This story happened last Sunday:

So its Sunday Funday, which for me is the holy grail of raging. It starts off with my usual beach day, which was pretty uneventful. It was me and one of my buddies that isn't involved in the community but looks like a Calvin Klein underwear model and has natural game for days.

So we day game with no real prospects or anything worth talking about. We split up go home and meet back up at the bars two seconds away from my condos. While I'm waiting for him I end up number closing an engaged HB7.5 bartender at a fancy restaurant I usually go to for business dinners.

Clearly I'm on my game, sh1ts going to get real tonight. We end up bar hopping for a few hours and just like the beach its dead. My buddy gets agitated and tells me he's taking a taxi home. FAIL. At this point I'm 15 minutes into a conversation with the taxi driving. I'm not going to call Sunday funday off for some frozen tv dinner tonight. I tell him he can do whatever he wants just have the taxi drop me off at this bar I always hit up.

He drops me off and I walk in and go right up to the bar. The bartenders an HB9 and at the time I wasn't sure if she loved me or hated me (went hardcore cocky funny earlier that night.) Anyways, sitting at the bar alone is a blonde HB 7 incredible body about 105 and 5'5...JACKPOT. I sit down right next to instantly order a beer and with in three seconds just say hi and make eye contact. I can tell shes already interested and I hit her with thug or gansta lovin. She loves it and boom I'm in. From there the classic sh1t C Shaped smiles, cube, great connection, disposable lighter repair man, lots of kino, Fluff talk, and boom mystery kiss close. This girl is loving me.

She looks right at me and goes "I hope you're not an asshole." I pause smile and say "I AM. " She laughs flags down the bartender, who at some point throughout the convo, I role play a fake relationship with to get the divorcee jealous, and goes "Is he an asshole?" Oh boy I keep a poker face but I know I'm about to have some real sh1t tests coming my way. The bartender looks at her and goes "He acts like an asshole but for some reason I think hes a really nice guy. " HOLY sh1t looks like cocky funny is on point tonight. Her eyes glass over ... It's on like donkey kong.

So I don't even ask divorcee and just tell the bartender to close us out. She complains and says divorcee has only had one drink. I ignore her and she closes us out. I tell divorcee my apartments a mile up the street and she has to take me home. She agrees and we head towards her SUV. It actually a nice truck but smashed on the passenger side and there's a god damn toy yorkie puppy just sitting on her dash waiting for her. WOW THIS CHICKS NUTS.

She drives me home. I tango my flaccid friend so he sees me leaving with the girl and he just goes "oh fark" call ended. We park at my building and head up to my condo. If you saw my condo you'd probably hate me, that's me being modest. She basically just jaw drops, I'm the total package. When I take her into the guest bedroom overlooking the bridge on the water, we just go at it. I slow her down and lead her to the living room.

We raid my bar and both grab some wine and it's on.

Wash Rinse Repeat.

She puts on my Burberry sweatpants and sits Indian style on my porch over looking the water smoking a cigarette telling her dog how perfect I am. I make note and make sure all firearms are in secure spots throughout my bedroom. This girls nuts and I don't wanna become another gun shot statistic. Its 4am I'm going to bed and she tells me she has to leave to go to court for her divorce tomorrow. LOL. Throws her number in my phone, stands in my doorway as I'm watching Quantam of Solace, just beaming at me and says "THANK YOU SO MUCH"

Thanks for reading boys.

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