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Thread: Good effort, poor results. The diary of a slow learner- LARGE POST

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    lookout is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Good effort, poor results. The diary of a slow learner- LARGE POST

    I have mostly used this forum just to get connected to other pua's in my local area, and I've gotten a few good connections from here so I want to start by thanking the forum really. But now I have a few problems and I just want to have my highs and lows dissected by the group. Please be honest with what I need to improve and what- from what you can tell from my sarge reports- I'm doing wrong and right.

    These reports are usually written straight after the night out so as not to forget any details, but that means that I'm still a little crunk/hyper so if they seem a little disorganised this is why!

    Thank you in advance. One last think I want to mention before i copypaste is that I'm noticing a repeating theme nowadays. It's not quite the Bitch Shield, but It's in the same vein. Girls are taking great pleasure in turning men down. Not just myself but the more I observe other "sets" or interactions the more I see girls taking pleasure in shutting interactions down. Maybe some advice pertaining to this? anyway, here are my reports, thanks again

    19-10-2012 Sets opened- 5
    Before this Sarge began I had a couple of things that I wanted to try out, ways of approaching that were low energy rather than hyper, and having a friendship frame rather than a seduction frame. The results were disastrous. In terms of reference points it could be considered a massive success, but in terms of actual progress it was the worst Sarge I have, in my 4 months, ever been a party to. The things I learnt from this night out have taught me well, the main lesson is BE HIGH ENERGY. At a more advanced level there are, I’m sure, ways of seducing a woman or group while keeping energy low. Richard la Ruina has made it known many times that he likes to isolate a target from her group, this he does in a low energy way. This approach is definitely not suited to opening sets however, and even when me and Pauly were isolating targets things were going stale. A couple of sets simply made an excuse to leave and walked away (something that has only happened once and only than because the motive became too obvious, calling friends over). This is of course DEVASTATING to social proof and makes it much easier to get rejected.
    The illness- low energy openings and poor conversation (trying to communicate in a chilled out way rather than cutting threads at a fast pace)
    The cure- energy, energy, energy, energy, energy, energy, energy

    My first mistake- Given that I was using the chilled out approach would be complementary. Not so. For the first half of the night I was nervous and found it hard to hold state because of this. I couldn’t think of things to say and conversations fizzled out. Even when my opening improved my conversation didn’t.

    So let’s warm up. What’s the worst thing that can happen in set? You crash and burn. What if you went out and did a couple of sets that burned ON PURPOSE to remove that fear of defeat in future? So that’s what we did. Others burns include approaching set and making yourself look as nervous and awkward as possible, but you cannot say a word no matter how awkward things get. Try and stay in set as long as possible. Tonight’s burn was limiting yourself to “Hi” to communicate.

    Where to go- This is becoming routine, the walk on cobbled streets around concert square and bold street. We tend to stick to the same places and don’t see much of this city.

    Reclining in? We begin in a bar facing O’Neill’s Irish pub on Hanover street. Actually my first time in the place and every set is with a male in it. Cant help but think how mystery would be approaching every set in the place. What if they think im weird? What if they laught at me? We recline drinking our icy water and assessing the situation. We talk about the state of game and what it means, but don’t actually approach anyone, and leave within 5 minutes

    Alma de Cuba- This place is classy. The kind of bar you wouldn’t be embarrassed to be in even if you were on holiday in Monaco. Again we approach no sets. There are seated sets, standing sets, bar sets. But no approaches. I’m not centred or icy- this is a scary environment. I look chill though and keep my b.l alpha. We hang round for a little while and get some water, then leave.

    The jail set- This was a vicious act by the girls, and shows a dark side to women in general. Their being so young and stupid meant that it wasn’t malice or revenge that made them act as they did but pure instinct. They were about 18, 3 of them. Two were 7’s, but one was a 9. They invited us to come with them and we ran game as we walked. We negged and qualified them, and got some success. I was working on the 9 but wasn’t really getting anywhere, she was mostly occupied with trying to walk in her 7 inch heels than with talking to me, but I could tell that she wasn’t interested by how she responded to me. Why?
    We were actively dlv by following these girls we didn’t know- “these boys probably would follow any group they saw, we aren’t special to them”
    We were showing poor social proof by being alone
    We just seemed desperate! No attraction switches were there.
    Whatever the reasons behind it, by the time we reached privilege they had decided they were done with us. The 9 put her arm in mine at the queue to get in, purely to make the bouncer think we were a couple to improve their chances of getting in. I furthered the effect by putting my arm around her tiny waist. It was a success in life anyway to be at that point. In the line of a club with my arm around a stunning 9 and blagging my way in when neither of us had i.d. After checking the I.D of everyone in the queue the bouncers got to me and the 9 and when asked for the I.D that neither of us had I calmly said “oh, we haven’t got any on us but our friends are inside” as if that made everything all better. Neil strauss- “if you say because to somebody it often doesn’t even matter what the reason is, just by being told because they can justify believing what you have to say without needing to think about it”
    But that illusion of me and my hot girlfriend only lasted a few minutes. As soon as we got in the club they showed their intent. They sat together next to a group of black lads- kryptonite to un-intelligent young white girls. We were done. They practically froze us out when we sat next to them and talked to them and it was obvious who they wanted to stay and who to go. We took the hint.

