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  • 1 Post By The Elitist
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Thread: field report for my birthday

  1. #1
    serp777 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default field report for my birthday

    Today was my birthday, and I had an awesome time getting rejected by a 3 whom I thought I had a connection with . After making some joke that made her laugh, I just told her "Anyways, we should get some dinner tonight; I know a great little Italian spot downtown." At least she just told me "no" flat out, and didn't get my hopes up and flake on me like every other girl. I was bothered, of course, but I played it cool saying "um alright then, I guess I'll just find someone else." I must have aspergers or something, because it's extremely unlikely that i'm simply unlucky. It's so frustrating because average looking kids who half the time talk about sh1t like class with girls get ass while I don't. PDAs actually bother me now too much. Every time I see them i'm reminded of the fact that I'm a pathetic loser. Its like putting a five star hotel, and 12 course meal in front on a starving African child, who could never get it. It reminds me of several things: Mephistopheles from Faustus once said that hell is being exposed to heaven, and then being denied its bliss; Tantalus from Greek mythology also compares, since every time he tries to reach down to get water, the water moves away, and he is left with nothing. I'm not trying to say that being denied intimate relationships is parallel to hell, but I guess my main point is that I am tired of the torment, and the reminders that exists everywhere. Its driving me crazy, and probably hurting whatever game I have. </rant>

  2. #2
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    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: field report for my birthday

    you showed toooooo much interest toooooo fast! thats all their is to it, its hard to have a reel connection with someone until you break the hook point, (when she dhv's to you in attempt to get ioi's from you) your problem is that you thought she was alot more interested than she realy was. no-one wants to have a romantic dinner with a guy they barely know, plus she might think that "dinner" has strings attached she had every reason to reject you. don't get too upset about it, every rejection just gives you more experience. and experience is what you will need for gaming far better girls

  3. #3
    serp777 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: field report for my birthday

    But like we had a 30 minute conversation the day before . I saw her in the library today again. I'm confused about the point where I'm displaying too much interest, or I'm not displaying enough. I feel like I'm always polar: I'm either a friend because i don't display enough interest, or I'm a reject because I show too much. Where is the middle ground that gets me a date?

  4. #4
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    The Elitist is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: field report for my birthday

    In my experience, (and correct me if I'm wrong) the first time you want to see a girl, it's a lot better to have them come to a bar or somewhere where you and your friends are already going to be. This way you don't come off as being needy. You don't want a date. You want them to want a date. If you find yourself ending up as a friend, it's probably because you didn't touch enough. On youtube Josh Pellicer has a great video about this and how to get out of the friend-zone. Simple, subtle touching like on the arm with the back of your hand for 3-5 seconds is the best way to keep you out of the friend-zone. Of course you have to escalate that Kino, but it's a great start.

  5. #5
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: field report for my birthday

    i would say that you didn't build the attraction needed before you tryd to get her to "go out with you" that is why you showed too much interest. you have to see lots of ioi's before you show much interest (with Indirect Game) the elitist is right about one thing, asking her to "hang out" with you and some friends is far less intimidating than asking her to a romantic dinner. and like i said earlier, she may have thought that you would use "dinner" to buy her attraction and then expect something from her

  6. #6
    hyp
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    Default Re: field report for my birthday

    But like we had a 30 minute conversation the day before .

    conversational length does not matter, you could have an 8 hour conversation with no attraction building (i'm guilty on this one) whatsoever and still it wouldn't work out if you made a move, get physical (y) and think of it as a birthday present that you're learning from

  7. #7
    Big Shawn is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: field report for my birthday

    From what I read I strongly suggest you relearn the art of the pua and start from the basics. Some people sometimes develop defense mechanisms that make them view themselves as efficient or perfect when really they may be doing it all wrong. Or maybe there is just a small flaw you make every time, a bad habit of yours per se.

    don't let jealousy get to ya. It just weakens your inner game. I suggest you start fresh and ho with a wingman that can observe you. Also work on your inner game. Do a hobby

  8. #8
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    Default Re: field report for my birthday

    i have to agree with big shawn, allowing your emotions to control your actions will always cause you to make lots of bad choices. your goal should always be to stay calm,cool,and collected no matter what happens. keeping a cool head will allow you to make better decisions even in times of great crisis


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