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Dating Advice

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Old 04-09-2011, 10:44 PM
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Default back to the way we were?

his girl i work with and i have been flirting here and there for a few months.
nothing serious. just the typical back and forth. we like each other - it's obvious.

so i told her i'd teach her to drive and took her out at lunch a few times. about
a week ago she says thanks and looks at me with this lusty look in her eye. so
we kiss.

so for the last couple of weeks we've been going out for a drive, parking and
making out for about a half hour. i think this could go to the next step soon.

also this week she's been texting me , telling me she misses me and this and
that. flirting and sh1t.

oh yeah, she's married and so am i. My relationship is on the rocks and i'm not
too sure about hers.

so today she texts me and says that she wants us to go back to when we were
"solo amigos". she speaks mostly spanish - i speak mostly english but i can
get by. I know the basics in spanish.

So i call her. I was already having a bad day. And she says basically that she
just wants to be friends, that it;s better, that we need to stop before we go
to far. And I tell her no. I can't be friends, i dont want to be friends. That I want
to hang out with her.

we're supposed to talk about this on monday.

i really like this girl, I like being her friend, but I can't go back to being "just friends"
we're beyond that I told her we're "mas que amigos".

What's your advice on this. I'll take it from a PUA point of view or even some kind
of dating advice.

I need to decide what I want out of this but while I think on that I look forward to seeing
what you all have to say.


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Old 04-09-2011, 11:21 PM
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Default Re: back to the way we were?

Im not going to help. You are married, she is married.


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Old 04-09-2011, 11:32 PM
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Default Re: back to the way we were?

i understand.

i don't know what the hell i'm doing.


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Old 04-09-2011, 11:37 PM
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Default Re: back to the way we were?

i read through some of your posts LearningLegend (the ones about the married woman on a break) and I gotta agree.

but i'm not saying i want sex. i just like spending time with this girl and the making out is nice but sex is something different and something I really don't think i'd do. not while I'm married.

i just don't think I can go to being a little more than friends to being "only friends" i also don't want to cut her out. she's a great girl and a good person.


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Old 04-09-2011, 11:49 PM
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Default Re: back to the way we were?

This is beyond PUA.

This is jerry springer/Dr. Phil territory.

Only way would be to talk to her about it. Let her know what your thinking. Weigh up the pro's and cons.

You have to ask yourself. How would your wife and her husband feel about this relationship?


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Old 04-09-2011, 11:54 PM
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Default Re: back to the way we were?

i've got some thinking to do.

this is good advice man. i like that people here cut to the chase.

much appreciated.


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Old 05-04-2011, 02:37 AM
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Default Re: back to the way we were?

Hey...I have no any idea about this thread.


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Old 05-04-2011, 03:52 AM
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Default Re: back to the way we were?

Quote:
Originally Posted by wllmford7 View Post
Hey...I have no any idea about this thread.
-10 rep points haha.

I would like to know how this turned out.


Updates


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Old 05-25-2011, 12:40 AM
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Default Re: back to the way we were?

This whole tale just get's weirder. I'll try to break it down evenly.

When we last off - this relationship was pretty much over. I let it be and went on about my life. Had lunch alone. Tried to avoid her. I was kind of upset and it showed but I was cordial. So little by little we start flirting again. Catching each other's eye. Waving.

Then she texts me that she misses my kisses. That she misses me. I tell her she can have them whenever she wants. I know - not a good thing to say. But I meant it so I said it. She won't go out with me at lunch but we meet up at work in dark corners for a quick kiss. It seems like we're back on track. It seems playing it cool works. Yay.

And then she doesn't come to work one day. And people are kidding around. Congratulating me. I don't know what's up. Eventually one of her friends tells me that the girl is pregnant. It's not mine but you know how people are. I didn't believe it until later that same day The Girl texts me that she has to tell me something. That she's pregnant.