    Back to Baa Bar- We spent too long in here. It wouldn’t of been too long if we had opened sets successfully but the few sets we did open were awkward as hell and didn’t go anywhere. Downstairs we opened several table sets but they WALKED AWAY a few times! This is of course disastrous for social proof. We played it off as much as possible by standing up at the same time as them and bailing but it was obvious to anyone paying attention what was happening. Bad things. I opened a teacher 6 but conversation fizzled out. I couldn’t think what to say and the nail in the coffin came when I asked her if she had kids, she replied no and I said I only had 2, “only joking I haven’t really. Not something you should tell a girl you’ve just met that is it”. That final sentence BROADCASTED my interest and killed the interaction. I didn’t bother to re-initiate and neither did she.

    Not feeling it- The sarge was, as I said, a failure. In terms of reference points I learnt a lot. We bounced pretty soon after that and avoided bumper. We never seem to go in there anymore- probably because you have to pay to get in.
    we got laughed at- happy birthday girl and friends

    conclusion- be high energy but not too high, concentrate on the body language and always aim to get locked in to set

    Next time- approach, “what’s your name”, logistics (get her to tell you why she can’t leave with you), bounce, I love you.

    What I learnt from the worst Sarge yet-
    Men are seen as being sexual in intent and nature when cold approaching. Friendly and toned down is the PERFECT way of meeting a person, but only when it is a warm approach
    Cold approaches must be high energy
    Don’t smoke weed- especially not before a sarge, it kills your usefulness
    Always look at things from a girls perspective
    Don’t stay in a location too long, but don’t bounce too quickly either
    Invite people out- staying in a group means instant social proof
    Converse energetically- cut threads, be interested, use body language and gestures
    Hold eye contact- the talkaway is obsolete
    Don’t be fake, don’t hide your intentions- even if it is by being “friendly”. You are there to see if they match your standards and would make a good partner for you
    They came to town to find a man- they love attention and seduction as much as you! Even if they didn’t it is still in their mind and can be brought to the fore. It just has to be done the right way

    21-10-2012 Make amends
    - Tonight was about reclaiming victory after yesterday’s awful performance. The energy was turned right up and the body language was too. Stepaways, talkaways, eyecontact, triangular gazing, cutting threads ect. The main aim was to open 20 sets, which I did. They were just surface achievements however, and for all the opens I did there was no deep connecting and no kiss closes or lockins. Again a good night in terms of reference points but not in terms of real success. I have learnt from tonight but the area of game I need to improve on now is inner game!
    EMC, push+pull, I love you, making them lead the conversation, general wittiness and banter.

    High energy!- I was floating on an inflated ego. I turned the energy up to the max and just casually opened time and time again. “its so disorganised” was Paulys excuse for not opening many sets that night. Hardly much of a reason given the madness you are surrounded by in Liverpool city centre on a Saturday night. But it was him rationalising- just as a girl rationalises that she’s going back to a boys house “for a coffee”. For him the night didn’t click, for me it was magic. I still now am happy with our sarge despite not closing purely because of the difference between yesterday and tonight- this pua sh1t really works. And if our sets can go from completely unresponsive yesterday to attracted and hooked today by my changing technique, THAT MEANS IMPROVED TECHNIQUE WILL LEAD TO IMPROVED REULTS IN THE FUTURE. Kissing girls ive just met and bouncing them is within grasp! Don’t be afraid to burn sets and push the limits.
    Julien- Frankfurt, Germany-

    Pauly D- I don’t know what was wrong with Pauly. He was having major a.a. The clubs we were in were beyond full and it was damn near impossible to open anything in there- that was when you could even find a girl in those clubs. Pretty much full to the brim with cock in there.

