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  1. #1
    Marbles is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Bad night, but I would like to know where I went wrong

    A little background, my room mate's friend with benefits seemed to be attracted to me. That already seems like a terrible thing to pursue from the start; it complicates things with the room mate and the girl can play the situation to gain power. I do not care about how it affects my room mate, I do not like him so screwing his friend with benefits would be a plus.

    Anyways, she invites a few friends over. I had just hiked so I was planning on doing absolutely nothing for the rest of the night. Once I got home, I showered and ate then plopped my ass in front of the computer in sweats and a worn T-shirt. My headphones on, getting into the music, she knocks lightly on the door (which I do not hear) and walks into my room. I turn around and say "oh hey. What's up?" A friend of hers I've never seen before is peeking in and both are smiling. As she starts to close the door, I realize my hands were down my pants with a nice cuphold on my balls.

    Nice.

    I swap out some clothes and come out to meet the new girls. There were three total, so lets call my room mate's friend with benefits girl A, the one who peeked in girl B, and the other C. I approached the one who peeked in first, and said "Well its always good to meet someone in their natural environment." I extended my head to shake then added "Don't worry, I washed it off first." She laughed then everyone took a few shots.

    My room mate asks me to turn on the fan. I reach up to pull the handle hanging down, but it was like 8 feet up. "Are you serious? There's a switch on the wall." God I hate looking like an idiot in front of girls. "Yeah I don't know where simple shit is in the apartment I've lived in for months either" he added. I didn't even want to fake a smile to try to keep the situation positive when I said "I'm not big boned like you, I never have problems sweating." Unfortunately, the two friends-of-friends were bigger, so the come-back wasn't even as strong. I was about to say fat when I caught myself.

    More on that, I think some hot girls (like girl A) surround themselves with less attractive girls just to boost their own ego. Bitches.

    We end up heading out to go to a club. At this point, I'm around 6 shots in. The first club was fun. A lot of girls were dancing on the bar counter. I mentioned this and girl A said "This group of girls doesn't like that group of girls." I said something like "I suppose you could see it as degrading."

    At this point, I tried to run the strategy of winning the group of girls, not just one.

    The thought crossed my head "Do not buy a single one of them a drink," but I went against my better judgment. I think if I had bought all of them a round it would've been better, but still bad. I singled out the nervous one and said "Hey you don't seem to be having fun, would you like a drink?" I was in no way attracted to her, but I thought it would run well with my strategy. It didn't. I finally got her to dance, then I tried negging her a bit. I don't think it's a good idea to neg girls that have low self esteem, because she seemed very offput. At this point girl D entered the scene.

    I sit down a minute later and girl A stares at me and says "I can't believe you didn't offer her a seat!"

    Now, I felt there is an appropriate way to handle the situation here. I didn't know what it was.

    I got up, there was a spare chair there - and I pointed it out.

    I started talking more to girl C. Girl A said something along the lines of "You should buy her a drink." Another situation I would've loved to know how to handle. I felt like if I said no I would look like an asshole, but if I said yes I would classify myself as a beta who is easily controlled - especially because girl A knew I wasn't attracted to girl B.

    I pulled girl B close and said "If I do this, you owe me a dance." I should have said a kiss on the cheek, I'm terrible at dancing. She said something like "What if I don't want to?" but she was smiling when she said it. I said "Then I won't have to spend 9 bucks on a drink, so I win. "

    We talked a bit on the way to our next club, and things seemed to be going good. As soon as we hit the club though, girl D stole girl B away. I am 90% sure girl D is a hardcore lesbian, so I just got-outgamed by a girl

    The new club sucked. It was a total sausage fest, and the 3 girls I asked to dance shot me down. I don't know if there's a ritual involved before asking a girl to dance, I never go to clubs, but I started getting pissed off at this point. I said something at speaking distance to girl A and placed my hand on her back. She said something like "get out of my face." She took 6 shots with me before we left, so that might have had something to do with it, but it still pissed me off.

    I wish I had said something like "I'm close to you because it's noisy and you couldn't hear me otherwise, but either way if you don't want to talk I'll find people that do." But instead I just walked out.

    A mean drunk started coming on. I usually give my license but I saw the military ID first and gave that to him. He said something like "can I see your state ID? This doesn't have your height and weight on it." I said "It says I'm over 21 and that's all you need to know, but if you're going to be a dick about it I'll go somewhere else." I went to IHOP to chill out and get some coffee - then I just texted girl A and said I was bouncing.

    In hindsight, nothing bad really happened except a few rejections, a little confrontation with a bouncer (which was really my fault), and having to deal with a sausage-fest club (which they didn't want to leave, go figure - 4 chicks) but the 8-9 shots definitely made it worse.

