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  1. #1
    Mikalichov is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Feedback about first date from OK Cupid

    Hey guys,

    So I just had this first date, and wanted your feedback / advice.

    21yo girl met on OK cupid, quite cute and my type, so I took her on a coffee date. Was a bit stressed and considered flaking on her because:

    1 - Got a messed haircut yesterday; asked the guy to shorten it a bit, and he buzz cut everything, I look like I'm recovering from cancer
    2 - I looked for info before going, and everything I read was: "don't do coffee dates!". I like them anyway for first online date, as it allows to check if they're creeps or not.

    So, the date: 2pm, met at the coffee shop. Each of us paid for our drink, as I don't invite at the beginning. Really nice setting, she's never been there before, so good point. No seating, so we had to seat on a bench side by side, so bad point. Impossible to Kino, or even eye contact. Noticed she looked a lot at my face while I was looking somewhere else. Difficult to have a conversation though, there were some blanks. I'm good at leading a conversation, but it really felt forced. So after a while, I decided to move her and go walk outside.

    We were close from a really nice campus, which was hers, so I decided to go there, and we chatted about the buildings. managed to start the kino there (hand in the small of the back to guide/lead her from time to time). I was walking first during all the thing, as it gives them the impression you are guiding them. I noticed she talked a lot more, and conversation was a lot easier when walking outside than when in the coffee shop

    Then I decided to move her again, and we went to the shops street, where she started to talk about stuff she knew about buildings without me asking (trying to qualify herself?) and about shops she liked. She showed a place where they made great muffins, so I decided to take her in and ordered two muffins (I ordered for her, to try and show dominance/confidence). I also paid, as a way of validating that I was having a good time. Again, conversation was difficult, I realized she might be better at talking about the environment than talking about her or me. I managed to do quite a lot of dhv there (I made a backpack trip in Greece when I was young, it works wonders if you describe it well). Anyway, we stayed there a bit, but since we were done eating I proposed to go out again. I was still doing the "hand in the back" kino, but didn't escalate more (I'm too slow on escalating I think)

    That's where I might have messed up. I decided that we had already done a lot, so it would be better to leave it at that rather than making it too long (it was 3:30pm). So I told her I had to leave. Probably not a bad move by itself, except we were literally in front of a subway station. And I hadn't managed to secure a second date yet. So I walked her a bit, asking what she was doing during the week-end. She was going to a place I've wanted to go to from some time, so I told her that's a place I've wanted to go to from some time but without saying "we should go together" or something like that

    And then, well, I couldn't walk her more, so I told her I was going and started leaving, she just said something like "OK, see you", and left. I'm always confused by the leaving part, it always feel quite brutal (in my country, you always kiss before leaving... what a nice country )

    So I was a bit confused about whether it went great or horrible, and 15mn after leaving she sent me (through OK Cupid, i didn't secure the number) something like:
    "Oh gosh my manners are awful >.< thank you so much for the muffin! And sorry I forgot to thank you right then"
    I take it as it means that she was still thinking about it, and she's worried about my opinion, am I correct?

    Sorry about it being so lengthy, I'm demanding on field reports accuracy So, comments, feedback, opinions, advice?

  2. #2
    Mikalichov is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Feedback about first date - Mikalichov

    Hey, sorry about that, but is there a way to remove that thread..? Just realized it was one of the first thing showing up on google when someone typed my okc user name haha

  3. #3
    FauxPas is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Feedback about first date - Mikalichov

    Mikalichov, FauxPas here. How do I sign up with you? (Ha, ha.) I think you have done well. Kudos! The little bit of PUA I know is that it's not always smooth, and not always without obstacles. So we adapt, and that's what we do. Good luck, and good vibes. Ciao, FauxPas.

  4. #4
    Goostave is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Feedback about first date - Mikalichov

    I also have trouble in escalation.
    I think as conversation goes you could of built a more emotional connection. It was a coffee date and that's it. You are a PUA in training so make it more interesting. I would of ran the cube and done cold readings from there to try and understand her world and find commonalities. For escalation while making it more fun run shit like the mouse game to start off by holding her hand. I had the same situation happen to me a month ago and I see now by writing this what I should of done. But I haven't tried online game so props to actually getting a date.

  5. #5
    Mikalichov is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Feedback about first date - Mikalichov

    Well, I got another coffee date, with another online girl, this afternoon, so let's use what I learned from the previous one

    (but seriously... no way to remove a thread?)


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