    Conclusion- open 20 sets (done).

    Next Sarge- play (accents and characters), connect on a deeper lever. Control your energy and see things from the girls point of view. Stay in set for 30 mins. Push and pull.

    26-10-2012 More of the same

    Sarge unsuccessful. Sets opened- 5 (2 sets male) Not nearly enough
    Flaky wingman- A bad start to the night already. My wingman Pauly “couldn’t be arsed” to come down. It is a fair drive from chester to be fair but the the short notice threw me. The last 2 months sarges had always been with either Pauly or Dave, I had to decide whether I was going to go out still or just go home and save myself possible embarrassment- or success.

    Drinks- I had about a quart of vodka before I went out, hoping it would give me some courage. I wasn’t shy that night but didn’t get good results either. There were very few sets available and I was without a good wingman to force me to sit tight and really look for sets. One can easily dismiss the massive aid that fellow pua is in sarging. It is when you sarge with “normal” friends that you realise just how much a decent lair moves with one intent.

    Going in- I make my way down bold street via the normal cobbled road and sh1te shops. On the way to club 43 I pass some of the familiar skanks and punters and feel that something is slightly different this time. I don’t have the normal build up of energy that I get when im with the other pua’s. I did open a single set- a flyergirl that reminds me a little of my ex girlfriend. She is from sunderland and has an odd shields accent that I always give token abuse. It was a small victory for me given that I am so much weaker when im alone.

    The meetup- Im in 43 for about 10 minutes before the people I’m meeting arrive. In that time Ive already MADE SURE to open the available sets in the place- a 3 set of lads on the couches, and a lad behind the bar that I know through a mutual friend. Im in set with this man when they enter the bar. Things go well in the beginning with this group. It is an 8 set with 2 girls, and I know one male in the group- my work friend Neil. I open the girl in the group and game her, getting good ioi’s, I let the interaction die out however and it stays at a semi-kino phase before stalling. The other males are some just sitting staring into blank space, and some pretending that their beer bottles are their d1cks and sucking each other off. The AMOG begins. Due to momentum and group safety the 2 amog’s (my friend neil and his friend bam who is the bf of one of the girls), and continue to draw all attention to themselves for the rest of the time in there. After talking to Neil’s unresponsive brother for a couple of minutes I walk back to the blonde 5 I was talking to and sit with her trying once or twice to re-initiate conversation- I cant relax with her or connect. I decide to sit back now for a little while and let the amogs put on their display (one of them is bumming another now while one is sucking another off). This is a BAD move as I am now reacting to them, I am at the effect while they are at the cause- and their value is increasing while mine is decreasing.

    Amigo or enamigo- After the relative safety of 43, the group showed it’s true ugly side in LAGO. Given that I was a friend of one of theirs and hadn’t met these people before a certain amount of friendliness is expectable. This group was very unfriendly and practically closed ranks and cut me out of the circle once we got inside LAGO. In 43 and the LAGO queue my small amount of conversation meant I wasn’t the centre of attention and so I was a low status member of the group. Instead of trying to bring me in more or find out about me I was almost shunned by the group as the males were desperate to higher their value to the point that they absolutely jumped on the chance to shred mine given that it would mean them achieving their end. This is a rather detestable and cowardly type of character, and one that shows extraordinary malice and sinister portend.
    Opening in the queue- my few unsuccessful attempts to open in the queue meant my value sank lower. I wasn’t helping myself here. Why didn’t they hook? I didn’t have energy or direction, and there was absolutely no momentum. I had sat back after being defeated and then tried to jump straight back into a high energy state and wasn’t hooking the interest of the girls in the queue. This may have only been seen by one or two but let assume they all heard it- this is BAD for social value, but is completely a byproduct of poor calibration.

    La go- Once in LAGO my value was already set as low, this is unfortunate for similar situations as this one but again, these males were particularly unwelcoming and none of them tried to engage me in conversation but decided to give all their attention to the two alphas, who were by this point pulling the hair of various people in the group. As is utterly predictable the single girl was by this point paying attention to and therefore being attracted to one of the amogs. I was left dancing OUTSIDE the group and trying to find decent sets to open. When it is full LAGO is a very tough pull, people were in tight groups and the music was so loud you had to shout to the person next to you. This meant that in order to open a set verbally I had to really walk up and commit to the open. If I could get gamblers elusive stealth method to work it would of made things fly for me, but I have yet to find the right opportunity to make it really pay dividends, and so I was stuck using the tools I have right now.
    THE COLD CLUB SANDWICH- see a girl you like, approach regardless of her situation-as long as there are few/no men in the set, start with kino but low-investment and un-objectionable openers (i.e shake hands and hello, or “hi, you ok, just thought id say hello- you don’t mind do you”), either eject if the set proves hostile/doesn’t surrender it’s target/doesn’t go along with my conversation/makes me uncomfortable.
    How I want the approach to go- I am getting ioi’s and can therefore choose the girl that I want
    Her r.a.s is either on me or gets onto me from a distance?
    The target is friendly
    I manage to isolate the target
    I kiss close/Number Close/fark/all the above- the simplest part of the interaction. Once the target is alone things are A LOT simpler.

