its only been 3 months.

Sounds depressing, and she sounds like a depressing person to be with. Are you just gonna make her stay "single" forever? What could happen if he contacted her? I wouldn't worry about any GF's exes contacting them again - either I solidify a girl's loyalty to the utmost prior to entering a relationship, or they do something which disqualifies themselves from my company, so I have nothing to fear. Either they will blow him off and tell me about it, or they'll play namby pamby games and I can move on, although like I said, I make sure a girl is loyal first.

No woman in their right mind considers going back to some guy who had a baby with some other girl. I mean, if your wife goes and bangs some dude and has his baby, are you ok with that? Would you still publicly announce your longing for her on Facebook or MySpace?

well for the update: I talked to her. She said it was about her ex and that he will always have a bit of her heart.

That pissed me off but she said she does not speak with him. The ex tries to email her occasionally but she does not reply.

But then she genuinely said that I'm the best thing thats ever happened to her and later started crying while we were sleeping saying she fears I will leave her.

She said she will never get with her ex again and that even her family would come after him if he tried to approach.

I told her she needs a new myspace cuz the old one has the past written all over it and she said ok. I'm going to hang in there but she's on a very short leash.

I wouldn't take that "always in my heart" crap bro. That girl is sending you mixed signals. Take the signal that is the most negative - that's the true broadcast. Trust me. The rest is "girl Fluff," emotional communication girls broadcast in order to emotionally influence a man. I totally made that term up, because I don't know the real one. Anyway, I'd dump her. She can't love you fully when she keeps a bit of ANOTHER MAN in her heart. She will always partially be loving another man. She thinks about him so much she put it in her status.

This girl is HIGH maintenance bro. I know we focus on what number HB a girl is and seduction and all that so often, but as a man who has been around the block, I have to say, when looking for an LTR, this seriously sounds like the kind of girl you do not have one with. Seriously. I hope some other guys read this and post to concur, so it doesn't seem like I am merely one negative opinion. I'd bet most guys here would tell you drop her. Her integrity, strength, and contention are iffy at the least.

Check this one out bro!

The girl I broke off my engagement with told me she would always keep a bit of some other guy in her heart. 3 years later, who do you think she cares about, me or that guy? Guess.