I really do like her so I say that's fine - that it doesn't change the way I feel. Blah Blah. I meant it - so I said it. I knew she wanted a kid, and I knew I couldn't give that to her, and I knew our relationship was just a fling, and I wanted to screw her. And I was trying to work my way to that and didn't want to eff up the momentum. She's about 6 weeks into her pregnancy.

So she comes back to work the next day and she tells me that her being pregnant HAS to change the way I feel. We go off to talk and we don't freaking talk much. I like to talk things out and figure things out and she just wants to make out. But I tell her that I like her, and I'd like to be there for her, and that whatever. You know, I just want to be in her life. I say what I mean. And I hate goodbyes and I hate endings. So it seems we've come tot an agreement.

Next day she doesn't come to work. She fell and her doctor puts her on bed rest. I call her. Ask her if she needs anything. She's fine. I was supposed to see her the following monday but don't cause she has Dr. appointments.

She comes into work on Tuesday for a lunch. I almost lure her to a spot for a quick make out. I can tell she wants to come but someone sees her. We make eyes at the lunch and then she leaves.

We text a bit the next few days. Now that I think about it I would make first contact. Hmm. But the texts go well. She gets jealous of things people are saying about me. I assure they're lies. She believes me. We flirt. She calls me corazon. She wants me to teach her things. She's kind of young. I tell her I'll teach her all kind of things.

And then something happened this weekend. I'm not sure what. But she doesn't return my texts. I text maybe 4 times a day. I don't try too much. But I send a few. We talk a couple of times. It seems her husband or whatever he is has her on lockdown. He's sent her to her sisters in Las Vegas. It's understandable. Afterwards she wouldn't answer my call.

And then today happens. Her friends, the ones that really know her, and I guess have a soft spot for me start telling me all kind of sh1t cause they see I'm a little worked up over not hearing from her.

They tell me she's a player. That she was with a guy at work. All I got was kisses, this guy got the whole thing. Bastard. Not sure if it was before me or during me. Not that it matters. I had no claim on her, she can do what she wants. They tell me she goes after whatever guy she wants and normally gets him. That she likes to play. They're her friend and they say she's no good. I find out she's not even in Vegas. I think she told me that so I wouldn't go by her place. This is understandable. They try to convince me to let it go.

I was thinking two things. 1. Games are fun. This girl puts out and I want some of that after she has the baby. And deep down I do care for her. She's coming back to work so I'll be patient and see what happens when she comes back. I'll play the game.

2. This sucks. I suck. I feel used. I feel like a schmoe. I got what I deserved. I want revenge. Let the bitch go and go on with my life.

I go with thought number 1. I text her that she may not here from me for a while, that I need to figure things out, and I thank her for being a good friend. I tell her I'll talk to her later.

She texts back immediately. "I don't understand" I tell her again. I need to figure sh1t out. I'm stressed and confused. I really do need some space. She texts back for me to relax, forget my problems and to forget her, and to enjoy my family.

I tell her that I don't want to forget her. I just need some time.

The conversation goes on a bit and then she tells me that she has already forgotten me and is happy.

I tell her I don't believe her, that it's not that easy. She says it's true, sorry, and that if she can do it I can do it too. Bye And now I'm here seeking advice.

What would you do?
I like the girl and am a little pissed some guy screwed her before me? I want to know who the guy was, how he did it, and if she's worth it. I shouldn't have taken so long. I'm an idiot.
From past experience this girl just says things. So I think if I give her space she'll come back to me. I don't know if I want her but I'd like to know I can Get Her Back.
Should I be patient or should I tear sh1t up. I could wait for her to come back to me or wait for her to come back to work and see how it goes.

I want to go to her house. I know that if she sees me she wouldn't be able to resist me but I don't want to screw up a future chance.

Plus I know she's pregnant and fragile and I want that to turn out well for her so I'll do my best to cause too much stress on her.

I don't know. I'm pretty certain of what I should do. But what are your thoughts guys? Go easy on me - I already know I'm an idiot.


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Old 05-25-2011, 01:01 AM
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Default Re: back to the way we were?

Correction:

I'll do my best to NOT cause too much stress on he.r


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