    Reinforcements- After what feels like forever-but what is probably 15 minutes of dancing solo, I bump into simon quayle! The lovely man. He presents a very easy choice for me to take- come with him back to 43 or stay put and continue to be ignored. I left LAGO.

    Maya?- this club was nice, a real classy latin type of atmosphere where you could buy cocktails from barstaff that were, for some reason, all wearing denim jackets. It was sparsely populated but had a couple of easy sets in it.
    Final set- from a distance she looked like a 7, but acne marks had scarred her face and she was a 5 with a nice body. I used the cold club sandwich approach, and approached without any calibration of her situation or knowledge of how she would react to me. Understandably she was cold and uncomfortable- clearly thinking “why is he approaching, what will my friends think, I’m uncomfortable, what is he going to say”. The gambler approach would be perfect here but she simply wasn’t looking at me. How would I apply it? Given that the set was somewhat hostile I ejected quickly and didn’t try to talk her round. The discomfort was a product of my approach and my approach doesn’t even cater for this. My game needs stitching up asap.
    Home- Self explanatory. The end to the worst sarge so far of my career. An utter failure. Crushed and defeated I dragged myself home. There was however, one very small and easily missable thing that happened on the way home that would turn out to be a prelude.

    That glimmer of hope- There has now twice been a glimmer of hope thrown to me by the gods, a glimpse into “pua-dom”. On both these occasions I have lived the reality of Julien- even if only for a second. As I finished my walk up Bold street alone, I made it past St. Luke’s to where Saul Goodman plays the banjo for money. “a farking sh1t night mate” was my reply to him, “no woman, no farking woman” I start looking around my feet to see where I might have dropped a woman if I had actually managed to snatch one. “Ah well…it happens…..” Little help that was to me. I carried on venting my soul to Goodman about how unlucky and alone I was until I noticed a girl walking up and decided to illustrate the fact that I was alone by clinging to her as she came closer as if any female was something magical to me. Something curios happened though- there was no resistance

    Conclusions- I need to peel myself and expose the flesh. Strip my character and let game replace it. Every set I open rubs my nose in my defects.
    I need to improve conversation! How- open sets constantly and try to keep them hooked as long as possible
    Give up game? Is it possible to quit now after learning what I have? Is it possible to even quit should be the question. How is it possible to stop what you must do to survive. Any time one human approaches another that they do not know yet they are COLD APPROACHING. They are using pickup on some level and trying to convince one character that they are worth putting their trust in. Whether they have studied pickup or not they are still using it. The things I have learned here will never be forgotten and cannot be put down once picked up.
    I can leave sarging however. Going out to Sarge is my link to the women of the outside world. Without it I would not be meeting women at all. My ego says stop but it would be unwise to do that. Weed is still a factor. It is ruining my social calibration and timing, aswell as my creativity in speech. It is simply numbing me to the outside world.
    Fierce farking sets- WHAT is with the aggressive reclusiveness that girls use to ward men off
    3 men waved to a woman right next to them. She was waving to a friend in the distance and obviously not to them. Her response was to frown and stop waving- instantly ending the interaction. “I’m not waving to you “. Excessively harsh. Nobody in the set even moved toward her but she felt the need to SHUT THE INTERACTION DOWN a.s.a.p.
    Why? There was no danger or threat- she was hanging out of a taxi. They weren’t approaching or escalating things sexually, there was nothing sexual in the interaction. They had not previously injured her. They HAD started the escalation. There were 3 of them- perhaps she felt things might begin to escalate quickly

    The muscles- more a hindrance than a help. Sets are weary to be opened by me, even when alone.
    Side note; I was amog’d again by Neil today (30/10/1012). He asked me to put his hood over his head because he was “too ill to do it” himself. Watch out for Neil, he throws hoops. When he does counter with your own hoop.

