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  1. #1
    Callimaco is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question Post-Pickup Flaking

    Usually, I'd say it's not a good idea to go somewhere specifically with the intent of picking a girl up, because it just puts more pressure on one's self, but I was determined...

    I went to the mall late last week (specifically to close a girl) and decided to enter a particular clothing store known for employing cute girls/"Hired Guns". The girl working the front of the store, the "greeter", was OK but not really my type. I continued walking toward the back of the store to see what the cashier looked like, but it was a guy, so I decided to leave the store.

    On the way out, I saw an attractive blonde girl walking in, we made eye contact and exchanged smiles as I was leaving. For a brief moment, I had considered leaving it alone, but quickly changed my mind and decided I'd see where I could get with it.

    I saw she had taken her seat in one of two chairs in the foyer of the store. I decided I would take my seat next to her and start chatting her up. After a minute or two, I gave her a false time constraint, I asked if she had Facebook to which she replied she had just deactivated her account. I sarcastically (think Ryan Reynolds-style delivery) said, "Stalker, huh? Yeah I've had a few of those." She laughed and said she didn't have a stalker. I ended up asking for her phone number and sat my phone down on the small table that separated us and she programmed her name/number into my phone. I made a bit more conversation (as Neil Strauss suggests) before ejecting after the Number Close and left by saying "It was nice to meet you".

    I decided to wait the obligatory two days before making contact with her. I watched the movie "Swingers" for motivation not to contact her too soon. To anyone who hasn't seen that movie, please do yourself a favor and go pick it up or stream it on Netflix, it's well worth your time...

    So, anyway...I sent her a text two days later. Since I hadn't given her my number, I decided to text instead of calling. For two reasons:

    1.) Calling plays out in real-time and I'm relatively new to pickup. I don't mind having a little extra time to think.

    2.) Since she didn't already have my phone number, I assumed if she were to get a call from a number she didn't recognize she wouldn't answer it anyway, which would've put me at the mercy of her voicemail...I don't like to leave voicemails -- Again, please see "Swingers".

    I decided texting was the best way to go. I decided I would use a "call-back" from our first meeting to help her to know who it was contacting her, as my opener.

    Here is our text transcript:

    Me: Hey it's Callimaco (not my real name, obviously), your "porch pal" from the other day. :-P How's your weekend going?

    Her: Oh hey! Hahah it's going good. How about yours?

    Me: Well, I'm busy doing stuff today but I was going to see if you were free sometime these next few days...

    Her: Hmmmm well tomorrow I work 2:30-8.

    Me: So are you free after work?

    Her: Yea I'm pretty sure (:

    Me: All right sounds good to me. Where can I pick you up?

    Her: I live in (name of town).

    Me: OK so I will just pull up to (name of town) and you'll get in? An address might help haha.

    Her: Hahahahah! No jerk I'll let you know tomorrow where I go tomorrow after work.

    Me: Ahh so mysterious! :-P OK sounds good, see ya tomorrow...and I promise there will be no Christmas music haha.

    Her: Oh darn I love hearing Christmas music in October. :-)

    ****The reference to Christmas music was another call-back to our first conversation. The clothing store she works in has already started playing Christmas music even though it's not even November yet.

    So, I was excited -- I had a date! Or did I? About forty minutes later, after no further contact from me, I received this text...

    Her: Actually I have to work my other job when I get off work tomorrow.

    Me: OK, we'll just make it another time then.

    Her: kk

    ****Now when I first talked to her, she mentioned working at the clothing store and also going to school. No mention of a second job was made, which presumably she would've mentioned. It seems between her skittishness about revealing where she'd be after work and her flaking after agreeing to hang out would suggest I've lost this one...but I figure I'll wait about a week and try one last time to hit her up and if she's "too busy" to hang out, I'll give up on her...What do you guys think?
    Last edited by Callimaco; 10-30-2012 at 03:48 AM. Reason: Grammatical error

  2. #2
    Dj Chill is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Post-Pickup Flaking

    Sounds like when you said where can i pick u up and she said I live in "town" and thats it....sounded from there she was putting on the brakes.

    Maybe she just exchanged numbers to suffice and not to reject you. And this could be her way of sending you the rejection signal otherwise if she doesnt want to meet up and flakes like this.

    Plus she took control of the meet up after saying "Ill let you know after work". When you were just asking her try to set it up.....

  3. #3
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    KnightTurner is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Post-Pickup Flaking

    My rule with numbers is I try three times to make plans and then delete the number. There are times that I don't even make it to the three because I can easily tell it's just not going to happen but I NEVER go over three tries.

    I'd go NC for three or four days then try texting her again without bringing up hanging out. Just talk. After a day or two of this, bring up hanging out again but in a casual sense. "Hey, I'm going to the bar with a few buddies, you should come with". No end punctuation and no smileys. If she agrees, tell her when and where. Do not ask anything (this is a general rule I like to follow, do not ask anything, just assume and turn your questions into statements).
    DOOOOONNNN'TTTT CAAAARREEEEE

    You are the prize. She needs to earn it.

  4. #4
    Dj Chill is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Post-Pickup Flaking

    Quote Originally Posted by KnightTurner View Post
    My rule with numbers is I try three times to make plans and then delete the number. There are times that I don't even make it to the three because I can easily tell it's just not going to happen but I NEVER go over three tries.

    I'd go NC for three or four days then try texting her again without bringing up hanging out. Just talk. After a day or two of this, bring up hanging out again but in a casual sense. "Hey, I'm going to the bar with a few buddies, you should come with". No end punctuation and no smileys. If she agrees, tell her when and where. Do not ask anything (this is a general rule I like to follow, do not ask anything, just assume and turn your questions into statements).
    Sounds perfect, I also forgot to mention I like to call them when im serious about making plans. Texting is cool and all for the current age but what ever happened to the old-fashioned call. Hear her voice and let her here yours and let emotions get a bit revved up.


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