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  1. #11
    1000steps is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Unplanned insta-date with ex

    I've been meaning to post pictures on fb since the break up - two weeks ago. I don't have the skill to pick up strangers yet but I should manage to have a few pictures where I'm just having fun.

    Now in an effort to change the fact that I've become an option for her, I'm thinking of sending this text when she contacts me again: Hey *something cutsy I used to call her*! You were right! The break up was for the best but I think it's better if you don't contact me for a while.

    That should flip the script because 1. I agree with break up and 2. I order her to not contact me for a while (as if saying: stop chasing me). That means that I'm no longer an option in her mind. I think this will either instill a fear of loss in her or backfire and she'll try to move on quicker (less likely?).

    Full story of this situation is in the thread: 'break up after 2.5 years; want suggestions' in the How to get your ex back sub-forum.

  2. #12
    SmoothFLow's Avatar
    SmoothFLow is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Unplanned insta-date with ex

    In my opinion, just freeze her out without telling her anything. Keep yourself busy and interesting and she'll be in the back of your mind genuinely. You are the prize - you don't need to TELL her that, make her FEEL that way. With a few days/weeks of no contact, she'll get curious and contact you again. By then, you'll have done so much, you have your options, and she'll feel like YOU'RE the prize that she will be chasing after. By then, she will just be another option for you. You may even find someone with the same qualities as her, if not even better.
    Success or fail; everything you try can be chalked up as a learning experience~

  3. #13
    Hotel Yorba is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Unplanned insta-date with ex

    I don't think telling her to stop texting you would be the wisest decision...perhaps im wrong but simply not replying should be sufficient. Doesn't it drive you crazy when you text her and she doesnt answer back right away? Now imagine doing the same thing to her...she'll be wondering where you are, who you're with, who's that girl in your FB picture, "maybe he doesn't have time for me anymore?!" "What if he doesn't love me anymore?!!" You'll know when she gets desperate when text messages turn into phone calls, I know that last one from experience. It can be torturous but sometimes the only way to win is not to play. If and when she does come back don't give her everything because that will land you back to square 1. IF she comes back this is the time when push-pulls will be your greatest asset.

  4. #14
    1000steps is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Unplanned insta-date with ex

    Wow, I had it all wrong then.

    What if she eventually asks me why I'm ignoring her? I don't know how to reframe these questions.

    Do I deny it? 'I'm not, I'm just busy..' (lame excuse imo)
    Do I reframe it? 'What? Why so dramatic?'

  5. #15
    Hotel Yorba is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Unplanned insta-date with ex

    I would say something like "hey! sorry I've been busy:P". It's hard to gauge exactly what to say because I don't know this girl and what she's like so calibration is key. Once you've posted your FB pics she'll know why you've been busy...seeing as though you two are on hiatus she can't logically get upset but she will, she'll get jealous that other people are spending time with you. Especially when those people happen to be (a FEW) girls.

  6. #16
    SmoothFLow's Avatar
    SmoothFLow is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Unplanned insta-date with ex

    Quote Originally Posted by 1000steps View Post
    Do I deny it? 'I'm not, I'm just busy..' (lame excuse imo)
    Do I reframe it? 'What? Why so dramatic?'
    Like Yorba said, you're gonna have to calibrate it for yourself since you already know the girl. There's nothing wrong with telling her if you're busy as long as you've genuinely been busy. Women, can smell BullS***, somehow over the phone too. A short, teasing response should be fine. (you shouldn't apologize for not having time to talk to her)

    "i'm not ignoring you lol"
    "lol, why do you think i'm ignoring you?"
    "whaaaaaaaat? lol"

    this one kills em:
    HER: why are you ignoring me?/why don't you talk to me anymore? (whatever she says doesn't matter, but your reponse does)
    ME: what's up?

    to easy
    Success or fail; everything you try can be chalked up as a learning experience~


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