    27-10-2012 Success sets opened: 20

    After all this time and effort, a major breakthrough. All the failures, all the rejections all the embarrassment- the wages finally came.
    I kissed 3 girls last night, 2 of which were full open mouth make-outs. With every single one of the girls I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THEIR NAME. I had literally been talking to the girls for less than a minute each time and was focusing fully on just body language and escalating. The full make-out girls weren’t beautiful but I got the number of the last one, who was at least a 5. But the kiss on the lips girl was an 8, maybe she had a boyfriend or maybe fully kissing me was just too much for her in that situation, but she DEFINITELY enjoyed the attention and the drama. So too did the other girls, otherwise why would they allow it to happen? Another girl I tried to kiss and she simply backed away, but before trying to kiss her I picked her up and carried her a couple of feet away- she laughed and squealed when I did this. She enjoyed it! Another girl, a 7 with the body of a 9 was barely wearing anything and as she walked past I stood in her way and said “excuse me love tight squeeze” making myself thin as if trying to push past but while staying directly in her way. She was obviously not having a problem with this so after a couple of seconds I grabbed her and held her- as with the other girl she squealed and didn’t fight me off. This is all Julien 101. It works!
    Downsides to the RSD approach; it can take a long time to get in state- but opening many sets is always a good thing. Think of it like this, the more sets you open the better sets you open.
    You are running the risk of getting punched every time you escalate without assessing the situation. The approach is very disagreeable to any men that are with the target.

    1-12-2012 Field report- Liverpool

    A full two months after my last sarge and I’m here again. Despite the break I got some good results, depending on how you want to look at it. I kissed three girls, almost 5, but one was working and the other gave me her number. Vienna apparently, we shared a good connection, she was definitely a 7. I used the direct non aggressive approach with her and it was effective- the others were direct aggressive approaches. As a percentage I would say that I was rejected about 60% of the time, while the others were either kisses or successful or were generally not negative responses. It is understandable that girls don’t want to be molested like that, I can appreciate that. It is a lot more satisfying than going the slow route and then being shot down- at least with the aggressive direct approach you have invested a lot less time and energy in the interaction.
    How was it not successful though? Well that crushing sense of impotence was there again, as it always is when around women. That slow burning hate of their complete and undeserved power over me, that want to crush their tiny skulls just to show them who really is in charge. With no effort or even desire often times they have the ability to make you want them, and shoot your advances down without even an apology. What do they expect when they wear skimpy outfits and make themselves as attractive as possible? It’s the classic example women use “just because im wearing a short skirt doesn’t mean I’m a slag….”. But what do they want from a night out? Just to dance? Just to drink? Maybe to meet a man but to do it on their own terms. fark that. How do I take the power back- be famous, be popular, get good at game. My three options. 1 and 2 aren’t happening any time soon so 3 will have to be my option. This hatred isn’t healthy but I can’t help it. The balance will even itself when I am in my 30’s, and in my 50’s it will be fully in the hands of the males. The only thing that women have is their looks- it is the thing that gives them power, and when it goes so does their control. Just as they become worthless men are the ones in charge.
    Why are they bitchy? It is to protect themselves by appearing “cool”, it is their shtick so that they aren’t completely defenceless against men. How to respond? Don’t give them sh1t, just appear hurt and trick them into lowering their defences.”omg why do you hate me I only wanted to say hi”
    I digress.
    Why else was the sarge unsuccessful? I didn’t pull, I didn’t fark any girls. I could fark amy but I don’t want to really, my text game is sh1t, I didn’t make any deep connections- dave was always around the corner. If I go out for 1 hour a day and game I will be able to thicken the conversations and improve my game, no worrying about other people just game. 1 hour a day and I can get all the numbers I want.
    Criteria for success during daygame- 1 instant date. 2 full kiss. 3 number close.

    I havent sarged in awhile now on account of the cold weather and im kind of seeing someone, so im letting myself get a little lazy. If im honest it is my lack of results thats putting me off. I'm not very good at this.

  2. #2
    YOKiTran's Avatar
    YOKiTran is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Good effort, poor results. The diary of a slow learner- LARGE POST

    it'll be easier to read if u break ur sentences into paragraph... make ur diary nice n neat if ur looking for critiques.^^


  3. #3
    lookout is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Good effort, poor results. The diary of a slow learner- LARGE POST

    Ah there is too much, if i made it neater i would delete the majority of it, I wanted it to be posted as it came out from my head, stream of consciousness as it were. Then again maybe this is documented proof of me wildly over thinking things.

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