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  1. #1
    Allen705 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Connoisseur Field Report

    I had been talking to this woman who was a classic Connoisseur, according to the Pandora Box's system.

    She is a Investor, Denier, Realist.

    I ended up meeting her on a dating website, she is beautiful, stunning, and seems to have a fun/easygoing going personality. I usually date younger women(I'm30-so is she) I began to successfully chat her up from the site using humor. She clearly was worried about me not accepting her answers/questions, in which I ensured her, that I really was happy with what she said. This SLOWLY transitioned to personal e-mail, to finally getting her phone number and texting her.

    It took maybe a total time of a week and a half from first contact online, to personal contact.

    She is a HB9 with a masters degree in the medical profession. So she fits my needs as a chick who has her stuff together.

    The first date was a hangout on Independence Day, I was having to work my side job at my apartment complex near the fireworks show. She knew this, as well as maybe having to deal with my animated kid brother. She was fine. I did chat her up as time allowed and she seemed to have fun and have a great time. We got to watch the fireworks show.

    We ended the night hanging out watching TV for a bit. We were entertained and I walked her out to her car around midnight. I get a long hug, in which she pulled me tighter. This lasted awhile, I then leaned in for a prolonged kiss. So success! We have a date set up for Saturday night and all is great.

    Friday night, I casually invite her for ice cream after she had dinner with her parents. She accepted. We ended up going to a local park where we talked and got to know each other. I did end up shooting myself in the foot a bit with being too hands on by giving too many embraces, but she did insist on a back rub. I obliged. Well, we kissed several times, cuddled on a park bench and as I sensed she was getting tired, I drove her back to her car.

    The big date....
    I picked her up at her place, three dozen roses in hand and a teddy bear with a cute story. She loved them. We drive out of town for dinner at a so called fancy restaurant(it's wasn't that great as coworkers have made it out to be). We eat the semi-okay dinner and go back to her place to watch a movie.

    She gave me the option of watching it in the living room or in her bedroom so we can lay down and relax. It's a no brainer what option I chose! She requested a back rub again. I gave her a very prolonged sensual full body massage. At this time, I was debating on making a move or not..so I did so. She was practically asleep but responses to small talk. She then allows me to kiss her and I end the deal with clothes falling off. We make love several times through out the night.

    We had breakfast in the morning. I went hope and several hours later I texted her...bragging about how she missed out on a nap. No response...

    A bit of history is that she lost her husband tragically a few years ago, had a few heart breaks with guys sinse then, and seems to be a bit distant and hard to open up. She seems introverted and hard to gauge what she is feeling or thinking. Yet, I'm still not pressing for any kind of feedback of acceptance, but she seems to give it away.

    So I read the pandora's box info on the Connoisseur, and knew where I really messed up. The text sounded sexual in nature. I waited four hours and texted her back saying "I really enjoyed our time together. You looked really great last night, couldn't keep my eyes off you the whole night and I was happy to get to know you...look forwarding to knowing more. "

    She replied back with a smiley face! So I'm debating my next move. I think any text back without at least an idea of where to maneuver would be disastrous. This is where I have trouble with the Connoisseur trying to transition to the next date AFTER sex and having a relationship. I dabating my approach with very little future talk(she made more comments about that than I did) AND not appear to be needy or want to take up too much of her time. Is this good?

    Does anybody have any tips or pointers? She is on vacation all this week so she has lots of free time. I have to work, but I'm open most nights. I don't want to rush this and push her away. I have an idea that let her relax with her time off and let her think about me. We mainly text, never talk on the phone.

    She has her own home, makes a boat load of money and has a great job. She only needs me(and it seemed pretty clear) for an emotional connection. I guess I just need to take time and not rush that part. I can see a potential future with this one, for long term.

    As far as the dating has gone so far, I don't feel a concrete emotional connection, but Its very possible to obtain this. I just need help on this part. I feel like I'm on the right track...

    I tend to over analyze and look at things too much, and stick my foot in my mouth. I am backing off on this..Any help is appreciated.

  2. #2
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    Suave Kino is online now PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Connoisseur Field Report

    Do you want a relationship or a friend with benefits, what's your plan?

  3. #3
    Allen705 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Connoisseur Field Report

    I do want a relationship with her...

    Update, she texted me goodnight last night...I ended up telling her "goodnight, life is better knowing her." She thanked me for everything I did for her...I told her " it was my pleasure, it's only the start of something great" she asked me what else I got planned...I gave her a preview...She sounded excited and wanted even more details. I held those back.

    She ended up inviting me over telling me how "lonely her bed was" with just her...I came over and was careful to not have sex with her again that night so i dont only seem interested in sex and gave her a back rub only.

    We fall asleep in each others arms. I wake up the next morning and make love to her... Before I go to work, I invite her to lunch. She doesn't sound too interested and says we will see...

    I ended my workday early and didn't bring up a lunch date idea again while we were texting.

    I want to transition this to a relationship and not just a late night rendezvous.

    Any ideas?

  4. #4
    Allen705 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Connoisseur Field Report

    Update again...

    So after spending the night, not sleeping with her and just cuddling the whole night, I wake up and put my moves on her. I ended up sleeping with her. I may have screwed up there...but there were no signs of her being upset about this. She is very introverted, and having a conversation is like pulling teeth.

    So after she brushed me off when I asked her out for lunch, I kiss her goodbye and leave. All seems good, no verbal or non verbal clues she is unhappy other than the obvious brush off. I send her a text of a picture of donuts and a mentioned the joke we made earlier about it...she sends back a "ha" I then tell her I'm done with my day, and not mentioning i'm free for lunch...she just replies "Yall work fast." I respond back with a reply...that doesn't really require a reply...but doesn't answer back...This was around noon.

    I got some groceries for the dinner we talked about me making her. I say

    Me:"I have all the things I need to cook us dinner. We should do it at six tomorrow. Plus all my other things up my sleeve coming up! lol"

    Her: I can't do tomorrow

    Me: Wednesday is good, How was your day off?

    Her: We'll see about it. It was good.

    Me: I did manage to sleep a little better last night, despite the snoring ;p

    Me: Maybe it was the cats. lol the back rub wore me out more than anything I'm not complaining, I enjoy making you happy. (Something I threw in based on the Pandora Box system to let them know, they are making you enjoy being with them.

    No response....

    I send one last text to close any conversation, assert a bit of alpha(at least I thought it was)

    Me: Going to bed, thanks for being good to me the last few days(as we hung out/saw each other for three straight days) I didn't have an easy vacation for one or another(using mystery method). You made it better.

    I have yet to receive a text back...I think I will not text her back tomorrow, and do a cool down or Freeze Out. Is this appropriate?

    I can tell she wants a relationship but is still seems be looking for other options, i.e. her still logging on to match.com(where i met her). Unfortunately, she can see when I log on too...perhaps this is a reaction to that...

    I thought I was dhv through showing im financial independent, a career professional, ready for a future, and we didn't argue/disagree once...

  5. #5
    iShujaat is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Connoisseur Field Report

    Thanks for sharing ur story. helped me alot


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