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  1. #1
    Hotel Yorba is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Tried to pick up ex gf last night

    So a few days ago my ex texted me and told me she missed me. After some texts she asked me to have dinner tonight and I agreed. I went over and it was well...bittersweet. We were very happy to see eachother because we have a deep emotional connection with eachother. But at the same time it was sort of akward because we hadn't seen eachother in over 3 weeks. I knew she dated a guy sometime in those 3 weeks (didn't work out) but I chose not to adress it so I would not appear AFC. She also knows I've been seeing a few girls here and there but nothing too serious and she didnt bring that up either. So I have to say while we were both happy to see eachother, we were both at a loss to make a real connection because of what's happened in between us seeing eachother. She did give me some ioi's: Put her legs over my lap, didn't want to let me go while we were hugging, and few other indicators like that. At the end of the night I told her I had to leave (part of a Push-Pull I was doing) and she seemed a little bummed I was leaving (emphasize little). As we were hugging good bye she said "good luck with your new job" and "it was so great to see you."
    I left without replying to any of those statements because

    A) I didn't know how to react to her seemingly telling me goodbye for a long time

    B) I didn't know if she wanted me to stay longer

    C) I thought it would be more mysterious if I left without saying anything.



    All in all it was a mixed bag of emotions. None of which I can decipher on my own because I'm emotionally involved with her. So it would be great if anyone could give me some feedback on this because my mind is too clouded with feelings to make sense of it.


    Thanks guys!

  2. #2
    1000stepss is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Tried to pick up ex gf last night

    First of all, awesome! May I ask what you did for this date to happen? (I assume self-development + no contact).

    I know it's harder to see the situation for what it is when you're emotionally invested. I'd say you first need to know what exactly you want and then sort out a plan.

    I didn't know how to react to her seemingly telling me goodbye for a long time
    Sounds like you're waiting for her to make a move so you can react. This isn't chess where you have to defend yourself against attacks. I'd say that if it was like a game of chess, you're the board and her moves don't matter much. Not in the sense that you ignore her like a jerk - more like an assertive and decisive being. I myself am getting used (again) to this type of Mindset after having changed for the worst in my LTR.. And on this same topic, it doesn't matter if she wanted you to stay longer or not. What if she did? Would you have stayed longer? What if not? Leave to not risk pissing her off? These are both wrong IMO, the correct question is what do you want?

    I realize you're just explaining the situation to the forum and your mindset is probably much healthier than I'm making it out to be In reality, in this situation I would just continue with my self-development and life in general. It's obviously very ON. I wouldn't be surprised if you got back together in a few weeks, if that is what you want, of course

  3. #3
    Hotel Yorba is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Tried to pick up ex gf last night

    Thanks 1000! To answer your question on how it happened: I never initiated contact with her (even though it sucked lol) and we have a deep emotional connection. She doesnt have much of a social life so she's always on facebook and I used this to my advantage i.e. posting pics of me with other girls, pics of me going out to bars, funny status updates, and another key thing which I found worked like a charm was whenever she would post pics of herself I would never comment or "like" them, which I assume drove her crazy because it showed that I didn't care.

    Now that I've slept on it I think the error I made was that I expressed a lot of happiness in seeing her again in stead of displaying non-chalance on the situation. And I agree with your statement about the chess board and if she contacts me again I'll know a lot better.


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