This afternoon and evening I went alone to Brussels to talk to people on the street and in cafes, probably one of the more difficult things I've done. My first day sarging.
My only goal was to pluck up courage and start a converastion with at least 5 people.
I have Approach Anxiety even just casually starting a conversation with guys I have never met. I approached 12 people today. It was ball crushing. I have always been afraid of rejection and here I was subjecting myself to it big time. My biggest hurdle is approaching and talking to women who I really want to talk to, women who look interesting and radiate an inner beauty. I did go and start speaking to more women than guys. What I realise is that self confidence comes from a will to be confident and then practice, actually going out and doing it. I am more interested in learning a skill and dealing with fear more than anything else. It became clear just how much I have to learn and work on my self esteem. Most women were cool, they answered my questions politely or gave their opinion and then said bye. Only one or two seemed put out/afraid because I approached them. One dude I got chatting to was really cool, also he was chuffed that I just went up to him and started a conversation.
As HB6 stood next to me at the bar waiting for her order, I said, "You are dressed very colourfully, all in blue and red" I noticed I was also dressed in blue and red and said, "yeah blue and red are my favourite colours". She turned looked me in the eye touched my arm and said, " I must go" She seemed to know exactly what I was up to and dug it but could'nt stay to play. (That's what I am assuming)
A couple of other women also enjoyed it that I opened with them and also touched me on my arm apologetically because they could not carry on the conversation and left.
Then a HB7 stood next to me also waiting for her drinks order, she was young, early thirties. (I'm early fifties!). I was almost choking with fear to open to her. My ego telling me I was too old, ugly and a randy, twisted pervert. Faark.. I couldn't do it. Eventually I found something to say and that was all she needed and immediately began a conversation. I kid you not, she transformed before my eyes. She was a plain looking, nothing that really stood out, not her vibe or her looks. As she started talking her eyes opened wide and sparkled, she started smiling and enjoying herself and suddenly looked stunning.
She was in the middle of a meeting with some other woman who came over to see what was taking her so long getting drinks. I was introduced to the buddy before they left.
I really want to be charming, confident, funny and engaging at the drop of a hat and get rid of the fear that prevents me using this potential. I suppose I could call it "building charisma."
I also now know I want to be able to go up and speak to anybody not only gorgeous woman. (At one point I got to hugging and having a short conversation with a beggar) If I find the woman attractive only then will i ask her for her number and follow it up with a call. I understand better now how to play the game and remain a gentleman at all times.
I look forward to your comments and advice,