So i met this girl about a month ago through a friend I havent seen in ages. We immediately hit it off and i could tell she was a gamechanger and i wanted her more than just pickup. Plenty of ioi on our first meet, i liked her and she liked me too. at the end of the night i closed and got her bbm pin (blackberry messenger) .about a week or so later we met up at the mall at around 9pm and hanged there till around 11pm. she was really talkative and conversation was going good we even got to talking about sex. When we left the mall we went on a long walk back to a park near my house (she didnt know my house was near) when we got to the park conversation was still going good but had died down noticeably. After telling her my house was near she suggested we go, we stayed at the park till about 1am and then went to my house and chilled there until around 10AM which i am f*cking ashamed of to say the least. what im most ashamed of though is that i didnt score, not even a kiss, 13 hours and not even a kiss. i know it was f*cking weak but its happened now. anyway when i was dropping her off i let her know that i wanted to kiss her back at my house and that i didnt care that i didnt because i had tried, at which point she turned to me and told me that i didnt try (implying she didnt notice any effort on my part). After i dropped her off she messaged me saying that she wanted to kiss me back at my house. WTF. Needless to say after this i was seriously depressed
That was our first meet up
Our second meet up was yesterday. i picked her up from the train station next to the mall at around 8:45pm and we walked around and talked till around 10pm and then went to McDonalds to grab something to eat till around 11pm (i offered somewhere better before but she said she wanted mcd's). After we ate we went to my house and played cod for about 2 hours and then stared watching movies. i noticed she was more 'intimate' than last time (probably because I’ve called her out on being socially awkward before by sitting far from me etc.), this time she was actually sitting close but that’s about where it ended. She would lay on me but only when she said she was tired and that’s it. later on in the night she started almost falling asleep so i asked her if she was going to go to sleep and she said yeah so i said ok but if you’re going to go to sleep there’s one thing I need to do first and she got up off my lap and said what and i leaned in for a kiss and she just moved back slightly so i laughed it off out of embarrassment. i started joking about how embarrassing it was and she said she did it because she didn’t know what i was doing and she’s just an awkward person. But what really sticks in my head is that after all of that she offered me a peck on the lips. I agreed and then moved away and said ‘now you know how it feels’ jokingly. After dropping her off at the station I deleted her from bbm and deleted her number which is a shame because I like her.
what I’ve learnt after all of this is and What surprised me the most is the fact that even though I genuinely like her and wanted more than just a f*ck, I don’t care that I didn’t get anything out of this, because in the end the problem wasn’t with me, the problem was that she is socially awkward and even if I failed at least I went for it. Im not quite sure where i want this thread to go I guess I just wanted to share my experience and tell someone but any feedback or opinions would be appreciated (also sorry for the long post)