Went out to a club Saturday with a few friends and honestly I didn’t have a very good time. I spent most of the night wondering around looking for the perfect set to approach, but whenever I found it I basically just walked past. It wasn’t like I had this great internal struggle or anything; I just had this belief that approaching wouldn’t workout. Then around 3 am my belief that I had destroyed all my social value by walking around alone all night became a conviction, and I left.
Throughout the week I spent an arduous amount of time laying out my favorite routines into three fluid stacks of material. I then created smooth transitions between each routine, and set about memorizing the order. After all that work I thought approaching wouldn’t be a problem at all. However, for some reason, I got in that weird head space where I just wasn’t willing to force myself to cold approach.
Throughout the night I only approached six times, and four of those were on the dance floor when I was being egged on by my buddy (not a pua). Probably the most entertaining approach of the night was when I introduced myself and my wing to two girls on the dance floor (one hot, one cute but a bit big). The HB seemed to like me and we started grinding, as did my wing with her friend. About a minute and a half in I start to notice my wing smiling at me apologetically. He then starts to look around the dance floor for other opportunities. Then he bails.
The HB’s friend just stands there for a minute, and then she comes up to me and HB and starts chastising me about how I have the worst wing ever. She then went on to say that she was even wearing makeup and stuff, and repeated that I had the worst wing ever. She must have said that two dozen times within the next two minutes, it was like she was stuck in a loop or something. Anyway I tried to damage control by taking them away from the dance floor, and saying I was only around him because he was my cousin. I then stated he was abandoned as a child, and adopted after he was abandoned so we had no blood relation.
In retrospect all of that was probably a bad idea but it was the only thing I could think up on the spot. Should’ve said he saw his girlfriend or something. The girls ditched me in retribution not long after.
He later apologized to me and said he’d be a good wing next time, so I searched the whole place until I found a decent 7 dancing provocatively next to her very large friend. Payback is a B***H!!!!!
My only two cold approaches went like this:
1) I went to the bar to get some water, approached the two set beside me with the drug dealer opener, paid more attention to the obstacle, and got some good kino with the target. Only problem was that before I went to my next routine my plan was to false time constraint. This wouldn’t have been an issue except instead of saying “I can only stay a minute”, I said “I’ve got to go--” and they cut me off saying they had to go smoke, and left.
2) I approached two 6’s who were sitting down looking bored. I sat with them, finished two routines that the one seemed bored with but the other seemed interested in. Neither volunteered much energy in the interaction but it was really loud and I think the interested one was kind of nervous, like she didn’t want to mess it up. The next part of my stack was the bf test, and when I asked them if they had ever done it the non interested one said yes. “Really? How’d it go?” I asked, and then it became apparent that she hadn’t heard me correctly, probably the whole time. At this point my stack called for the “you’re too high maintenance” line, and since I couldn’t see that going over well given the situation, I thanked them and left.
My thought process for next time is to go out with the goal of following the three second rule no matter what, and to stay in set running my material until they leave. Even if I run out of things to say my goal will be to stay in and just look confident. I think that if I follow the three second rule and approach as soon as I enter it will make talking to strangers what is normal. My issue seems to be that right now I get into this zone where what’s normal is wondering around, or talking with the people I came with. I need to get out of this zone.