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  1. #1
    mrtorrence is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Indian cutie conundrum

    So I met this girl about a week ago on a Wednesday night and she seemed pretty cool so I friended her on facebook and since I'd never seen her around before (we go to the same university) I told her I'd be disappointed if I didn't see her sometime that weekend. I meant see her out but I think she took it a different way. She said she was busy friday but maybe saturday. I kind of implied I wanted her number and she gave it to me. A friend of mine then told me she was asking about me and if I was a good guy or not. He told her that I definitely am. I asked her about it and she said she was just doing a background check and then suggested we have dinner saturday. I asked if she was asking me out and she said perhaps. I said I was down but said let's do something more fun than a generic dinner and I suggested mini golf.

    So the next night two of her friends are over at my house and they are kind of teasing me about our date and want to know if I want any tips. I say no because I want to handle it myself. They are quite surprised and think she is either going to not like it at all or be turned on by it. They also say they won't tell her I said that to which I start laughing and say I know they are going to tell her every word and they admitted that I was right.

    So we went mini golfing during the day on saturday and had fun. Was planning on going for the kiss when I dropped her off but it was a bit awkward so I held off. Proceed to the next wednesday night (we had been texting a bit on and off over the next few days) and I ask if she is going to the local bar that people usually go to on wednesdays. She texts me back the next day saying sorry I was out with friends and that she had a great time on our date but to be honest I dont see this going further, I hope we can still talk when we see each other out... Then last night she proceeded to hook up with my roommate (didn't sleep with him)

    Possible mistakes: I told her that I hadn't been on a legit date like this since my freshman year (I'm a senior). But this isn't that strange because the dating culture at my school is basically non-existent other than fraternity and sorority date functions.
    I told her I don't want to get married because I think it is a contrivance and that I dont want to have kids for a long time because I think the world is pretty messed up right now
    I didn't open the door for her when I picked her up

    I'll also say my goal here is not just to sleep with this girl and be done with it. In general with my relationships I am looking to develop a deep connection with someone but not really looking for a girlfriend

    Thoughts??

  2. #2
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Indian cutie conundrum

    "I'd be disappointed if I didn't see her sometime that weekend" most AFC way to ask a girl to hang out with you that i've seen in a long time (no offense) but she saved it, so its all good she is clearly interested, but be warned that HB's usualy don't respond that well to stuff like this the comment about not wanting to get married is counter-productive, instead you should always say "i'd get married if ifound the right woman" you see most every woman has this dream instilled in there heads that one day they will find prince charming and he will sweep them off their feet,fall in love and marry them and love them forever. though this dream is very farfetched it is instilled in them from childhood. also the children thing is a dlv too, cause wemon dream about that too also the whole not having a date for a long time is also a dlv, it makes you look desperate and shows a lack of experience, she probably thought "why hasn't this guy had a date in the past year, is there something he's not telling me", just try not to make these mistakes again, and make sure you learn from them best of luck ;D

  3. #3
    mrtorrence is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Indian cutie conundrum

    Haha ya you're totally right about that being a pretty AFC move. I think I was baked when I sent her that.

    Any thoughts on moving forward with this girl?

  4. #4
    Paul_T is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Indian cutie conundrum

    meteora has some good points, but I think there are 3 that are really big deals, and the rest you could easily get away with, so dont stress about them.

    In my view the really big deals are:
    1. You said you hadn't had a date since freshman year
    2. You told her I don't want to get married because you think it is a contrivance and that you dont want to have kids for a long time because you think the world is pretty messed up right now
    3. You didn't kiss her

    Everything else wouldn't have been enough to kill your interaction, but these 3 are.

    1. Whether you like it or not, girls find you more attractive if it seems other girls are attracted to you. It really doesn't matter what the dating culture in your campus is like. By saying you havn't had a date in a long time, you make yourself much more unattractive. Period. You don't have to lie and say you're a pimp, just don't bring it up. Skirt around the issue. She doesn't need to know everything about you on the first date.

    2. The big thing you don't realise, is that by taking a girl on a date, you are putting yourself initially in a relationship frame. Even if your plan is to take her on a date, get jiggy with it, most girls don't think like that. You are being analysed, whether conciously or subconsiously, on a more long term basis when you take a girl on a date compared to if you had just met in a club. Therefore saying you don't believe in marriage and don't want kids is, like meteora said, killing a common dream for a lot of women. Although honestly, saying this in a bar to a girl is also a really bad idea. Basically, never say it again. But on a date it's even worse. Just don't say it. Have I emphasised this enough already?!

    3. This is the most important one. I used to think that it was ok not to go for a kiss on the first date. I used to think it was better not to risk rejection and save it for the second or third date. At this time, I wasn't getting laid much at all. Then, one day I went for the kiss, and got rejected. I then got the friend zone speech. I smiled and walked away. Within an hour, the girl was texting me. Within a few days she wanted to meet again. Then, after she had asked me on a date, she then owned up that she wished she had kissed me.
    Since then, I have always gone for the kiss on the first date, whether it's awkward or not. Most of the time I get the kiss. I've been turned down twice since then, and have then hooked up with the girls on the second date.

    As for ways to keep it going with this girl, I would guess you've blown it mate. Try and go to a party she is at, and try your moves on her there. I doubt she'll go on another date with you though, and asking her several times on a date makes you look needy and unattractive.

    Either way, good luck mate.

  5. #5
    mrtorrence is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Indian cutie conundrum

    Ya all valid points. I don't know what I was thinking when I said that stuff. We were talking about our families and she asked if I was a "family man" but there was no need for me to go into all that detail about it. I definitely could have skirted the issue. Also could have easily said something during mini-golf like let's make this next hole interesting and put a kiss on the line at least to let her know I wanted to kiss her. Overall pretty lame on my part.

    Definitely not planning on asking her out again. But she will likely be at many of the same parties as I will so I'll try my luck there I guess. At this point I'm just going to play it pretty cool because she thinks I am more into her than I actually am. Whateva, lesson learned haha

  6. #6
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Indian cutie conundrum

    theirs still a chance for you if you want her, you need to throw out some false disqualifiers (using false signals of disinterest) use them along with a few negs to get her chasing you then you should just use push-pull to throw her off even more and depen the attraction,also be sure to use some Kino it would be more than ok to take her on a few "friendly" dates, just make them less romantic and more friendly. once she sends you three ioi's in a row with no IOD's on a date, feel free to use the mystery k-close (works all the time,it has never failed me) also i recomend you read this
    http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...eld-guide.html
    good luck!!!


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