  2. #2
    Stankwagon is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Bad night, but I would like to know where I went wrong

    Hey marbles

    Sorry about your bad night dude! That is the exact reasons why i do not A) Go to clubs and bars for girls, and 2) Drink. I think its important to remember to not get stuck on one girl. I'm not sure if that is really the case with you or not, but if it is, I'd stop. That being said, go out by yourself and sarge man! That is what this forum is all about! Keep a positive attitude. You sound like a great carefree guy! Don't let those girls get you down! There are MILLIONS of other girls waiting to cup your balls.

  3. #3
    SiliconMagician's Avatar
    SiliconMagician is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Bad night, but I would like to know where I went wrong

    Quote Originally Posted by Marbles View Post
    A little background, my room mate's friend with benefits seemed to be attracted to me. That already seems like a terrible thing to pursue from the start; it complicates things with the room mate and the girl can play the situation to gain power. I do not care about how it affects my room mate, I do not like him so screwing his friend with benefits would be a plus.
    LOL I like it..

    Anyways, she invites a few friends over. I had just hiked so I was planning on doing absolutely nothing for the rest of the night. Once I got home, I showered and ate then plopped my ass in front of the computer in sweats and a worn T-shirt. My headphones on, getting into the music, she knocks lightly on the door (which I do not hear) and walks into my room. I turn around and say "oh hey. What's up?" A friend of hers I've never seen before is peeking in and both are smiling. As she starts to close the door, I realize my hands were down my pants with a nice cuphold on my balls.

    Nice.
    LMAO, in your defense it was your private space.

    I swap out some clothes and come out to meet the new girls. There were three total, so lets call my room mate's friend with benefits girl A, the one who peeked in girl B, and the other C. I approached the one who peeked in first, and said "Well its always good to meet someone in their natural environment." I extended my head to shake then added "Don't worry, I washed it off first." She laughed then everyone took a few shots.
    LMAO good recovery!

    My room mate asks me to turn on the fan. I reach up to pull the handle hanging down, but it was like 8 feet up. "Are you serious? There's a switch on the wall." God I hate looking like an idiot in front of girls. "Yeah I don't know where simple sh1t is in the apartment I've lived in for months either" he added. I didn't even want to fake a smile to try to keep the situation positive when I said "I'm not big boned like you, I never have problems sweating." Unfortunately, the two friends-of-friends were bigger, so the come-back wasn't even as strong. I was about to say fat when I caught myself.
    Excellent. He tried to beta you, and you ripped him back and reminded him what a tub of lard he is. Next time he asks you do something in front of women tell him to get his fat ass up and do it himself and don't worry what the girls think.

    More on that, I think some hot girls (like girl A) surround themselves with less attractive girls just to boost their own ego. Bitches.
    Ding! Winner!

    We end up heading out to go to a club. At this point, I'm around 6 shots in. The first club was fun. A lot of girls were dancing on the bar counter. I mentioned this and girl A said "This group of girls doesn't like that group of girls." I said something like "I suppose you could see it as degrading."
    Bull. You should've told Girl A that the girls on the bar were fun looking and the other girls were probably jealous. Then negged her about not being cute enough to join real women like that anyway.

    At this point, I tried to run the strategy of winning the group of girls, not just one.
    Smart..

    The thought crossed my head "Do not buy a single one of them a drink," but I went against my better judgment. I think if I had bought all of them a round it would've been better, but still bad. I singled out the nervous one and said "Hey you don't seem to be having fun, would you like a drink?" I was in no way attracted to her, but I thought it would run well with my strategy. It didn't. I finally got her to dance, then I tried negging her a bit. I don't think it's a good idea to neg girls that have low self esteem, because she seemed very offput. At this point girl D entered the scene.
    Lesson learned. Never neg LSE girls. In fact, if you are going to hit on the LSE girl. The best thing to do is raise her self esteem by comparing her favorably to one of the hotter girls either in her group, or around the club.

    I sit down a minute later and girl A stares at me and says "I can't believe you didn't offer her a seat!"

    Now, I felt there is an appropriate way to handle the situation here. I didn't know what it was.
    "My bad, did you mistake me for a nice guy or something?" another response could've been. "Why don't you offer her your seat and come sit on my lap?"

    I got up, there was a spare chair there - and I pointed it out.
    Should've kept your ass planted right where you were. Once committed to an action, even a "mistake", NEVER go back. Alpha males don't apologize. You getting back up was a worse mistake by far.

    I started talking more to girl C. Girl A said something along the lines of "You should buy her a drink." Another situation I would've loved to know how to handle. I felt like if I said no I would look like an asshole, but if I said yes I would classify myself as a beta who is easily controlled - especially because girl A knew I wasn't attracted to girl B.
    "Buying girls for drinks violates my ethics."

    other responses to the "you should buy her/me a drink"

    "I don't beleive in buying drinks for girls"

    "Why?"

    "I'm a feminist."


