I know there were no chapters 1 or 2. Sue me.

Went to fav bar, opened bartender and another guy there, having a good time. I was flirting, I got distracted by the fact that the bartender clearly knew she was hot sh1t and was wearing a shirt with an open back (the only point was to broadcast that she wasn't wearing a bra). Got a little rattled, but found out I had a good time keeping conversations going generally when I focused on joking around with the other dude and only occasionally throwing a funny comment her way or listening when she interjected. She calls me "Magic Hat" because that's my favorite beer and because that's the only thing I order ever.

Finished one beer at bar 1, went to bar 2 (across the street), opened a really cool 60 year old dude. Next to me were two unbelievably drunk girls, I ignored them and focused on cool older dude. I did turn around and jump into the girls' conversation. I honestly don't remember anything about it, other than they were both hammered and they seemed to be into me. One girl insisted that it was impossible to get her to laugh, in spite of the fact that I had no trouble whatsoever. They left and said "see you at Bar 3," I roll my eyes because bar 3 has a terrible reputation as a total skank fest and one that I would never go to.

After bar 2, I go back to bar 1, have another beer. There is one girl (other than the bartender) and 10 guys, but I manage to open the girl. I'm totally thrown off my game once I see her thong peaking out from over her jeans, though. I try to fake it and joke a lot, at one point she laughs and says, you're totally full of sh1t. I laugh really hard, because I was totally just saying the most ridiculous things about myself ever, bragging about things I had obviously never done with kindof a wry grin. Before I go, I tell her she has huge balls and I ask her where she got them. She laughed and asked me my name, and I tell her, but I go back to telling her about her huge balls (when we were bantering, she was giving as well or better than she was getting). I don't even remember what either of us said, other than I told her she should wear looser jeans because I could see her big balls and her great big cock straining against them. I have no idea why I said that, but she laughed.

I go to bar 3 (the one I swore I never said I'd go to; it's more of a club, really), mostly to look for the two drunk girls from bar 2 (total p***y behavior, I know). I don't find them, and I just kinda walk around for a while aimlessly. I notice other guys obviously not having a good time—just kinda standing off to the side of the dance floor, watching the girls, closed off body language, obviously wishing they were dancing with the girls—and I think to myself, man, that's been me most of my life, and to some extent, that's me now. I wander around for like 30 minutes, occasionally doing the super-wimpy pretending-to-text-or-take-a-phone-call thing. Then, when I walk around, I say to myself, obviously my head isn't right, the more quickly I can stop thinking, the better. I walk around 10 more minutes, but I try to have a not caring smirk. I ask a few girls to dance, they say no. I try to start dancing around some other girls, they close me out. Finally I say, ok, fark it, I'm just gonna be ridiculous. My signature move (which has worked for me in the past) is to overexaggerate and bend over and start rubbing my butt on a girl or get in between agroup of girls and just grind my butt into her crotch while bending as far forward as possible, obviously joking. I do this one in a group of three unattractive girls, they love it.

Here's the thing, I totally force myself to stop thinking and just do it, I get out of my head, it works, I realize it works, I immediately get back into my head, girls immediately stop responding, I eject. I'm in my head for 10 or so minutes, going back to walking around the club. After 10 minutes or so, I say, screw it, I ridiculously break into groups of girls, they laugh, I get back into my head, they stop responding, I eject. I broke into this one two set of girls who were dancing together and were super hot, who were obviously intimidating a lot of guys. I jump between them, immediately start grinding into one of them, take her hand and have her start spanking me as I dance, then I do it to the other, they love it. I dance with them for a while, alternating, they're having a good time, obviously being like "oh my god who is this ridiculous, funny person." I begin to get into my head, I eject. I repeat the same process, and every now and then I just go back and join these same two girls. Often, other guys will start dancing with them, and they will be closer to us, and they'll say "sorry, we already found the hottest guy in the club." I'm out of my own head until they say this, and then I'm back into my own head as soon as they say it, because I realize that it's working. I do this to a few other sets, I get totally blown out by one girl who is just a prude and says "I have a boyfriend and you're rude." As soon as she starts this, I just turn away and ignore her; I've realized that some girls are just going going to be biotches (see my valentine's day FR).

What I've learned from this:
1. It's a number's game, some girls are just going to shoot you down.
2. As much as possible, don't worry about it and approach, being ridiculous like you just don't care. The times when I said "I know this isn't going to work, so I'm just going to be ridiculous, make them laugh, and leave," it worked 2/3 of the time. When it didn't, I ejected and just let it Roll Off.
3. Success requires getting out of your own head, but once you recognize your own success, you get back into your own head. I hate this: as soon as you realize you're out of your head, you're back into your head.
4. I've still got aa, but when I can just suck it up and go through it, I can get some results. Approaching and being high energy is a good thing.
5. One of the two super hot girls was into me, but I couldn't escalate. This is fantastic: I've never had the problem of someone I just met being attracted to me but not knowing what to do about it. The problem I normally have is not even getting people attracted to me in the first place, because I don't even approach.
6. When I try really hard to seem like I care because, deep down, I really do care, I come off as arrogant and rude. The one girl in bar 3 didn't like it, the one girl in bar 1 (with the whale tail) thought it was fun, and was rude right back. With time, I'll be able to calibrate to this.
7. My ex called me while I was at bar 2. (I got into the game, like so many other guys, because of a massive case of one-itis. Tonight was actually the one-year anniversary of being dumped by my ex, and I've spent a year moping about it and being a p***y, still hung up on her. By the way, I remember the date and time (9:42 pm) that I was dumped, very vividly, so yeah, massive one-itis.) When she called, I DIDN'T ANSWER. LET ME REPEAT: I DIDN'T ANSWER. I LET IT GO TO VOCIEMAIL, AND I DIDN'T LISTEN TO THE VOICEMAIL. I STILL HAVEN'T. WINNING.

8. I have a few reference points to build from. Ironically, while I've gotten better at approaching groups of women in bars, the same group of women would scare the hell out of me on the dance floor. I just have to remember to do it.

I wrote this for myself (writing things up helps so much, and this is only my third time going out), but I would welcome any encouragement or feedback from others.