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  1. #1
    Autismus's Avatar
    Autismus is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Successful Breakup

    An important part of pick-up... the put-down.

    Taking the high-road and owning a break up the right way is tough to do but it is worth it. It feels strong and right - better than locking in with tight game.


    So after reading this post I decided to break it off with a code five clinger I've been seeing since March. She's a cool chick and I do like her.

    I had just got off work and we're hanging in the library (where I work). I can tell something's bothering her and eventually she says she feels like I'm not as "into the relationship as she is" - btw I'm moving town in a week.

    *BOUNCE to a coffee shop to talk.

    On the way we Fluff about non-emotional stuff.

    At the coffee shop we go back and forth:
    Her: "This can work long distance"
    Me: "I don't see how"
    Her: "This, or that is how"
    Me: "We both know that's not practical..."

    yada, yada, yada,

    Her: "It sounds like we should just break up"
    Me: "I think thats all we can do."

    I offer to take the bus but she says she'll drive me home. She's been prettty emotional the whole way over. Then parked in front of my house it all comes out - all of her concerns, "what does she say when people ask about me?" "How does she talk to me?" "What are we doing for the next week?" "Do you just want to go back to my place and talk or have sex or whatever?"

    *BOUNCE to her place.

    Kino escalates and, as Sienfeld says, yada, yada, yada, then we're laying on the floor talking. She asks if we're still breaking up, I say yeah, she asks the same "so, what now?" questions and I tell her not to overthink it.

    After crying it out, after a bit of intimacy, after talking, she comes to terms with (A) Long distance wouldn't work, and (B) She'll be okay without me, she'll move on.

    It's like the last bit in the Mystery Method, when a relationship ends, the girl feels she's lost something valuable. It is our responsibility as men, to walk her through that: for our own integrity, out of concern for her, so as to not turn her into a b1tch to all men (especially the next PUA ) and above all because when girls are with PUAs they have a good time - even when they're being broken up with.
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  2. #2
    PUAatmosphere's Avatar
    PUAatmosphere is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Successful Breakup

    Quote Originally Posted by Autismus View Post
    "Do you just want to go back to my place and talk or have sex or whatever?" *BOUNCE to her place.
    Kino escalates and, as Sienfeld says, yada, yada, yada, then we're laying on the floor talking. She asks if we're still breaking up, I say yeah, she asks the same "so, what now?" questions and I tell her not to overthink it.
    Break up sex? The goodbye kiss? I wouldn't have done it. I've read in the theory books that women really struggle to differentiate between physical intimacy and emotional intimacy. This would be especially true for a code-five clinger.

    I liked Cody's suggestion to check up on the gal after the break-up for purposes of social appearances. Using a neutral coffee shop as a break-up location makes sense. I'll be interested to see other guy's thought on this one.

  3. #3
    Autismus's Avatar
    Autismus is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Successful Breakup

    Turns out you're right, break-up sex was not the way to go. She figured we'd get back together after I finish school - pretty much had to break up with her all over again.

    Break-up sex is awesome - but not awesome enough for all that - especially makes it difficult for her I see now.
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  4. #4
    EMSaenz's Avatar
    EMSaenz is offline PUA With Mad Respect
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    Angry Re: Successful Breakup

    Ditto on the Good Bye Kiss (sex in this case) it leaves the door ajar and not closed. It's okay if you want to keep someone in orbit while your exploring other options that might fail. But, if you want a permanent end to a relationship throw all the intimacy out.

    I significantly agree that a follow-up should occur to ensure her well being. Some peeps do stupid things like turn to alcohol and/or drugs, and worse suicide. Still, don't get intimate, call one of their close relatives or friends. Make sure they get help, like aa, counseling or medical attention if they need it.

    From experience, I broke up with this woman once that two weeks later called me and said she took too many sleeping pills. I could tell by her voice she was very EF'ed up. She stopped talking, this was before cell phones and internet. She didn't hang up so I couldn't call 911. Plus, I really didn't know where she was calling from. I called 911 from my neighbor's and rushed to her apt. She was there. I saw her through the window. I got there before EMR, still had my key to her place, got in and started rescue breathing - she still had a pulse, but very shallow breathing. She lived, but it scared the sh*t out of me.
    Carpe diem!


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