    I pulled girl B close and said "If I do this, you owe me a dance." I should have said a kiss on the cheek, I'm terrible at dancing. She said something like "What if I don't want to?" but she was smiling when she said it. I said "Then I won't have to spend 9 bucks on a drink, so I win. "
    Tight.. I like it. Offering a quid pro quo is always alpha. If she wants something from you, she'll have to jump through a hoop.

    We talked a bit on the way to our next club, and things seemed to be going good. As soon as we hit the club though, girl D stole girl B away. I am 90% sure girl D is a hardcore lesbian, so I just got-outgamed by a girl
    Doubtful.. just girls being girls. Girl A was ripping you apart with her sh1t tests and your social value was plummeting. Those girls were running off to find greener pastures.

    The new club sucked. It was a total sausage fest, and the 3 girls I asked to dance shot me down. I don't know if there's a ritual involved before asking a girl to dance, I never go to clubs, but I started getting pissed off at this point.
    Yeah, don't ask them sh1t. If they are sitting, sit. If they are already dancing, then just join in and open them without asking permission. Get out of the idea that you need to ask permission. Alpha males don't ask for sh1t.


    I said something at speaking distance to girl A and placed my hand on her back. She said something like "get out of my face." She took 6 shots with me before we left, so that might have had something to do with it, but it still pissed me off.
    or..she saw you get shot down a bunch of times by foolishly asking permission to dance and your social value had plummeted to that of a slug. She was sh1t testing you the entire night and you didn't realize it. You failed her sh1t tests like when you got up from the chair. You should've negged this bitch and negged her hard. Not the LSE girl. This girl had attraction for you in the beginning of the night and you allowed her to man handle you with sh1t tests. This is your biggest fail of the night. You wanted to know where you went wrong? With Girl A.


    I wish I had said something like "I'm close to you because it's noisy and you couldn't hear me otherwise, but either way if you don't want to talk I'll find people that do." But instead I just walked out.
    She was sh1t faced drunk and obviously in a bitchy mood and you failed her sh1t testing. You did the right thing.

    A mean drunk started coming on. I usually give my license but I saw the military ID first and gave that to him. He said something like "can I see your state ID? This doesn't have your height and weight on it." I said "It says I'm over 21 and that's all you need to know, but if you're going to be a d1ck about it I'll go somewhere else." I went to IHOP to chill out and get some coffee - then I just texted girl A and said I was bouncing.
    Don't blame you.

    In hindsight, nothing bad really happened except a few rejections, a little confrontation with a bouncer (which was really my fault), and having to deal with a sausage-fest club (which they didn't want to leave, go figure - 4 chicks) but the 8-9 shots definitely made it worse.
    Drink less, don't ask permission, and continue to refuse taking people's crap and remember the next time "Girl A" is trying to bust your balls like "offer her a seat", "Buy her a drink" and sh1t like that. Put her in her place and fast. She was sh1t testing you all night long. Now you know what sh1t tests look like. Remember them.

    Don't feel bad. This was a valuable learning lesson. We learn more from failure, than success. Girl A was into you at first and you ended up failing every sh1t test she tossed your way. Don't do it again.

  4. #4
    Marbles is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Bad night, but I would like to know where I went wrong

    Stank: Thanks for the positive feedback man.

    Silicon: I really appreciate the solid advice. That need to ask for permission is farking killer, but I'll work on it.

    Edit: Oh, and I loved this
    In fact, if you are going to hit on the LSE girl. The best thing to do is raise her self esteem by comparing her favorably to one of the hotter girls either in her group, or around the club.

  5. #5
    SiliconMagician's Avatar
    SiliconMagician is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Bad night, but I would like to know where I went wrong

    Quote Originally Posted by Marbles View Post
    Silicon: I really appreciate the solid advice. That need to ask for permission is farking killer, but I'll work on it.
    It's okay man. You've been socially conditioned your entire life to act in a way that USED to work but doesn't work anymore. Being a gentleman only works when done from a position of dominance.

    It was obvious that right off the bat you were not the dominant personality of the group. Girl A was, and she owned you the entire night because of it.

    In the beginning of the night she was hoping you would steal her from that fat tub of lard roommate of yours. She wanted to trade up but she needed to test your alpha credentials in order to assure that the social damage that would ensue to her life was worth the trade up.

    This is great that this happened to you and you were brave enough to post the fail. Now you know what sh1t tests look like. That right there is knowledge guys would pay huge sums of money to know. Remember them and in your off time, try to think of things ahead of time to say in these situations so you have exactly the right thing to say at exactly the right time.

    Another thing is, don't be afraid to offend. Imagine how bad ass you would've looked if you told girl A she wasn't cute enough to join the girls on the bar and since they looked like so much fun you figure you'll go over and say hi and then left her standing there and went over to talk to those girls.

    Chances are to repair the damage she may have even got up on that bar just to prove you wrong!


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