FR – Sexual Healing
Friday, March 10th, 2012
It is currently 8:14 AM the next day. As I type this through my all-nigher haze, my wing, Ace, sleeps in my car. Guess he's getting too old for this shit. I get away with sleeping in the car, but a black man in a Starbucks parking lot? We'll have to see.
Last night was random. At Hydro's recommendation, we went out at about 11 PM to this weird club where they wouldn't let us bring Chapstick inside. Or mints. Weird. Think it would make for some gross makeouts. Luckily, I was wearing my signature combat boots, so that shit got smuggled. They did, however, take my condom case. Fucking weird.
Anyways, we were only at the club for about two hours before they ended up closing it early due to multiple fights and a knockout on the dance floor. Pretty fucking lame. By this point, we had each made out with a couple honeys and snagged some contact info.
Outside of the club, we managed to get into a car with one bangin' and one cutie-style chick. We were posted up in the parking lot trying to figure out logistics for the night when the cops rolled up and yelled at us with their car bullhorn, telling us to leave immediately, etc. I call that a Cop Block. It sucks dick.
So me and Ace bounce out to my trusty Subaru Forester. We're still in a good mood. We go to a Denny's to grab some late night eats.
This is where the night really begins.
Our server is a cute lil honey. Ace instantly starts macking on her. I keep my mouth shut; He opened, so I consider it his set. But when she leaves to put in our order, Ace informs me that we're going for the threesome. Me and Ace of this brotherly love thing where we will share the glory of our combined sexual prowess with one lucky woman. Not only is this ultra-kind, but it makes it ridiculously easy to pull.
So when she comes back, I start gaming her as well. Me and Ace really amp up the sexual state. This is one of the only pickups that I've done in which virtually NO role-playing took place. It was just fucking raw sex. It was dangerous. And it worked like a charm.
I go out to the car to clean it up a bit so we can pull. I throw in a bitchen' CD (Plans by Deathcab for Cutie) and fix that shit up into a pussy magnet.
I come back in and we continue our thang. We learn that she lives with her “Crazy boyfriend” (Crazy is a fucking understatement as we come to find out. This girl needs some serious sexual healing and a paradigm shift, enough to empower her to leave her unhealthy relationship). Like midway through the meal, the waitress straight up asks if she can get a ride home with us. Dope. Thanks for handling logistics, hun.
We go out for a smoke before hopping into the Subi and driving to her place, me driving, her in passenger, and Ace riding “right nut” (aka right behind her). I tell her that I need to pee. She says her BF is at home, and he would “kill her” if we came up (probably NOT an understatement, as it turns out. The dude checks the time she clocks out from work, has cameras set up in her house so she can't bring guys OR girls over, has physically abused her and gone to jail for it, etc etc etc. It's really fucked and she deserves much better). So I tell her she has to at least stay in the car and chat for “one minute and thirty seven seconds” (credit: Vince Kelvin). We end up all chatting for about an hour all told. This girl seriously is a sweet girl with a lot to offer. Overall, I feel sad for her situation. The conversation bounces back and forth between serious and sexual. Ace gives her a back message. She gives me a message.
I realize that I need to give Ace some solo time so we can bring this shit to the next level, so I step into the alleyway to take a piss. I'm only out there for the duration of a short piss, but, in classic Ace style, they've made out by the time I get back in. We drive her up to her apartment complex where we all get out to say goodbye. Me and Ace both kiss close. Her, not each other. Don't be gay.
We have a day-2 set up with this girl for Tuesday. She'd better disable her cameras and shit, cuz I'm not trying to get stalked by some random psychotic boyfriend.
This is the type of guy that could really benefit from some pick-up coaching. Maybe it would teach him to respect women.
My goal (and Ace's) is to help this woman realize that there are totally chill badass dudes out there who can fuck better than her man and treat her better overall. Hopefully, she will liberate herself from her unhealthy co-dependency.
I hope I don't sound like an ass. I am very sleepy and should probably review this before I post it.
I wonder what Ace is dreaming about. Maybe a better future where all beds are comfy, spongey trampolines and all men are educated in sex and social dynamics. Where women are treated like the beautiful creatures they are, and chocolate pours from every bullet wound.
Or maybe he's just dreaming of getting it in. Guess I'll never know. He don't talk much.
Will follow up w/ Day 2 report. We're planning on spending the night at her place, or maybe even a couple nights (her dude is gone all week).
Time to go hard.