Status report. I'm currently working on three girls. I've included some details below. I think that the dance floor game is really starting to come together, and I'm finally connecting with gals that really interest me.
I called her on Wednesday morning to set something up for last weekend. She wrote me back that night saying that her family was in town. I responded the next day telling her that we'd make plans after they left. No word until I texted her on Sunday. I like her personality, but she's not a party girl. There's a future if she's willing to try swing dancing and more active stuff. I've enjoyed our past two dates. I've been waiting for her to call, text or email. Nothing, so the ball is in my court.
What I'm learning?
Last weekend I read He's Just Not That Into You. I'm learning that I have to give out IOIs and compliments if I want to keep a girl engaged (read maintain interest and attraction). I'd been using text and calls only to set up D2s, but with only one date per week that gives long periods for her to forget how awesome I am. I've also been thinking more about what I want out of a relationship. She's great at meeting me on an intellectual level and doing more chill activities, but three to four nights a week I'm going out to the bars, clubs and social dances.
I called her last week about salsa dancing on this past weekend. She never called me back and didn't text me. She was at my salsa class on Monday, and I tried to just play it off like I was totally unfazed. I asked her about her weekend being rather indirect. Thankfully she brought up my voice mail. She said she'd been out of town visiting family. We went to the salsa practice after class, and she was teasing and playful. We texted on Tuesday and tried to make plans for Wednesday. She was up too late on Tuesday partying, so it looks like she's a good party girl. This morning I called her about salsa this weekend. No response yet, so the ball is in her court.
What I'm learning?
The night that I first met her she brought up the topic of FWB (friends with benefits). We were talking about a variety of things, so it wasn't specifically about me and her. It was more in response to a general question about the local dating scene. I believe that Vin DiCarlo's pandora's box would mark her down as a "Social Butterfly." I'm realizing that these party girls are a little harder to get to commit to a D2. Bringing up the voice mail (weekend plans) was a calculated risk. I'm realizing that I need to treat these HBs like anyone else and be open with my communication. I don't like the ball being in her court, and I'm not sure that I'm getting enough IOIs from her.
We met at the salsa social on Monday. She's half Vietnamese, half Mexican. I really enjoyed dancing salsa with her and felt that I made a good impression. I was just talking with a new salsa friend when she walked by with her friend Lulu. I followed the three-second rule and asked her to dance. My new friend asked Lulu to dance. For a non-PUA, he did a good job winging me. I played the mysterious stranger card with HB Target, so hopefully she's intrigued to learn more about me. She speaks Spanish and kept asking me if I knew her language. We've texted every day. I called her this morning about salsa this weekend. No response yet, so the ball is in her court.
What I'm learning?
Back in April when I got involved in sarging with other members of the PUA community, I would sarge for the sake of sarging, approach for the sake of approaching and #-close to have more digits in my phone. Now I have options, confidence and skills. My goal is to meet fellow Spanish-speakers, and gals who can meet me on the level of liking to party and do active stuff. This means going to venues like salsa social where I can find them. HB Target is hot, smart and knows how to move. I don't want to believe in the league system, but this gal might be out of my league.
Looking for feedback on these points:
How far in advance can you start making weekend plans? It seems like people in my city don't like to plan anything definitive for Fri/Sat until at the soonest Wed/Thurs. I'm a busy guy with a full social, work and volunteer schedule, so it's frustrating to wait until Wednesday to start putting together my weekend plans. A couple of times nothing has come together because it's all too last minute to get the details in a row.
How do you negotiate inviting multiple HBs to the same event? I don't have that much free time on the weekends. I'm working swing shift many Fridays and Saturdays. I've extend the same invitation to HB Neon and HB Target. The voice mails were intentionally vague about where to meet so that I can just make plans with whoever gets back to me first. If HB Target say let's do (Friday), I'll tell HB Neon that (Friday) doesn't work anymore "How about (Saturday)?"
After getting HB Target's number at the Monday salsa social, I number-closed another girl. I don't think that she noticed, but it felt like it was in very bad form. Rather than following her like a puppy dog, I made sure to dance with other girls and be a social butterfly between talking with her. That felt fine and seemed to build her interest in me. #-closing another gal with her still there. That didn't feel right. Any thoughts?